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Tag: value

Acceptance and a face tattoo

Last night I had a dream I got a tattoo. It was a big black tribal symbol winding down the side of my face and neck. Sometimes my hair would hide it, but no amount of accessories or clothing could conceal its dark lines. I spent most of the dream trying to come to terms with it and accept the fact I had this thing permanently etched onto my skin.

I’ve sat with NY Times bestselling authors, farmers in Nepal, Tibetan Buddhists, Wall Street sharks, Italian philosophers and millionaires from California. They all have one thing in common:

Everyone wants something.

I have yet to meet an individual who is 100% honestly, truly satisfied. Everyone has some benchmark they are trying to tip, some element of their life they wish they could change. This is life.

No matter where you are, who you are, how much money you have, or who sleeps next to you, there is something that could be better, easier, more exciting, different. This gap drives who we are and what we do. We spend so much time and energy building, creating, altering and striving that it seems against our nature to be satisfied.

Acceptance is one of those gold terms; if you nail it, you’re rich. Wealth comes from recognizing what cannot be changed and where there is opportunity (of self, of others, the good and bad of what life deals you). If you can work with what you have, you’re well on your way.

5 questions to measure success

I’ve been thinking about the American Dream and how we’ve come to define wealth and achievement. I’m turning 30 soon, a benchmark to pause and reflect on life’s work and progress.

Yet the ways in which I was taught to measure “success” don’t seem to apply to me.

I don’t own a house or a car. What I do own fits into a duffle bag. I sleep under a mosquito net. My savings account is negligible, I have student loans I will probably never be able to pay. I’m unmarried, I have no children. In full disclosure, it’s been awhile since I received a regular paycheck.

According to the American Dream, I’m a complete failure.

It has me wondering if our notion of wealth has become distorted. If the scales we use to determine value and impact are skewed, if we’re asking the wrong questions — both of ourselves of the organizations we trust.

As I enter a new decade, I consider:

Are you helping others?

Are you accomplishing set goals?

Do you feel welcomed into a community? 

Are there people in your life who support you?

Are you learning, getting just a little bit better, more patient, more compassionate, more understanding, more loving each day?

For more on redefining success, wealth and the American Dream, read my original post on Medium.

Lessons on working for free

For almost one year, I’ve volunteered my time serving a group of people I’ve grown to care for immensely. While I’ve sacrificed a lot, I’ve been granted much more in return. Some key takeaways:

1. Let excitement be your guide.

Excitement is an internal barometer letting you know you’re on track. If you’re not excited to get to work, you’re in the wrong place.

There was a time I had to coax myself out of bed in the morning. I was bored, frustrated, unchallenged, disenchanted. After I began placing myself in environments that made me feel valued and appreciated, a train engine powered my days. Clocking hours no longer mattered, and my worth became less about the money I was making and more about the contribution I was adding to the world around me.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s impossible have all the answers. Pretending you do so only prevents you from building relationships and trusted communities. Questions – no matter how obvious they may seem – not only provide information but also serve as gateway to meaningful connections. Asking for help allows others the opportunity to teach you about their world and their way of doing things. If you’re afraid to ask, you can bank on missing out.

3. Give, and you’ll be taken care of.

Decisions can be made from one of two places: scarcity or abundance.

A scarcity mentality is restricted to a finite amount of resources. The underlying emotion is fear. What if there isn’t enough, what if I give and there’s nothing left for me?

Abundant thinking, however, evolves from a place of trust, faith, and confidence. There is always enough; in fact, there is more than enough. Giving becomes less of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to do what’s right — a pleasure.

I used to think a lot about what I didn’t have. In hindsight, I prevented myself from becoming who I wanted to be. When I started to concentrate on what I do have, I gave more. I cared less about what was lacking and more about using my gifts in a way that mattered.

4. Worry less (it paralyzes you)!

Worrying serves no one. It’s a black hole, a basket collecting your best ideas and strongest intentions. Anxiety has stopped me from solidifying friendships, initiating projects, finishing goals. I’ve found myself slave to an endless chain of insecurity about my worth, capability, value, productivity, and possibility. Not beneficial. Not fun.

The irony is this: when I gave more, I was given more. Even though I haven’t received a paycheck, I’ve been taken care of — there’s a roof over my head, food to eat, people to cheer me on. I’ve received introductions to incredibly accomplished individuals and have found greater depth in my relationships.

Yes, due-diligence is required to develop plans and take action. But after you’ve put in your work, believe in yourself and the purity of your intentions. Your efforts will pay off.

Who helps you find what’s next?

Throughout my work, I’ve helped professionals connect in ways that matter. By carefully assessing the talents and skills of my clients, I consider how strangers might enter a room and leave as friends. I see value in introducing individuals to those who know how to get them closer to their goals. Maybe this person has “arrived” there already, or they know how to get there, or they know someone who can help. My hope is to help people cross that sometimes awkward edge of newness and unfamiliarity with opportunities to have relaxed, easy conversations. I call it curated networking, and no two experiences are alike.
An outsider observer has a different perspective than you. They have the ability to align you with others you might not otherwise meet, someone who can introduce you to fellow travelers, instigators who can help you move onto the next level.
You need these people in your life.

selling yourself, itching, and bragging rights

You don’t need to sell yourself; you just need to create an itch.

(Unless you are famous. If you’re like me, you’re not, so you’ll need to work to demonstrate credibility and get attention.)

Show me your passion, your professionalism, your successes. Make me believe you’re friendly and approachable and confident and dependable and honest and good.

I want to know you can give me what you say you can. I want to know I’ll get my money’s worth — maybe even more. And I want to know you take pride in your art.

It’s not bragging if it’s true.

Conversations that matter, organizing, and impresarios: A dinner event in March

Everyone knows bringing people together in meaningful ways has value. But what does that mean? And how do you build environments that get people to be authentic and real?

Questions I hear:

  • How do you move beyond “What do you do?” at networking events?
  • How important is a guest list, really?
  • Does the environment matter?
  • Can you prevent people from dishing out business cards like candy on Halloween?
  • Is it possible to focus discussion and achieve set goals without appearing forced or insincere?

The answers to these questions are gold and will save you mega dollars on event planners, facilitators and consultants — while increasing YOUR worth to your network and clients.

We are all looking for tribes, searching for people who can help us. There is real value in those able to make these connections. You don’t have to wait or hire someone. You can make this your passion, too.

I’m organizing a special event for impresarios (and for those who might not yet know they are one).

This private gathering will be held in one of my favorite NYC spots, a hidden room home to one of my very first dinners where I [nervously] invited friends and colleagues from different industries to share warm food and life wisdom.

I’ve timed the event so those attending Seth’s workshop can finish up before traveling downtown to hatch ideas with others looking to make waves. And have a tasty meal, too. We will be talking about how to organize, host, and prepare for some of the challenges you might encounter as you plan events of your own. You may even meet the right person to help make your project happen.

Attendance is limited (15-20 people), and dinner is provided. Early ($180) and regular ($275) invites will be extended. Applications for early invitations can be found here.

Bonus: In addition to our evening together, you will be able to opt into a private online community where you can meet others who have dined at our table over the years.

Have questions? Contact Michelle.