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Category: Inspiration

Build reputation, establish trust

The fastest way to build reputation and trust with the audiences you care about: treat everyone the same.

Granting exceptions to certain people makes your work difficult, and you have to remember who you promised what. Trust is the only way you can make solutions that matter and develop reliable products.

Give the same respect, the same quality of time, the same work effort, the same level of commitment to each one of your clients. What you do and what you say must align in order for any of it to count.

Top 10 blog posts

Before I list the Top 10 most popular posts I’ve written, I want to acknowledge something big: Project Exponential is coming up on FOUR YEARS of existence, and I can hardly believe it.

I remember that first dinner as if it happened last month. I had to talk myself into calling friends and a few famous people I didn’t know all that well and ask them to join me for something new, an experiment of sorts. I was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to that initial event, second-guessing my planned ice-breakers and seating arrangement. At the end of the night I was so worked up, I couldn’t let myself admit a grand success had just taken place.

Countless dinners later, I continue to receive emails thanking me for thoughtfully creating these kinds of dinners: invaluable introductions; new friends, new ideas; old friends, old ideas; surprising conversations; delight. It’s all come together beautifully, and I couldn’t be more grateful to those who have participated and referred clients seeking meaningful connection.

Top 10 posts:
10. I stopped trying.
9. Figure out what you want to learn and go do it.
8. Stop trying to find your purpose
7. 7 sins of crowdfunding
6. The people in your life will make or break you.
5. 10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)
4. What brings people together?
3. A coffee riddle
2. 5 rules of hustling
1. 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

Thank you for your support, your daring, your ambition, and thanks for coming along this journey with me. Becoming an entrepreneur is not easy, and there are no roadmaps for the many winding, twisting roads you find yourself on. If you have a budding entrepreneur in your life, send them a note to keep going (or share one of these blog posts); if you’re thinking about getting started yourself, GO.

Writing tips for non-writers

If you’re trying to get something done (build a business, raise funds, get a job, find employees), writing is a helpful skill to have. But if you think writing is best left up to the pros, follow my three-step recipe for a writing process that’s both easy and effective.*

Step 1: What are you writing about?

Think about what you want to communicate and who you are trying to reach. What do you want to say? Once you decide your position or attitude about that thing, you can begin to make notes about your ideas. Jot down words and phrases that come to mind. You can go back and edit later, but for this initial step, get down on paper as much as you can.

Next, structure your writing. If you’re presenting or trying to convince an audience of something, try to organize your thoughts logically. Think about your writing as a hamburger: the top bun is your introduction, the meat and filling is the body (your main points!), and the bottom piece of bread is your conclusion or summary. Leave out any part of this, and your hamburger presentation just isn’t as tempting.

There’s a reason beginning/middle/end works in storytelling.

Step 2. Begin writing!

Don’t overthink this. Go! Start! With Step 1 in hand, you’ll have the framework and parts you need to write something convincing. If this is writing someone else will be reading, you may want to focus on grammar and punctuation. If it’s a love note, your handwriting should be clear enough your lover can read it.

Step 3. Proofread & Edit

Re-read what you’ve written to check for blatant errors. It can help to read out loud (or whisper) to make sure what you’ve written makes sense. Have you repeated words? If so, is this on purpose or can you use better, more colorful synonyms? If this is an important document or email, save yourself future embarrassment and remember to edit spelling and grammatical mistakes.

As with any skill, improvement require practice and dedication. Keep writing! And reading! What articles attract you? Notice what draws your attention and what repels it. What makes you keep reading a story? Surround yourself with quality writing, and you will become a stronger writer.

*I teach these tips to my students in Nepal.

Depression, mood and what you can do

Last year, around 15.7 million adults experienced at least one major depressive episode; this is about 6.7% of the American population. Anyone who has been there knows once you’re in, you’re in. A dark, downward spiral takes over and it’s difficult to climb out. Depression and anxiety paralyzes even perceptive, bright minds and can kill creative endeavors.

In these moments, it feels almost impossible to think about any benefits or plus sides. Yet during these dips and lulls, there are strategies to be learned and tools to pick up to help fight these dark monsters when and if they return.

I’m listing what has helped me. It’s a long road, and I’m grateful for the caring coaches and counselors and friends and mentors who have helped along the way. I hope some of these tips can also help a few of my friends, no matter where you are in the world or what you’re dealing with. Please know you’re not alone.

Number 1: Return to basics

During periods of depression, basic human needs tend to get out of whack. Some people sleep all day while others can’t sleep at all. It’s important to try to establish a regular schedule and routine. Aim for 7-9 hours each night and try to be awake when the sun is out. Even if you’re tempted to take naps, get outside and soak in some rays, they’re good for you and carry Vitamin D.

