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Category: Observations

Takeaways from two weeks of “Positive Talk”

14 people from around the world signed up to join me in a small experiment: For two weeks, I would commit to daily discussions focused on Good Things.

I spoke with Italians, Brits, folks in the United States, Sweden, and Nepal. On some days I had to talk myself up for the session; other days I looked forward to thirty minutes of positivity.

At the beginning of each call, I asked participants to rank themselves on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 for on-the-floor depression and 10 for something close to contagious joy). At the end of our call, I asked for another self-ranking. 12 out of the 14 participants reported an increase in positive feelings. The other two reported no change, having already reported high levels of feeling. I, too, found myself feeling better at the end of the calls.

But beyond feeling better, I felt seen. Those thirty minutes became a plug-in of support, encouragement, and connection. Many participants echoed battles with imposter syndrome — “Am I good enough, capable enough, strong enough, ready enough, productive enough, gentle enough, prepared enough?” Time management was another expressed hurdle, but it was rephrased as a goal that could be conquered.

And in all of these calls, it became clear that even when the world seems upside down, we have the ability to write our own narratives. We have the choice to fall into old, self-sabotaging coping strategies or tap into traits that can set us up for something greater. We can choose to see ourselves through a compassionate lens, or we can cling to memories that no longer apply. Our stories can become ones of curiosity and growth.

There’s no telling when or if things will return to “normal.” This experiment, however, reminded me there are many things still in our control. We can make time to connect, and we can train our minds to focus on creation, empathy, and compassion — for ourselves and for others. I’m thankful to all those who participated in this experiment with me.

Try for yourself: Set a calendar of participants (ask friends, family, and colleagues), keep a journal of notes, and record pre- and post- rankings for each call. Let me know how it goes.

Who is glamorous?

Glamour isn’t limited to the rich or famous. And it certainly isn’t restricted to fashion, the latest gadgets, jet-setters, or a particular brand of car.

In fact, glamour is essential to attracting what you want, both in business and in life. Infusing your life with glamour brings more serendipity, more passion, and a lot more fun.

What is glamour?

Glamour is mystery. It is grace. It is an energy that requires courage and an element of risk. Glamour demands that you see yourself — and the world around you — as limitless. That each day you walk out the door and wonder what might happen. That you look for opportunity, instead of focusing on lack.

Glamour is desire. And desire leads to stories, surprise, and magic. These things often accompany happiness. Happy people are magnets.

Can I become glamorous?

First you must decide the kind of life you want. And then you must take steps to make it happen.

  1. Weave excitement into your day. Set freshly cut flowers onto a windowsill, crack open a bottle of Chianti, handwrite a note of gratitude, spritz your briefcase or backpack or bag with an energizing scent…
  2. Add mystery. Share enough to intrigue and inspire others, but don’t give too much away. Save some for yourself.
  3. Prioritize details. Edit your life as necessary. Remove excess.
  4. Limit stress. Cultivate calm.
  5. Get intentional. Surround yourself with new ideas, art, creativity, and uplifting conversations.
  6. Be bold. Declare who you are, set your own trends, and let your unique appeal shine.
  7. Fall in love. Find something to fall in love with. Every day. People who are in love are captivating. People who love life inspire others to do the same.
  8. Celebrate. Find reasons to celebrate, no matter how “trivial” they might seem.

Life will be as magical or as dull as you allow it to be.

H/T Tonya Leigh

A different lens

So much of life and the way in which we interpret day-to-day interactions is a matter of perspective. Sometimes the best choice we can make is to take a step back and consider our current situation from a different lens.

How can you shift perspective?

Awareness

Set aside time each week to take stock and reflect on the changes you want to make and the goals you have yet to achieve. When we focus on overarching themes, challenges and daily decisions are set into their rightful place.

Evaluation

Where are you headed and are you walking in the right direction? Are you getting the results you want?

Honesty

Chores, calendar schedules, and to-do lists are great productivity tools, but they can just as easily serve as energy leaks, distracting from your most important goals.

Intention

Remind yourself what really matters. Change perspective when necessary. A different lens might help.

Who are you watching?

Check your browser history. Which sites claim most of your time? What pages are you visiting regularly? Whose stories do you tap? And when do you stop scrolling?

The people you watch, the photos you admire, the videos you pull up — they all say something about who you are and who you aspire to be. Notice where you are directing your energy and focus.

Time is currency. Spend wisely.

What is your ROI?

What if more time to create is more valuable than being busy?

If fewer appointments means you’re killing it?

If a handful of quality contacts is a better value add than a list of unknown names?

If an increase in daily smiles means you’re on fire?

If having fun at work isn’t an exception but your norm?

If more “likes” and more engagements happen offline?

If your stats and monitoring include an emotional, or even a spiritual, component?

If you schedule monthly check-ins not only with your team members but also with friends and family?

Entrepreneurship has become woven with unhealthy beliefs that may not necessarily serve you. Take stock over your definitions of success and have the courage to investigate what kind of ROI you’re wanting to achieve.

The difference between an amateur and a professional

An amateur hopes a goal will happen. The professional sets a goal then works backwards.

An amateur cuts with words. Professionals look for ways to raise their own game while lifting others alongside them.

An amateur relies on hope. The professional acts and demonstrates results.

The amateur seeks attention. The professional graciously accepts accolades, then continues to focus on the work.

An amateur always plays victim. The professional acknowledges missteps and learns from mistakes.

Amateurs operate from a scarcity mentality. Professionals are generous.

An amateur puts in a little work and expects instant results. The professional plays the long game, day in and day out, sometimes without pay, knowing that rewards will come.

An amateur is impatient, reactive, and compulsive. Professionals ground themselves, reflect, and listen.

Amateurs alienate themselves. True professionals know the value and importance of relationships.

An amateur speaks of people. The professional would rather work, plan, dream, and create.

Amateurs fail to set boundaries and struggle to ask for their worth. Professionals are kind, but firm, and aren’t afraid to ask for what they need.

An amateur rarely has routine. Professionals schedule days with intention.

To learn more about becoming a professional, I recommend Steven Pressfield’s Turning Pro. This free ebook is also a great place to start if you’re looking to turn amateur habits into professional ones.