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Tag: choices

Inconvenience yourself.

New Yorkers and scheduling is borderline ridiculous. I spend more time than I care to admit orchestrating calendars, slotting calls, finding common days for in-person meetings. While there are plenty of automated tools to streamline this process, I’ve found that each person’s needs and requests are very different, and the act of scheduling itself can reveal underlying issues. Each day I’m forced to reassess my priorities and make decisions accordingly.

Yet with all of this scheduling and compartmentalizing, is there space for magic?

We spend so much time making sure things go according to plan. If something falls through the cracks, it’s a fault in the system — our system. The slightest tip of the scale can throw off an entire day, delaying planned meetings and cramping scheduled “me” time. Minor inconveniences (a late train, a forgotten document) suddenly become huge problems.

Ever pause to evaluate whether your intense regimen is adding to your anxiety rather than helping? Consider your definition of inconvenience and flirt with alternatives.

What would happen if you intentionally take the later train, let someone step in front of you, choose the slowest checkout line?

 

United by insecurity

No matter where your office is located, the ceiling can fall down. You don’t know when, but one day it will. There is even a possibility a car drives through your living room tonight while you’re sleeping.
We’ve done a great job fooling ourselves into believing we have it all figured out. We’ve worked hard to create predictable outcomes, studying to become masters of our environment. Data is plugged into spreadsheets, and dollars are spent on analyzing trends. Months are mapped out in advance. Calendars are scheduled to the minute. The year becomes a series of data points and action plans.
A soft mirage of familiarity has blanketed our world, producing a certain emotional numbness. We pick and choose what we want to feel. We pad ourselves from life with cars, TV shows, deadlines, large houses filled with things. The moment loneliness or vulnerability hits, we reach for our cell phones.
The irony is in all of this control and safety-making, we crave surprise and excitement. The tales of unpredictability are the ones we tell our friends. We sign up for marathons and Tough Mudders to feel something, to show the scrapes on our knees bearing witness of our participation. “Look at me, I’m living life!”
The moment you witness these tendencies is the moment you come alive. When you no longer cling to guarantees and you live in the challenge of each moment with nothing to hide.
This isn’t recklessness, it’s awareness. Some call it “mindful living,” the ability to observe what is happening as it happens. It’s not a need to know all of the answers but rather being in tune with the textures of your experience. It’s seeing the present for what it is, not what you wish for or as a result of what happened yesterday.
I often hear this question: “What’s next?”
I believe my flexibility in providing this answer has made my life what it is.
How wonderful it is to not know the answer.

Stop trying to find your purpose

We spend so much time searching.

The One, The Job, The House, The Car, The Experience, The Feeling, The Plan, The Salary, The Product, The Idea, The Connector, The Client, The Bargain, The Title, The Brand…

We’re looking for answers, assuming that once we find That Thing, the result we want will magically appear (happiness, success, love, fortune, fame, ease, contentment).

What if you stopped looking. Stay with me for a moment.

In Western Society, we’re taught that “A” action yields “B” outcome. So if I input X, Y, Z,  ___ should follow, right? (You fill in the blank.)

What if you channeled all of that energy you’re investing into finding That Thing towards your passion, instead? What if your excitement became the compass for your decision-making?

Chances are “your purpose” will appear when you’re not looking; not necessarily when you least expect it — because you’ll already be following your heart’s desires and will be so invested in your life and your work and giving to others that you’ll forget you were looking in the first place. Same goes for love.

Think of it less as a a fixed feeling or pre-defined experience and more as a rolling, morphing adventure.

What if the goal was to fail?

What if your goal was to experience rejection, to quit?

What if you set out trying to find twenty new ways of getting shot down, of hearing “No, thanks” at least fifteen times in one day?

What if your aim wasn’t to wildly succeed or sell the most product or to get everyone to like you?

What if you turned the graph upside down and thought of creative ways to beat everyone to the bottom?

What if you truly said fuck it and stopped watching numbers and started listening to your heart, your excitement, your passion instead?

Are you developing a marketing strategy or being real?

I wrote my first post on Medium this week. Before clicking “Publish,” I was surprisingly nervous. I think because this writing is very personal, an experience that is dear to my heart and involves people I love. I almost didn’t post it.

I had no idea it would impact and resonate with so many people. I’m talking just under 10k views in less than one week.

We spend so much time trying to come up with the right strategy, the right product, company, tagline or press relationship in order to reach many people. Maybe instead we should focus on being real…and simply living.

The last few months of my life have shown me that if you follow your heart and live authentically in the world, you’ll end up right where you need to be.

A New Year is a great time to start.

Give more, receive more

When we are stingy with our resources, or operate from a “scarcity mentality,” we block our own potential (and that of those around us). Giving to others creates an energy exchange that can propel you towards success and deeper layers of living.
The holiday season is a perfect time to test this generosity theory. Conduct an experiment and observe the ways in which you benefit by giving:

  • Find an organization that could benefit from your volunteer work
  • Buy coffee for the next person in line
  • Encourage an entrepreneur in a developing country
  • Clean out your closet and donate lightly worn clothes to a nearby shelter
  • Bake goodies and bring them to a neighbor
  • Support local farmers by giving the gift of a CSA box
  • Plug the parking meter of the car next to you
  • Invite a small group of friends to join you for dinner

Within your network, there are individuals who will benefit from meeting each other. We have tools and devices at our fingertips to connect and unite layers of talents. But there’s also the good-ol-fashioned telephone…
Generosity doesn’t need to be restricted to the holidays, but it’s a great time to start.