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Tag: awareness

Your time directs your focus

The way in which you spend your time narrows your focus. What you think about, the choices you make, the schedule you follow — all of these daily decisions add up to who you are today.
Have you asked yourself who you’d like to be?
It is worth finding quiet space and taking time to answer this question honestly and searchingly. The answer might require some hard moves, perhaps major adjustments, but you owe it to yourself to ask: Is the path I am on the right one for me?
Your life depends on it, and the world benefits when you are your truest self.

“Good enough.”

Every hour you are faced with choices that force you to evaluate and re-evaluate your priorities. Often you have to say no to others, disappointing them and maybe even yourself.
How do you judge yourself when you take on different roles? Is your inner voice harsh or condescending?
Your perspective is more than likely more critical than of those around you. What would you say to a friend taking on your same sets of responsibilities and challenges?
You don’t always have to knock it out of the park or take on every fire. Do the best you can.
You are enough.

If it is worth doing, you’ll want to quit

“Should I quit or hang in there?” is a question that will accompany any worthwhile project. If you’re not tested, the work probably isn’t on path towards the success you’re hoping for.

“Never quit something with great long-term potential just because you can’t deal with the stress of the moment.” –Seth Godin, The Dip

You will feel tested. You will be challenged. You will want to quit.
Decide the circumstances that are acceptable to quit and hold yourself to those guidelines. When work becomes hard, great rewards are usually on the other side. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term gain.

To fall in love, do this:

A few years ago, a NYTimes piece lured readers with the secret to relational bliss. The author detailed her personal experience based on psychological research claiming to make two strangers fall in love. By asking intimate questions and demanding two individuals spend quality time together — even holding each other’s gaze for four minutes — the pair were believed to cement a relationship.

Of course, relationships take time and care and persistent, almost stubborn commitment. But at the heart of two people choosing to share life and love is curiosity. Curiosity about your partner’s preferences and dreams. Questions that dare to journey beyond the superficial: goals and fears and heartache and hopes.

Not sure where to begin? These 36 questions can help you get started. Or listen to the original NYTimes piece on the Modern Love podcast.

Confrontation and rejection: an opportunity

Confrontation and rejection are both uncomfortable, unpleasant situations that no one likes to encounter. Those with a less developed sense of self may interpret confrontation or rejection as a hit to their ego, their self-esteem dependent upon approval and positive feedback from others. As life begins to deal more social situations (and success), rejection matters less. The sting of disapproval doesn’t hold as much weight, and a healthier attitude towards potentially unkind situations develops. In fact, people who learn to deal with rejection and confrontation realize that these unpleasant circumstances are part of life, and to avoid them would create an insulating boundary that would limit the magic of living. These people accept that they won’t be a match for everyone and that this impossible expectation is too heavy a load to carry.

The first rejections are always the hardest to hear. When you begin to face the fear and anxiety of negative situations with a more positive attitude, the experience changes. The power of rejection lessens, and valuable learnings can be gained in potentially troubling situations. Conflict often isn’t as bad as we rehearse it in our own mind.

Scared of letting your feelings and emotions known? Practice first, by writing them down. Write down what you hope to say and explain how you feel. Dealing with confrontation and rejection is an essential skill no matter your line of work. Taking time to gather your thoughts before entering a charged situation will empower you to remain grounded and present when emotions run high.

The power of sadness

Life can throw curveballs. Disappointments can destroy the strongest resolve, even the most focused among us shaken by a series of bad luck and failure. Like fire, heartache can spread.

Yet too often it is easy (and in the most difficult darkness, completely forgivable) to forget the positive, creative power of sadness and grief.

Instead of trying to distinguish or contain this anguish, use it. Find the cause worth caring about. Solve impossible problems. Turn fury and rage into calculable action and make your tears count for something.