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Tag: connection

While you’re dancing

You’re trying to get the project finished, but for whatever reason, your goals aren’t being met. With deadlines looming, all the outcomes you had envisioned are falling short. Nothing is working. Square pegs, round holes. Everywhere. You’re dismally unhappy.

What would happen if you eased off the gas? Put forth a little less effort?

Unmet expectations can be a signal for you to divert your energy. If you’re experiencing continual let-downs and disappointments, it’s absolutely OK to step back and regroup. Is there another project where you can invest your time?

This isn’t giving up, and you’re not a failure. You’re working effectively, conserving your energy for the places pieces fall into place and where people appreciate your efforts.

The best things happen while you’re dancing.

Happy Holidays.

Shortcuts

I’ve worked with monks, criminals, CEOs and students, and they all look for shortcuts. This is why hacks are popular and fitness gurus sell health in pill form and “5-minute exercises.” Numbered blog posts receive more web traffic than developed stories because we want information fast. We don’t have time to sift through inconsequential paragraphs; tell me what I need to know and tell it to me now.

This, to me, is human. We want the quickest, most direct path. We want to learn without putting in time. We want money to come without stress and long hours. We want recognition right after a product launches, and we want to know our destiny instead of watching it slowly unfurl.

While shortcuts help us save time and do work more efficiently, there’s much to be gained from slow, calculated movement.

12 questions to get past small talk and find out what really matters at networking events

Gone are the days where weather, food and family are the only acceptable topics of discussion at networking events. People yearn for connection and crave something that makes them feel alive.

The people who attract strangers at a party lure with conversations of quality, not quantity. These individuals are passionate, focused and giving, and speaking to them can challenge and inspire you to become your best self.

(You, too, can become one of these people!)

Consider the following questions for your next social engagement:

1. What inspires you?
2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?
3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?
5. What does your perfect day look like?
6. What would “your book” be about?
7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?
8. What are you afraid of?
9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?
10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?
11. Where are you stuck?
12. How can I help?

Click here to read 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk, originally posted on May 7, 2013.

3 things I learned starting a social enterprise in Nepal

Yesterday I had the honor of addressing attendees of Skövde Business Week. I presented my experiences founding the Learning House, a center devoted to education, leadership and community in Western Nepal. To hear my full talk, click this link.
I believe “A rising tide lifts all boats.” I don’t think scientific research is needed to show that more educated and competent citizens lead to more talented business recruits who in turn create better, more effective businesses. Getting the tide to rise is the difficult part.
My work has taught me the following:

  1. Travel through life curious.
  2. Extend yourself to another.
  3. Ask questions.

When we become fixed on an end result, we tend to lose beautiful opportunities along the way. Had I not allowed myself to explore Nepal, to be open to promise and potential and brokenness, I would have missed some truly profound moments. Since arriving in 2013, I have seen many volunteers come and go; some are so focused on their defined role as Volunteer Teacher they fail to look beyond designated responsibilities and connect with the people they came to serve in the first place.
We dig trenches around ourselves. They’re deepened by societal roles and professional delegations. Our personal selves and true passions become hidden from colleagues, friends, even our families. The irony is that when we move beyond these lines and reach out to each other, we forge meaningful relationships and experience life more deeply. This is when we win.
Finally, ask questions. Your colleague, your neighbor, your grandmother, your client. Who are they? Where are they going? Can you help? It’s impossible to solve problems and brainstorm solutions without taking time to listen. The most successful companies (and people!) are the ones listening — and they’re shifting, giving, adapting and changing in ways that show they care.

You have something precious

Several months ago I had the pleasure of speaking on the ChapterBe podcast. I talked about how I ended up in Nepal and lessons I’ve learned along the way. It was a great interview, punctuated with street dogs barking in the background.

The podcast highlights stories of people living across the globe who have made a commitment to live authentically, passionately, and with conviction. I was honored to be included.

We all have unique skills and stories that lead us down winding, magical roads. From the moment we wake up until our heads again find rest, our bodies are catapulted across spectacular terrain. Mothers feed families and dream of their children’s futures, fathers are forced to make decisions based upon their own life challenges, sons dare to become better than their parents, and daughters fight to turn dreams into reality.

My point is this: the lessons you’ve learned and the challenges you’ve overcome could help someone else facing a similar predicament. Have the courage to share.

Stop trying to find your passion; do something nice for someone instead.

There’s a lot of pressure out there to “do meaningful work,” “find your bliss” and “unleash your passion.” We’re lucky to live in a time and place where we have the opportunity to make choices; choices about where we work, who we work for, what we do to make money, who we date, where we buy groceries, what we learn, which book to read.
The decisions we face on a daily basis are countless; oftentimes, overwhelming. Undergraduates stress over which major to declare; the seasoned professional has multiple job offers on the table and doesn’t know which one to pick. Like the grocery store aisle with boxes upon boxes of cereal, it’s easy to go with the tried-tested-and-true or to simply, walk away. This paradox of choice can leave us stale, uninspired, imprisoned.
Today, throw it out the window: the pro/con lists, the should’s and must’s, the cost-benefit analysis and the What Will They Think Of Me insecurities. Just for today, put yourself on the sidelines and place someone else before you. It doesn’t have to be a huge, grandiose gesture. Be kind.
Volunteer. Read to a child. Surprise someone with flowers. Pack a lunch for a co-worker.
For more ideas, including buying coffee for the next person in line or supporting an entrepreneur in a developing country, click here.