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Tag: fear

How to write an article that goes viral

Quitting everything to go to Nepal is one of the scariest pieces I have published. I felt like a gutted fish, open and raw, when I wrote it. I had just come back from my first trip to Nepal, and I had so many thoughts swirling in my mind. I didn’t know how to share them and no one wanted to hear ALL of my stories, so I started to write. And write. And write. Writing has now become a daily compulsion.

I didn’t set out to write a viral article. I wanted to talk about what was trapped inside of me, experiences I wanted to let go of. I was a shaken can of soda and decided it was time to rip the lid off. The more I wrote, the easier it was for me to see common themes in my writings: family (lack of), love (searching for), work (wanting to do something meaningful), fear (of everything), risk (daily choices and big, lifetime decisions). I know I’m not the only one whose dreams have suffered because of one or all of these issues.

I remember counting to three before I clicked “publish.” My stomach was in knots, I had read and reread and rewritten and read again, over and over and over. I thought the post was going to ruin me. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I knew deep in my bones that I had to write. Fear wasn’t going to stop me. Intimidation wasn’t going to stop me. Lack of confidence in myself and my choices wasn’t going to stop me.

As a writer, that’s what you need to do. Tell the story that hurts, the ones that make your skin prickle. Write the lessons you’ve learned that caused you pain and made you stronger. Ignore that obnoxious voice that whispers you’re not good enough, experienced enough, smart enough, important enough. Tell that voice to go to hell and write. Rip the lid off and write. Readers don’t want prefabricated lines. Give them YOU — your honest, messy, unrefined self.

A recipe for finding answers

Go someplace quiet
Where you are truly alone
Turn off everything
Your phone, especially
And sit
Listen to your thoughts
Five minutes
Where does your mind take you
Ten minutes
Where does your heart take you
Fifteen minutes
What do you really, really want?
Be still
Be quiet
Repeat once a week (at least!)
And watch your life unfold

When DENIED doesn’t matter

Recently, I’ve been receiving a lot of “No’s.” The proposals and emails I’m sending are falling flat, and my inbox is filled with rejections and denials.

Denial

I could let these responses discourage me, but I’m not. I’m using them as fuel. Like my friend Jodi says, “Care enough to push past the ‘No’.”

Rejection doesn’t have to mean failure; it can be a wonderful teacher. Jodi once set out to be rejected by 100 people in one week. Instead of feeling disheartened by negative responses, she only felt confident and more certain. She also raised money for five scholarships in the process.

Care enough to keep going, even if other people doubt your abilities or ideas.

6 tips to become a better public speaker

Public speaking isn’t something to fear. With practice, presentations can connect you more deeply to your clients and your work and can even teach you new lessons about yourself. Use these tips to ace your next event, whether you’re toasting at a dinner party or pitching to an investor.

  1. Be honest. If you’re faking or pretending, people will know. Tell a personal story that’s relevant. Your emotion will come through and resonate with your listeners.
  2. Invest in your audience. This means you’ve taken the time to learn about them; you’ve taken time to think through their challenges, their struggles and their goals so you can cater your message accordingly. Look them in the eye. Show them you care.
  3. Practice. Write your speech and say it out loud. Notice sections that feel awkward and find the natural pauses and rhythms in your talk. When you get nervous, you’ll want to speak quickly. Take a deep breath. The more you practice, the more control you’ll have over your cadence.
  4. Watch others. Observe what draws you to certain speakers and repels you from others. What do they do? How do they do it? What draws you to what they are saying?
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect. Your humanness is what makes you interesting. Use mistakes to regain focus and concentrate on your main point. See if you can reduce your talk to one or two themes and keep these in your mind as you move forward. Relax and be yourself.
  6. Keep it simple. Sometimes the best messages are simply stated: they’re not overly complex or detailed, they’re not filled with graphics or images or slideshows. Work with a coach or trusted friend to pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses and remember: a personal experience can often mean more than any rehearsed oration.

Have more tips to share? What has made your speaking great? Did you fail (and what did you learn)? Tweet me @redhedlefthand.

Relax, everything is going to be OK

If you knew everything would be OK, would you spend more time with your close friends? Take more time for yourself? Eat differently? Leave the office earlier?

If you knew the outcome would be OK, would you relax, ease up? Work harder?

How would your strategy change?

If everything was going to be OK, would you save more? Worry less? Sleep at night?

Of course there’s a chance it won’t be. If you’re doing work that’s risky and creative, you’re pushing edges. Emotions become linked with success and failure, and instability tests resolve.

Ease into it. You might surprise yourself by worrying less and making different choices. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re in a funk (31 ways to destroy a bad mood)

  1. Go sit in a different room.
  2. Take 5 minutes to be quiet and still (turn off your phone, set an alarm if you must).
  3. Walk outside.
  4. Search for your favorite artist’s playlist on youtube.
  5. Invest in an essential oil you love. Two drops can do wonders.
  6. Write a list of 5 things you are thankful for in this moment.
  7. Treat yourself (massage, cupcake, small gift).
  8. Make a salad with ingredients you pick up from a farmers’ market.
  9. Play with an animal.
  10. Browse the shelves in your local bookstore.
  11. Go to/from your office using a new route, even if it takes longer.
  12. Listen to an interesting or inspiring podcast.
  13. Do yoga at home.
  14. Watch a movie at the theater.
  15. Send a message to a friend.
  16. Write yourself a letter.
  17. Place fresh cut flowers in your home.
  18. Step outside and listen for birds.
  19. Find shapes in clouds.
  20. Draw, paint, color, glue, build, hammer, stitch.
  21. Plant something.
  22. “Guilty pleasure.” Everyone has one; indulge yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
  23. Write a new bucket list. List dreams that get you excited.
  24. Don’t do anything. Focus on your breathing. Yes, doing nothing is actually fine.
  25. Take a nap. Not getting enough sleep is proven to impact mental health.
  26. Dance. Doesn’t matter what you look like. Turn up your favorite tune, close the curtains and stomp it out.
  27. Burn regrets. Those decisions weighing you down? Write them out. You can sit with that paper for twenty minutes, then light a match to it.
  28. Stay off social media. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Go one day without logging online and see how you feel.
  29. Read. Return an old favorite or ask a friend for recommendations.
  30. Do one thing you’ve never done before. Doesn’t matter what it is — dance class, open mic, an online course. Try something different.
  31. Make plans. Big or small, a trip to another country or a lunch date, get something on the calendar that you can look forward to.