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Tag: fear

Depression, mood and what you can do

Last year, around 15.7 million adults experienced at least one major depressive episode; this is about 6.7% of the American population. Anyone who has been there knows once you’re in, you’re in. A dark, downward spiral takes over and it’s difficult to climb out. Depression and anxiety paralyzes even perceptive, bright minds and can kill creative endeavors.

In these moments, it feels almost impossible to think about any benefits or plus sides. Yet during these dips and lulls, there are strategies to be learned and tools to pick up to help fight these dark monsters when and if they return.

I’m listing what has helped me. It’s a long road, and I’m grateful for the caring coaches and counselors and friends and mentors who have helped along the way. I hope some of these tips can also help a few of my friends, no matter where you are in the world or what you’re dealing with. Please know you’re not alone.

Number 1: Return to basics

During periods of depression, basic human needs tend to get out of whack. Some people sleep all day while others can’t sleep at all. It’s important to try to establish a regular schedule and routine. Aim for 7-9 hours each night and try to be awake when the sun is out. Even if you’re tempted to take naps, get outside and soak in some rays, they’re good for you and carry Vitamin D.

Try to eliminate or cut down stimulants. Coffee, sugar, drugs and alcohol give you a temporary high and make you feel good for a moment, but when the effect wears off, you’re left feeling even more drained and tired than before.

From my own experiences working with and counseling clients, I’ve noticed that people who suffer from depression tend to be quite sensitive: emotionally and physically. Take care of yourself from the inside out.

Number 2. What are you eating?

Choose to eat healthfully whenever and wherever you can. Whole foods are unprocessed and contain more vitamins and minerals that help boost moods. Again, sweets and alcohol can be tempting for a temporary high, but your blood sugar levels will crash and can push you further downwards.

Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can make everything worse, so put the junk food away and reach for greens, veggies and whole grains. (Omega-3s have been shown to fight depression.)

Number 3. Get moving

Exercise revs up endorphins, helping you feel better as you move. Walking, stretching, going to the gym — it doesn’t matter, as long as it works for you. Be good to your “Earth Suit.”

Number 4. Look up (and around)

Take a moment to think about the triggers that feed your depression and create anxiety.

Facebook? Surfing the net? Watching episode upon episode of TV shows? Staying in the house all day? Talking about certain people? Eating certain meals? Limit these energy suckers and replace them with creative activities:

  • go for a walk
  • volunteer
  • dig around in the garden
  • visit a local bookstore

Make a list of what makes you feel GOOD. These don’t have to be elaborate, expensive activities. Things like:

  • light a candle
  • listen to music
  • visit the farmer’s market
  • call a friend
  • take a class
  • read a book

are easy, cheap and instant mood boosters.

Number 5. Are you independent?

Many people who struggle with depression are powerhouses. They’re capable, strong and fearless. But being too much alone can make depression worse.

Make yourself get out and connect with others. You don’t necessarily have to interact with anybody, just be around people. Go to a place where you can observe life happening: the library, the park, a coffee shop. Step out of your home, away from your thoughts and into the company of others.

Number 6. Connect

Don’t suffer alone, reach out. Message or call people you like: your best friend since high school, that crazy aunt, your neighbor who comes over with hot soup. It feels good to help others, so let your friends and people who care about you help you. You’re not selfish or weak for asking for help.

Also consider your daily habits and lifestyle. Are they isolating you or helping you build a supportive community?

Please remember, reach out. Contact a therapist, join a group, don’t be alone. You’re not.

Number 7. Your thoughts will still be there.

So take a break.

Getting out of your head and away from yourself can be the best way to gain perspective. To do this, direct your attention outwards. Distract yourself if necessary and meditate on expansion instead of restriction. Try not to focus on the depression. Step away and start focusing on small steps you can take RIGHT NOW, in this moment, to feel better.

