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Tag: storytelling

A coffee riddle

Which costs more?

Coffee #1

Before you reach the counter, a wide grin flashes at the sight of your arrival. You’re greeted, “Hello! How are you, sister?”  and asked if you’ll have your usual order — black coffee with sugar, no milk.
As your coffee is prepared, you settle in at the table overlooking the outdoor market. There are three additional chairs surrounding the table; sometimes you’re joined by others. Today you’ve brought a newspaper along, but your eyes dart from its pages to the women buying fresh vegetables and men catching up on local gossip.
A small porcelain cup is carried on a saucer and placed in front of you. The woman asks about your day, your family, your friends. When you’re ready to leave, a friendly “See you again soon!” accompanies your change.

Coffee #2

You wait in a line of patrons nervously checking cellphones and eagerly scanning a large billboard of beverage choices. At the front of the queue, the cashier grumbles for orders. “What can I get you?”
After you hand over payment, you step aside to wait in an additional line for your black coffee. Collecting your paper cup, you advance to a separate counter to retrieve sugar packets for your brew. Though you’d like to sit, all tables are full — some occupied by lone individuals — and you decide to leave, having hardly made eye contact or uttered more than a few words.

Which coffee would you pay more for?

Successful businesses offer an experience, a connection. They provide moments that allow the customer to step away from “life” just long enough to return changed (or inspired) in some way.
Note: The coffee described in the first scenario actually costs much, much less than the second; $0.20 USD compared to $1.78 USD. Write me if you’d like to learn more.

Write a research paper: a lesson in empathy

During the past week, I’ve taught my most advanced students how to write a research paper (for more about my time in Nepal, visit here and here). The sixteen- and seventeen-year-old monks have never heard the term research before, and words such as “references,” “introduction,” “outline,” and “conclusion” are new additions to their vocabulary.

When I first explained their assignment, their charming smiles hid their bewilderment. As I despondently watched one student copy paragraphs directly from his grade-school English book, I realized my lesson wasn’t well received. I was quickly reminded of the importance of empathic communication.

In attempting to describe the purpose of writing and the value of communicating opinion, I’ve had to consider what already exists in their world. What might help them understand the (already challenging!) writing process? I’ve drummed up analogies such as making sandwiches (“Your introduction and conclusion is like bread. You need meat in the middle for a tasty sandwich!”) and playing soccer (“The introduction is the kick-off, when the whistle blows. Your conclusion is putting the ball in the back of the net. Goal!”). I’ve asked my wide-eyed students, “What do you want someone to remember after they’ve read your writing?”

The process has reminded me of flexible thinking, the ability to consider another’s world view, and the universal demand for effective communication.

The next time you find yourself frustrated and struggling to get your point across, pause for a moment to see if there is another way to convey your message.

The medium is only half of the art. The interpretation is the rest.

My top 6 fundraising tips

When I signed up to raise $9,000 for the Discover Outdoors Foundation, I figured it was going to be work, but I didn’t realize how much. Fundraising is hard. Really, really hard. And it takes more time and effort than you think. A few things I learned:

1. This will be a focused commitment.

You’re fooling yourself if you think people will simply hand over money. They will, but it’s because they love you and/or believe in YOU. You’re going to need all of them — and more — to champion your cause.
Your goal will not happen by itself. Set realistic expectations regarding what you and your team are capable of. It helps to set deadlines with an actionable timeline to make sure you’re on track. Think of it as a battle strategy. You don’t go to war without considering what makes sense first.

2. You have to have tough skin.

You will hear “no.”
When you do, you can let it sting, but you can’t let it stop you. You have to get over rejection.
Most of the time, you will hear nothing. You may need to ask once, twice, three times before someone is receptive to your message. People are busy. Your email may not be on their priority list. They may read your email and think it’s not for them (really). Yes, there is a fine line between sending too many emails and not enough, but you can’t be afraid to find it.
One surprising thing I discovered: some people are jealous. It’s weird, but when you’re doing a good thing and feel energetic and are helping others, there are people who are reminded of what they are not doing and what their life isn’t. Ignore them.
You will find a small group of people who want to see you succeed. They will champion your cause, be your biggest fans. You will need them; they will become your lifeblood. In the moments you want to quit, get carried away by their enthusiasm.

3. Get creative.

The majority of people won’t care. These are the folks you have to work to convert. In order to do so, you can’t say the same thing over and over. You have to mix it up, tell a new story, highlight a new angle, emphasize progress. Keep newsflashes relevant and share updates on not only your fundraising efforts but also the cause you’re supporting.
Research and use the tool that works best for you (Causes, Indiegogo, Kickstarter, Crowdrise). Your social media channels can amplify your efforts, but don’t restrict your creativity to one particular platform. Take it offline through events: happy hours, bake-offs, MYO pizza parties, lawn mowing services…

4. Get personal.

You can’t be afraid to bring your own story into the equation. What is your relationship to the project? Why are you committed? By sharing your enthusiasm, folks will better be able to relate to your efforts and will want to support you in your work. And every new person you meet? Tell them about your project. Mention your fundraising when asked about your work. People feel more inclined to support excitement and passion they witness firsthand.
Your personal story is a good part of what draws in a potential donor. Think of yourself as a magnet.