Try to eliminate or cut down stimulants. Coffee, sugar, drugs and alcohol give you a temporary high and make you feel good for a moment, but when the effect wears off, you’re left feeling even more drained and tired than before.

From my own experiences working with and counseling clients, I’ve noticed that people who suffer from depression tend to be quite sensitive: emotionally and physically. Take care of yourself from the inside out.

Number 2. What are you eating?

Choose to eat healthfully whenever and wherever you can. Whole foods are unprocessed and contain more vitamins and minerals that help boost moods. Again, sweets and alcohol can be tempting for a temporary high, but your blood sugar levels will crash and can push you further downwards.

Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can make everything worse, so put the junk food away and reach for greens, veggies and whole grains. (Omega-3s have been shown to fight depression.)

Number 3. Get moving

Exercise revs up endorphins, helping you feel better as you move. Walking, stretching, going to the gym — it doesn’t matter, as long as it works for you. Be good to your “Earth Suit.”

Number 4. Look up (and around)

Take a moment to think about the triggers that feed your depression and create anxiety.

Facebook? Surfing the net? Watching episode upon episode of TV shows? Staying in the house all day? Talking about certain people? Eating certain meals? Limit these energy suckers and replace them with creative activities:

  • go for a walk
  • volunteer
  • dig around in the garden
  • visit a local bookstore

Make a list of what makes you feel GOOD. These don’t have to be elaborate, expensive activities. Things like:

  • light a candle
  • listen to music
  • visit the farmer’s market
  • call a friend
  • take a class
  • read a book

are easy, cheap and instant mood boosters.

Number 5. Are you independent?

Many people who struggle with depression are powerhouses. They’re capable, strong and fearless. But being too much alone can make depression worse.

Make yourself get out and connect with others. You don’t necessarily have to interact with anybody, just be around people. Go to a place where you can observe life happening: the library, the park, a coffee shop. Step out of your home, away from your thoughts and into the company of others.

Number 6. Connect

Don’t suffer alone, reach out. Message or call people you like: your best friend since high school, that crazy aunt, your neighbor who comes over with hot soup. It feels good to help others, so let your friends and people who care about you help you. You’re not selfish or weak for asking for help.

Also consider your daily habits and lifestyle. Are they isolating you or helping you build a supportive community?

Please remember, reach out. Contact a therapist, join a group, don’t be alone. You’re not.

Number 7. Your thoughts will still be there.

So take a break.

Getting out of your head and away from yourself can be the best way to gain perspective. To do this, direct your attention outwards. Distract yourself if necessary and meditate on expansion instead of restriction. Try not to focus on the depression. Step away and start focusing on small steps you can take RIGHT NOW, in this moment, to feel better.

Another alternative is to volunteer. When you’re giving your time and energy to a positive cause, you’re getting a vacation from your mind. Contributing to something bigger than your own problems and yourself moves your energy and focus away from yourself and your thoughts and onto someone/something else.

Your thoughts will still be there. You can always return, possibly with a different perspective.

Things will be OK. It can get better, and it will. Just take a break.

While you’re dancing

You’re trying to get the project finished, but for whatever reason, your goals aren’t being met. With deadlines looming, all the outcomes you had envisioned are falling short. Nothing is working. Square pegs, round holes. Everywhere. You’re dismally unhappy.

What would happen if you eased off the gas? Put forth a little less effort?

Unmet expectations can be a signal for you to divert your energy. If you’re experiencing continual let-downs and disappointments, it’s absolutely OK to step back and regroup. Is there another project where you can invest your time?

This isn’t giving up, and you’re not a failure. You’re working effectively, conserving your energy for the places pieces fall into place and where people appreciate your efforts.

The best things happen while you’re dancing.

Happy Holidays.

Time management

I have no idea how we’re expected to do everything at once. Or why we feel we must. I only know that setting priorities and saying “no” is the only real chance at any success in this department.
The big decision is what to say “no” to and what earns a “yes.”
These kinds of decisions require some framework of what you want to do. I make lists. I also set aside time each day to center myself and think about nothing (writing, reading for fun, taking long walks). Maybe your thing is running or yoga. What the thing is isn’t as important as scheduled time away from computers, phones and demands on you and your capabilities.
Making time for YOU — your dreams, your passions, your creativity — is essential in order for you to figure out the rest. Time management doesn’t occur overnight and doesn’t happen naturally for most people. But with a little bit of effort, goals will unfold in front of you.
Go get it.