Another alternative is to volunteer. When you’re giving your time and energy to a positive cause, you’re getting a vacation from your mind. Contributing to something bigger than your own problems and yourself moves your energy and focus away from yourself and your thoughts and onto someone/something else.

Your thoughts will still be there. You can always return, possibly with a different perspective.

Things will be OK. It can get better, and it will. Just take a break.

Stop trying to find your passion; do something nice for someone instead.

There’s a lot of pressure out there to “do meaningful work,” “find your bliss” and “unleash your passion.” We’re lucky to live in a time and place where we have the opportunity to make choices; choices about where we work, who we work for, what we do to make money, who we date, where we buy groceries, what we learn, which book to read.
The decisions we face on a daily basis are countless; oftentimes, overwhelming. Undergraduates stress over which major to declare; the seasoned professional has multiple job offers on the table and doesn’t know which one to pick. Like the grocery store aisle with boxes upon boxes of cereal, it’s easy to go with the tried-tested-and-true or to simply, walk away. This paradox of choice can leave us stale, uninspired, imprisoned.
Today, throw it out the window: the pro/con lists, the should’s and must’s, the cost-benefit analysis and the What Will They Think Of Me insecurities. Just for today, put yourself on the sidelines and place someone else before you. It doesn’t have to be a huge, grandiose gesture. Be kind.
Volunteer. Read to a child. Surprise someone with flowers. Pack a lunch for a co-worker.
For more ideas, including buying coffee for the next person in line or supporting an entrepreneur in a developing country, click here.

Ignore them

There’s always a comment. No matter how great your effort is, how flawless your work, someone can do it better.
They’re whispering, “Your competitor is further along. Another company has edged you out this quarter. Her work is getting more publicity, more recognition.”
You’re spending time reading comments. “His project is scoring more funding. They’re getting all the sales.”
It doesn’t matter.
Keep on and stay the course. (It’s your course and your course alone. Not theirs.)
Do your best work, no matter what they say.

Mistakes

Screw ups. Everyone makes them. They’re part of the creative process, embedded into music, wired into our brain. So why is it so difficult to let go of them?

Redefining “mistake” turns dirt into gold. When you trade in unrealistic expectations and begin to cherish the unexpected, you gain valuable opportunities and news ways of seeing the world around you.

Tweet me: How do you define mistakes? What have you learned from them? Have you been surprised by an imperfect outcome or erroneous decision?

Odds

fail try fail try try try SUCCESS fail fail fail try almost try try try made it try fail try SUCCESS try fail try SUCCESS try fail fail try almost made it try fail try SUCCESS try try try try SUCCESS fail SUCCESS fail try SUCCESS fail fail fail try try fail try fail try fail SUCCESS try try almost try SUCCESS made it fail fail fail try try fail almost try try fail try fail SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS fail try try try try try try SUCCESS try fail try fail try made it try fail fail try try SUCCESS try almost try try try fail try SUCCESS

(Try often, fail often, and your odds of winning increase. You never know when you’re going to hit.)

 

 

“Live a story.”

I saw this written on a climber’s memorial along the trail to Mount Everest. It haunted me as I walked the ridges leading to Base Camp. Mostly, it got me thinking about the story I was telling. I wasn’t sure if the way I was living was leaving a legacy. I certainly wasn’t convinced I’d be missed.
What’s beautiful about stories is they are always changing. Like a river, our lives encounter different obstacles that can reroute our course. If we remain open to possibility, there’s no limit to the chapters to be written.
I’m grateful I found the guts to quit, even when it felt like stepping off a ledge. I made a few bargains with chance and risk, shook hands with disappointment and failure, but I knew it was part of the deal. I did it because I wanted to see what was on the other side.
No, I’m not immune to anxiety and black confusion. I am refusing to let either get the best of me. Instead, I’m clawing my way towards the unexpected, and it’s taking me down paths of problem solving and giving.
Everyone is writing their story as they go. Listen, and share yours.