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Tag: role models

The people in your life will make or break you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re running a business or trying to finish your degree. The people you surround yourself with have the power to dramatically influence your life. Their habits, what they think about themselves, whether or not they view the world as a place of abundance or scarcity — all of these things will impact you.

When I first began as a social worker in the South Bronx, I noticed not much was different from the people I worked with on probation in Colorado. Except one major thing: community resources and social support.

If you’re trying to do something great, you need great people around you. You want people who push you to do and be your best, who encourage you to take leaps when those who should most definitely NOT be in your inner circle are telling you otherwise.

Whether you’re raising a family, designing a product, fundraising, solving a company-wide problem or quitting, your closest relationships should support you in being 110% authentically you.

Everyone deserves a dream team. Yes, there are certain factors beyond your control when it comes to success and achieving goals; however, the people you spend the majority of your time with aren’t one of them. Take special care as you find your company.

Traits of true leaders

From small projects to antiquated institutions, organized groups benefit greatly from strong, reliable leadership. Yet despite the undeniable need for talented management, the skills and traits of effective leaders aren’t necessarily easy to find.
I’ve watched organizations as varied as religious institutions (think monasteries and churches), start-ups, small companies, government entities, and educational programs struggle beneath the weight of inept leadership. Whether you’re starting a business, building a corporation, or strengthening your family, look for ways to foster the following traits within your team:
Leadership Trait #1: Observation
True leaders aren’t necessarily the loudest in the room, but their actions speak volumes. They are constantly observing and gathering information from their immediate environments, looking for parallels and connections with “the bigger picture.” They consult a variety of sources to collect data and remain in contact with each level of their tribe.
Leadership Trait #2: Humility
True leaders recognize the talents of those around them. Instead of feeling jealousy or insecurity, they look for ways to encourage, delegate, and provide opportunities for the growth and development of their affiliates. Prudent leaders find — and create — ways to make their contingents better.
Leadership Trait #3: Foresight
You may walk by an empty store and wonder why it closed. A leader sees the vacant lot and envisions what might be. Leaders aren’t restricted by thinking only of what is best for today; they consider the long run and what might happen ten years from now.
Leadership Trait #4: Empowerment
Leaders foster a sense of ownership and commitment from their team through trust, responsibility, and reward. By handing off significant tasks — duties in which failure has actual consequence — leaders demonstrate trust in their squad. And with the gift of responsibility comes loyalty and dedication in return. Rewarding a job “well done” establishes feedback loops that promote respect and build work ethic within teams.

Do you know your value?

Your value is much more than a dollar amount. It’s your time, your emotional investment, your energy, your connections. It’s your life.

Your worth is not just about confidence. It’s your dreams, where you’re going, what you want. It’s knowing what you need to get there and asking for it, unapologetically and with conviction.

By recognizing your worth, you’re helping colleagues and partners understand your art and the work that you do. You’re giving permission for others to acknowledge your greatness, and you’re making it easier for them to do so. In fact, knowing your worth will make many things easier — decisions, saying no, welcoming that which brings you joy, defining roles within both personal relationships and work agreements.

The confidence you have in yourself is contagious. Understand you’re bettering others by bettering yourself.

11 ways to “pick yourself”

Seth Godin encourages us to stop waiting for that call, the publisher, that big chance, the label. We’re at a place in history where opportunities to put ourselves into the game abound. We simply must choose to play.
But let’s get real. It isn’t always easy to find a straight line from Point A to Point B. The journey is often a winding one, filled with ups and downs, frustration and enthusiasm, celebrations of triumph and moments of despair. We see the Amanda Palmers and the Jerry Weintraubs and place them in a category separate from ourselves. They have more talent. I couldn’t do what she did. I have a family to support. He has all the right connections. She had nothing to lose. We come up with excuses upon excuses, ultimately scaring ourselves away from plausible outcomes. It’s easier to toe the mark, be complacent, play it safe.
For those wanting to “pick yourself,” it can be challenging to know where to begin. Leaping from a set job description with specific duties to a blank slate in which you create your own career path seems daunting to even the most entrepreneurial among us. (Hint: running your own show rarely happens over night.)
You may be clocking hours at a 9am-5pm and fantasizing of a life in which your product/service/offering/business/time/art/talent is all your own. Give your dreams a chance. Here are 11 simple ideas to help you move in the direction of picking yourself.

  1. Write. Set aside time to ask questions, dream, think big. Put your phone on silent and set an alarm twenty minutes out.
  2. Find a mentor. Schedule a fifteen minute phone call with someone you admire. Ask about their daily schedule, where they find inspiration, what keeps them motivated. Thank them for their time.
  3. Walk. I call them Creative Walks. Go outside for forty minutes. Do not bring your phone, but do bring paper and a pen. Let your mind wander. The best ideas rarely happen when you’re sitting at a desk.
  4. Become an impresario. Organize an after-work meetup or a social gathering. Invite speakers who can add value to your project and excite your team. Orchestrate a potluck and recruit guests to moderate discussion.
  5. Contribute. Challenge yourself to speak up in your next meeting. Pose a provocative question or make an unnoticed observation. Actively participate.
  6. Be an intrapreneur. Look for a project within your company. Has no one addressed company culture? Is there an unmet need? An open opportunity?
  7. Pitch yourself. That thing you’ve always wanted to start/produce/make? Sell yourself on it.
  8. Lunch and learn. Have lunch with a colleague you don’t know very well. Seek to understand their work and job functions. Find out which projects excite them.
  9. Surprise someone. A colleague, a partner, a parent. Call them out of the blue for no particular reason, leave a card for them to discover, gift them with something thoughtful. Add unexpected meaning to their day.
  10. Book a vacation. You don’t have to spend a fortune. Go away for the weekend. Plan a day trip. Take a tent to the mountains. Break from your day-to-day and surround yourself with something different.
  11. Write a letter to your hero. Compose a letter to your role model, the person whose life you most admire. You don’t have to send it; use it as an exercise to more clearly define your wants and desires. Or send it and see what happens.

Don’t wait. Pick yourself. Today.

What are you listening to?

What record is playing in your head?

Have you written your own soundtrack? Or has someone compiled it for you?

The songs/tones/words you surround yourself with sets the tone for your life. If you’re not happy with what you’ve been hearing, make a new recording. Leave the prerecorded songs for someone else (unless they’re really THAT good).