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Tag: experience

While you’re dancing

You’re trying to get the project finished, but for whatever reason, your goals aren’t being met. With deadlines looming, all the outcomes you had envisioned are falling short. Nothing is working. Square pegs, round holes. Everywhere. You’re dismally unhappy.

What would happen if you eased off the gas? Put forth a little less effort?

Unmet expectations can be a signal for you to divert your energy. If you’re experiencing continual let-downs and disappointments, it’s absolutely OK to step back and regroup. Is there another project where you can invest your time?

This isn’t giving up, and you’re not a failure. You’re working effectively, conserving your energy for the places pieces fall into place and where people appreciate your efforts.

The best things happen while you’re dancing.

Happy Holidays.

Shortcuts

I’ve worked with monks, criminals, CEOs and students, and they all look for shortcuts. This is why hacks are popular and fitness gurus sell health in pill form and “5-minute exercises.” Numbered blog posts receive more web traffic than developed stories because we want information fast. We don’t have time to sift through inconsequential paragraphs; tell me what I need to know and tell it to me now.

This, to me, is human. We want the quickest, most direct path. We want to learn without putting in time. We want money to come without stress and long hours. We want recognition right after a product launches, and we want to know our destiny instead of watching it slowly unfurl.

While shortcuts help us save time and do work more efficiently, there’s much to be gained from slow, calculated movement.

3 things I learned starting a social enterprise in Nepal

Yesterday I had the honor of addressing attendees of Skövde Business Week. I presented my experiences founding the Learning House, a center devoted to education, leadership and community in Western Nepal. To hear my full talk, click this link.
I believe “A rising tide lifts all boats.” I don’t think scientific research is needed to show that more educated and competent citizens lead to more talented business recruits who in turn create better, more effective businesses. Getting the tide to rise is the difficult part.
My work has taught me the following:

  1. Travel through life curious.
  2. Extend yourself to another.
  3. Ask questions.

When we become fixed on an end result, we tend to lose beautiful opportunities along the way. Had I not allowed myself to explore Nepal, to be open to promise and potential and brokenness, I would have missed some truly profound moments. Since arriving in 2013, I have seen many volunteers come and go; some are so focused on their defined role as Volunteer Teacher they fail to look beyond designated responsibilities and connect with the people they came to serve in the first place.
We dig trenches around ourselves. They’re deepened by societal roles and professional delegations. Our personal selves and true passions become hidden from colleagues, friends, even our families. The irony is that when we move beyond these lines and reach out to each other, we forge meaningful relationships and experience life more deeply. This is when we win.
Finally, ask questions. Your colleague, your neighbor, your grandmother, your client. Who are they? Where are they going? Can you help? It’s impossible to solve problems and brainstorm solutions without taking time to listen. The most successful companies (and people!) are the ones listening — and they’re shifting, giving, adapting and changing in ways that show they care.

Imperfect solution

Several years ago, I had the honor of working alongside Seth Godin. Besides being a brilliant thinker and marketing trendsetter, he’s an incredible teacher.

We organized a workshop for entrepreneurs and business owners. Participants traveled from around the world. Many were experiencing difficulties they were struggling to overcome, and they were looking to Seth for answers.

“Are you so in love with your problem you’re unwilling to try an imperfect solution?” he asked his audience. I watched a few people shift uncomfortably in their chairs. I myself thought of the projects I had outlined and all the reasons I had for not beginning any of them. I didn’t have the right resources, proper connections, mainstream PR or a headline act. I didn’t have anything I thought I needed — which turned out to be an illusion, after all. (I was looking for perfect.)

Seth’s question caught me in my tracks: Do I want this problem to beat me?

It’s possible to start TODAY, even if your current answer is far from ideal.

I chose to win.

Mistakes

Screw ups. Everyone makes them. They’re part of the creative process, embedded into music, wired into our brain. So why is it so difficult to let go of them?

Redefining “mistake” turns dirt into gold. When you trade in unrealistic expectations and begin to cherish the unexpected, you gain valuable opportunities and news ways of seeing the world around you.

Tweet me: How do you define mistakes? What have you learned from them? Have you been surprised by an imperfect outcome or erroneous decision?

7 steps to find your purpose

“How do I find my purpose?” I hear this one a lot. It’s a big question, and in Western society, a lot of weight is placed on the answer. When I came across mine, I wasn’t looking. In fact, I had given up the pro/con lists and analysis charts, and I donated “What Color Is Your Parachute?” to the local bookstore. I very well understood what I did and did not like. I knew exactly what caused me pain and what made me feel good. I knew that giving to others and serving communities made me feel at ease and alive and redirected self-absorption away from myself and onto something positive.

While the path to finding purpose is hardly straight and narrow, there are steps you can take to find your way.

1. Know what you’re good at.
This requires a bit of truth-telling on your part. If you have dreams of joining the MLS but lack coordination and athleticism, it might not be the best use of your energy to focus on what’s unattainable. Instead, consider the skills and talents you do have. What do you do well? What are you known for? Ask a friend if you need help identifying your plus points.

2. Know what you hate.
Sometimes knowing what you DO NOT LIKE is easier than figuring out what you do. It’s pretty straight-forward if you have a visceral reaction to something, and you know when you dislike a certain kind of work. It’s simple: don’t like it, don’t do it.

3. Identify your “non-negotiables.”
This is a phrase often used by matchmaking extraordinaire Patti Stanger. Not only can identifying a list of “must-haves” in a mate help you find The One, it can also help you find The Work. The process forces you to drill down those items that are most important to you while simultaneously reminding you of the fact there will always be shortcomings. No situation is perfect. Compromise and exchange is inherent to the most valuable relationships and life experiences. You will have to give up something in order to do the kind of work you love. What that something is depends on you.

4. Change your environment.
From the clients I’ve worked with, the ones most looking for their purpose are the ones feeling the most stuck. Altering your environment can help. It doesn’t need to be a trip around the world. Changing the furniture in your office, hanging new paintings, even going for long walks can freshen your perspective.

5. Establish routine.
This sounds counterintuitive, but creating a daily routine builds the framework to invite sparks of imagination into your world. It’s like a creative brief: without one, creative people go crazy. Provide a bit of guidance, however, and ideas can be channeled in such a way that finished projects satisfy and delight clients. You also need structure to feel good. Eat frequent meals, sleep at consistent times, exercise regularly. Having a schedule will give your mind a break in routine areas so it can focus on what really matters.

6. Realize nothing is perfect.
Even when you do find the work that makes you come alive, there will be days that feel like death. Once you realize this, there is less pressure on daily ups and downs, and you can relax into projects that bring you satisfaction. I’m not talking about settling, I’m talking about coming to terms with moments that are challenging and hard (typically these tumultuous times are good for you, serving to recommit yourself to your purpose).

7. Don’t stop.
Don’t quit. Don’t give up. You’re too important. The world needs you.