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Tag: passion

Strike while the iron is hot

Success is complicated. Failure can be easier to unpack (and accept); a boot stomping out a potential future. Success, however, leads into a winding, mystifying unknown. This is scary to many people and for good reason.
When things start to go right, how do you respond? Do you take credit or attribute some outside force — the right place at the right time, a lucky draw, someone else’s connections, a recommendation from a trusted peer.
Sure, sometimes you get lucky. But when fortune starts to favor you, don’t back down or shy away from success. Keep working hard, keep saying yes, keep finishing tough projects. And remember: You deserve your wins.

When there isn’t a spark

When your heart no longer flutters in your relationship, at work, or for a project, you have a decision:

1.) Walk away

2) Dig in

If you choose Option 1, take time to consider what went well about the experience. What aspects were enjoyable? What attracted you in the first place?

For Option 2, make sure there’s an upswing. How is the situation serving you and helping expand your skillset? What goals are you working toward?

Rekindling takes time and effort but can be just as rewarding as finding new passions.

5 ways to add magic to your life

1. Say yes.

To people, to adventures, to new experiences, to uncomfortable situations. Saying yes will help you unravel all that life has to offer. Remove “what ifs” from your imagination and stay open.

2. Love fully.

Love yourself whole-heartedly, love others willingly, love the circumstances life brings you. Loving keeps you humble, generous, and able to receive.

3. Search for something new.

Go to new places, eat different foods, listen to a variety of music and lectures and plays. Keep your mind broad and your interests vast.

4. Be grateful.

No matter the circumstance — positive, negative, lucky, misfortunate — pinpoint something to be thankful for and look for the lessons life wants to teach you.

5. Cultivate relationships.

Nurture bonds with your dearest ones. Take time to mentor others and listen to mentors of your own. Identify role models and borrow some of their lifestyle habits.

Life is meant to be unpacked, day by day and year by year. Each decade will carry new teachers and gifts to you, if you are ready to observe, listen, and fully participate.

Find magic today.

Top 5 posts (an anniversary special)

In March 2012, I began this blog as a way to encourage empathy, prompt curiosity of others, and push networking conversations into something more meaningful than the pass-out-business-cards-conferences and set up fifteen-minute-coffee-dates situations I kept finding myself in.

Since that time, my writings have brought many interesting people to me. I have been fortunate to share my thoughts and observations with many of you and host private networking dinners in New York. From communications to branding, entrepreneurial adventures and challenges, questions and musings, I am honored by the emails I receive in support of my work.

To celebrate this anniversary, I present my top 5 most popular posts:

5. No one has it figured out

4. What brings people together?

3. The path in front of you

2. 5 rules of hustling

1. 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

As always, thank you for reading and thank you for sharing.

Two factors to measure success

How do you measure your success, is is the numbers in your bank account, your title at the firm, the number of clients you land in a month? In this moment, do you consider yourself a failure? Or would you describe yourself as a success?

I have written about how we define and measure success and have asked monks and entrepreneurs and academics what they think. So much of our unhappiness stems from comparison and self-worth — I don’t have a house like she does, look at the wife he has, she was promoted so quickly, he’s making six-figures and I’m stuck at five.

It is easier to see the missing pieces. Thoughts about what we do not posses overtake contemplations about what we do. It takes concentration to remember the places from which you came, the lessons learned along the way, the growth that took years and months to master. Ignore the numbers, as Howard Schultz (Starbucks) realized. Happiness is a fluctuating bar.

I’d like to propose a new method of measuring success. Two factors, actually:

1.) Progress.
2.) Satisfaction.

Progress can be measured by revisiting your starting point. Have you moved forward? Has your company/relationship/personal trait improved by some degree?

Satisfaction is felt and requires some honesty on your part. Do you have a sense of accomplishment or reward at the end of the day? Can you look in the mirror with contentment? With pride?

Progress and/or satisfaction.

If you can claim one of these two characteristics, you are a success. If you have both progress AND satisfaction, you are in an excellent position. Keep going.

Are you making a difference to one person?
Are you doing work honestly and with passion?
Are you focused on integrity and vision?
Are you pleased with your efforts?
Are you able to show up day in and day out?

The root of unhappiness lies in your definition of success. It’s worth revisiting what and who you think is successful and why. Maybe you are, too.

The unusual gift of fear

If you feel afraid, there’s a good chance something big is about to happen. You have a choice: run away or step towards it.

With fear resting on one side of the scale, desire to change sits on the other. Either you desperately want something different or a situation has become so unpleasant it leaves no other possible choice. If you let fear win, you may find yourself in the same position next year, or even five years down the line.

Fear forces you to prepare and plan, to collect information, and to consider possible outcomes. But giving too much power to fear welcomes anxiety, lets the mind to travel to far too distant places, and distorts your perspective. From an evolutionary perspective, fear triggers fight or flight. Your heart rate quickens, breathing becomes shallow, and your vision narrows. Unknown situations and unfamiliar circumstances trigger the responses our ancestors once had at the hiss of a snake or bear or enemy.

Each time you embrace fear, you become stronger. The spaces fear once lingered become smaller, and in time, you’ll have so much light that only a small shadow is cast. The next time fear creeps into shadowy places, you’ll know how to cope.

Recognize fear for what it is. Write down all of the possible situations that might occur — the mistakes you’re afraid of, the “maybes” that might happen, the potential disasters (yes, even the ludicrous ones), your fears of success.

Then get ready to act. Committing to a decision will increase your confidence, and fear will be the one that begins to tremble.

Breathe deep and go.