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Starting matters

Starting matters. There’s no barometer, no baseline, no comparison. It’s 1/1, and the scale is tipped. Without the first, there can never be the ninth.

The effect shrinks when you reach 300. 1/725 hits different.

Remember that when you start: The first matters, but it doesn’t matter “the most.”

Take the pressure off and begin.

P.S. You can now find me on Instagram.

Dealing with fear

Fear stops relationships from growing, businesses from booming, and projects from shipping. But to deal with fear — to dance with it — you have to first recognize the role it plays in your creative process.

Fear is natural. It’s not going anywhere.

It’s much better to learn to see it and confront it so you can put it in its rightful place.

Don’t shy aware from fear. Dance with it, instead.

Tell me what helps you manage your fears @redheadlefthand.

The case for risk

We’re afraid of making our desires known. It’s scary to show pieces of ourselves to another, parts that make us vulnerable, the gentle spaces we perceive as fragile. It’s easier to hide behind accomplishment and labels and somebody else’s dreams.

what if I’m alone

what if I can’t make rent

what if it never happens

what if I’m found out

what if I fail

Fear morphs into competitive comparison as we scan the lives of colleagues and peers, anxiously wondering if we measure up. Our minds stop us from living, from allowing ourselves to just be.

Imagine if all that watching and playing it safe on the sidelines turned into focused energy.

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to do?

When I finally pushed doubt to the side, I became a writer. I became generous, forgiving, loving, and daring because I stopped caring about what didn’t matter in the first place and started paying attention to moments that made my heart swell.

I’m scared often.

I’ve had to get comfortable living with little in my bank account and not having a neatly packaged answer when people ask, “What’s next?”

But because of that, I’ve experienced beautiful mysteries I would have otherwise missed.

Life shouldn’t be neatly laid out.

Not the life I want to live.

Modified from this original post.

Takeaways from two weeks of “Positive Talk”

14 people from around the world signed up to join me in a small experiment: For two weeks, I would commit to daily discussions focused on Good Things.

I spoke with Italians, Brits, folks in the United States, Sweden, and Nepal. On some days I had to talk myself up for the session; other days I looked forward to thirty minutes of positivity.

At the beginning of each call, I asked participants to rank themselves on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 for on-the-floor depression and 10 for something close to contagious joy). At the end of our call, I asked for another self-ranking. 12 out of the 14 participants reported an increase in positive feelings. The other two reported no change, having already reported high levels of feeling. I, too, found myself feeling better at the end of the calls.

But beyond feeling better, I felt seen. Those thirty minutes became a plug-in of support, encouragement, and connection. Many participants echoed battles with imposter syndrome“Am I good enough, capable enough, strong enough, ready enough, productive enough, gentle enough, prepared enough?” Time management was another expressed hurdle, but it was rephrased as a goal that could be conquered.

And in all of these calls, it became clear that even when the world seems upside down, we have the ability to write our own narratives. We have the choice to fall into old, self-sabotaging coping strategies or tap into traits that can set us up for something greater. We can choose to see ourselves through a compassionate lens, or we can cling to memories that no longer apply. Our stories can become ones of curiosity and growth.

There’s no telling when or if things will return to “normal.” This experiment, however, reminded me there are many things still in our control. We can make time to connect, and we can train our minds to focus on creation, empathy, and compassion — for ourselves and for others. I’m thankful to all those who participated in this experiment with me.

Try for yourself: Set a calendar of participants (ask friends, family, and colleagues), keep a journal of notes, and record pre- and post- rankings for each call. Let me know how it goes.

What do you want more than anything?

Grit. Determination. Focus. Passion. Stubbornness. Courage. Diligence. Patience.

Your biggest dreams will require all of these and more. You will wonder whether your sacrifices are “worth it.” You will question your decisions and make mistakes. You will disappoint others. You will disappoint yourself. Your resolve will be tested, over and over again.

But if you really, truly want something? Nothing will stop you.

Check out Diana Nyad’s story if you’re needing some inspiration today.

Find what fuels you

art
music
nature
fixing
writing
walking
helping
praying
laughing
tinkering
exploring
reading
hiking
organizing
scultping
discovering
drawing
planting
analyzing
dancing
donating
planning
dreaming
yoga
hosting
gardening
meditating
sewing
giving
playing
cleaning
running
loving
singing
crafts
gratitude
building
painting
connecting
do more of that.