5. It is not possible to say thank you enough.

People are going out of their way to listen to your message, learn about your cause, and ultimately, choose to back your work. This is not a little thing and deserves much recognition.
Thank each and every individual for their support as many ways as you can (once is probably not enough). Gratitude will keep the momentum behind your project strong. When someone feels recognized and cherished, they will feel more inclined to share your cause with their networks.

6. Build a team.

If you do it right, fundraising is an opportunity to build community, not just raise money. People want to feel part of something. They want to feel connected to you and your success. Involve them throughout the journey and make sure they feel part of the ride. When you win, you win as a team. Go get ’em!

It’s easy to hide

We’re exposed now more than ever before.

Our steps are easily trackable, our buying decisions traceable with the click of a mouse. We document our lives on film for our friends and the world to see. We post our professional accomplishments on open social networks. We look for validation and response from what we show the world, from names printed in magazines to recognition in the neighborhood coffee stop.

Yet we can hide like never before.

We have unlimited options to conceal our true identity, forsaking vulnerability and connection for a clean, manufactured image. With so many distractions for us to choose from, we can hide from ourselves, busying our focus from concentrating on things that matter and topics we know to be pertinent.

Our priorities become lost to routine and inefficiency.

It’s easier to distract ourselves than sit down and get to the real, gritty work.
It’s easy to check email and Facebook regularly.
It’s hard to focus on making big things happen.
It’s easy to sprinkle business cards around a room.
It’s hard to develop meaningful rapport.
It’s easy to leave a meeting without speaking up.
It’s difficult to put your ideas on the line.
It’s easy to attend a party not having learned anyone’s name.
It’s difficult to make intentional introductions.
It’s easy to speak on a panel.
It’s hard to create an experience that changes the way someone feels.
It’s easy to manufacture the same item over and over again.
It’s difficult to create a once-in-a-lifetime work of art.
Seth Godin recently reminded me of questions I can’t afford not to answer:

Is this making me uncomfortable, pushing me to grow? Or am I hiding?

Each day we have a series of choices that, when combined, contribute to the story we tell ourselves and the world.

Disappointing relationships? It could be you.

I often hear the following:

  • My relationships aren’t fulfilling.
  • I’m not meeting the right people.
  • I’m not as connected as I’d like to be.
  • My employees don’t respect me.
  • My team isn’t as close as when we first began.
  • I’m not introduced in the way that I’d like.
  • I can’t find people who share my interests.

It’s easy to place the blame on outside factors and fault something external, something beyond our control — a difficult situation, a partner’s deficit, the inability of a client to clearly communicate. The challenging route is an active one, requiring self-discipline and honest assessment. For example:

  • How do I represent myself across different areas of my life (to friends, acquaintances, strangers, colleagues, my family)?
  • Are the activities I participate in an accurate representation of my innermost dreams and ambitions?
  • Do I frequent similar kinds of situations expecting different results?
  • Am I investing time and intention to create meaningful relationships?
  • Do I carefully and thoughtfully communicate with others?

Self-analysis can be trying, confusing, and difficult to navigate; however, it is an essential step in identifying the roles we create in our lives.
How do you contribute to common perceptions of your character and personality? What behaviors do you repeat that fail to serve you in your most valued personal and professional relationships?
Most often, the gate towards fulfilling, meaningful connection begins with you.

Essential ingredients of great dinner parties

Seating matters.

I’ve attended dinner parties with incredibly talented, driven individuals. But for whatever reason, the energy isn’t right. People who should be brainstorming and dreaming together end up at opposite ends of the table. Conversation seems forced and inauthentic.

This frustrates me beyond words.

You want people to tell stories.

A dinner can be a long time to sit next to someone in which no connection is shared. Guests don’t need to stay in the same spot all night, either. Make things interesting and shake things up.

Introduce individuals from complementary industries. Instigate unexpected relationships. Create a welcoming environment that acts as the backdrop for stories and connection.

Deliberate planning is the difference between good and great.

When a guest enters a room and knows he’s been considered in advance, a shift happens. Suddenly, he steps up his game. He’s no longer a passive observer and is encouraged to play an active role as participant.

A seating arrangement is an easy way to convey advance preparation. The right pairing of personalities can focus the energy of the party, and proper introductions is a subtle nod to the talents and expertise of those involved. Seating complementary interests next to each other is a detail appreciated by any dinner guest, and, when planned with intention, can optimize opportunities for individuals to shine.

For more tips on hosting a great dinner party, download my free ebook.