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Tag: perspective

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

Let’s go to an art residency for one hour, every day

Writing residencies spoil people.

I just finished one month completely devoted to artistic creation. The schedule was up to me, when I wanted to work, for how long and on what. I was surrounded by other energetic artists who were on their own programs — some stayed up all night holed up in their studios, others spent afternoons baking cakes and cookies in the communal kitchen. I could go for long walks in the morning or take a yoga class at night. Aside from a weekly group check-in, the agenda was totally up to me.

The setting was magical (Woodstock, NY) and buildings historic (founded in 1902), but the greatest gift was time. I was taken from my day-to-day responsibilities and placed in an entirely new environment. My sole aim: To focus on the creative pursuit of my choosing.

It was luxurious.

And I realize, not entirely practical.

Two days before the residency ended, I panicked. How am I going to finish what I started? I am going back into the “real world” where tasks and duties and meetings and schedules and a full email inbox await. I understand residencies are temporal and intermittent and not everyone can take a month out of their life to do art.

A fellow writer at the residency had a invaluable answer I want to share with you.

One hour.

One hour a day, she said, whenever it suits you. In the morning, in the evening, in the late afternoon. Set a timer and write. No more, no less. One hour. When that alarm goes off, you turn off, put the pen down, close the computer and walk away.

I can do that, I think. And so can you.

For this next month, let’s commit one hour every day to focus on our goals. To create. To write. To do the work, whatever that means to you.

Note: I’m not saying a finished piece in thirty days. We’re only holding each other accountable for clocking in time. Sixty daily uninterrupted minutes. We’re creating our own artist residency together, and it doesn’t require travel or communal living or time off from work/school/family.

Let’s do this. Tweet me, message me, let me know what you’re working on.

Keeping the flame alive

A student saw KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE on a movie poster and asked me, “What is flame and why does it need to be alive?” The movie was about a married couple inviting a stranger into their home to try to spice up their fizzling love life.

I described fire, from the moment you flick a match until the last wisps of smoke float away. “You know how happy you are when you get a new shirt?” I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. “But in time, the shirt gets old and you don’t like it as much?” More agreement. If you don’t take care of fire, it eventually burns out.

Not only fire. Energy, projects, teams, excitement, zest, flavor, curiosity. What’s new is exciting and mysterious. In time, mystique and interest become be replaced with comfort and familiarity. It’s up to you to decide which characteristics best serve you.

If you’re in a funk (31 ways to destroy a bad mood)

  1. Go sit in a different room.
  2. Take 5 minutes to be quiet and still (turn off your phone, set an alarm if you must).
  3. Walk outside.
  4. Search for your favorite artist’s playlist on youtube.
  5. Invest in an essential oil you love. Two drops can do wonders.
  6. Write a list of 5 things you are thankful for in this moment.
  7. Treat yourself (massage, cupcake, small gift).
  8. Make a salad with ingredients you pick up from a farmers’ market.
  9. Play with an animal.
  10. Browse the shelves in your local bookstore.
  11. Go to/from your office using a new route, even if it takes longer.
  12. Listen to an interesting or inspiring podcast.
  13. Do yoga at home.
  14. Watch a movie at the theater.
  15. Send a message to a friend.
  16. Write yourself a letter.
  17. Place fresh cut flowers in your home.
  18. Step outside and listen for birds.
  19. Find shapes in clouds.
  20. Draw, paint, color, glue, build, hammer, stitch.
  21. Plant something.
  22. “Guilty pleasure.” Everyone has one; indulge yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
  23. Write a new bucket list. List dreams that get you excited.
  24. Don’t do anything. Focus on your breathing. Yes, doing nothing is actually fine.
  25. Take a nap. Not getting enough sleep is proven to impact mental health.
  26. Dance. Doesn’t matter what you look like. Turn up your favorite tune, close the curtains and stomp it out.
  27. Burn regrets. Those decisions weighing you down? Write them out. You can sit with that paper for twenty minutes, then light a match to it.
  28. Stay off social media. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Go one day without logging online and see how you feel.
  29. Read. Return an old favorite or ask a friend for recommendations.
  30. Do one thing you’ve never done before. Doesn’t matter what it is — dance class, open mic, an online course. Try something different.
  31. Make plans. Big or small, a trip to another country or a lunch date, get something on the calendar that you can look forward to.

13 lessons to be learned from expats

  1. It’s OK to not understand everything that is happening around you all of the time.
  2. True friends will keep in touch.
  3. Don’t compare your life, your successes, your failures or your progress with anyone else.
  4. Take time to connect with the people around you. See them for who they really are.
  5. Never stop learning.
  6. Use social media sparingly.
  7. Drink alcohol in moderation.
  8. Build community. Seek out and find those who bring out your very best self.
  9. If you don’t know the answer, don’t be afraid to ask.
  10. It’s always helpful to research and gather information before making big decisions. In the end, however, let intuition guide you.
  11. Spend time getting to know yourself so you can acknowledge your weaknesses and strong points.
  12. Set goals that both challenge and inspire you.
  13. Write. Make time to dream, to reflect, to observe and to record. Situations are constantly changing, and your perspectives will shift as well. Writing your thoughts down can help you stay on track and grow.

Post modified from this Medium article, posted July 15, 2015.

The long game

It’s temping to go after the immediate. “Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” reinforces the tangible, encouraging the pursuit of results that can be seen. But what if the best results aren’t just around the corner — instead, that payoff, that freedom, that title, that responsibility is waiting; 1 year, 3 years, 7 years down the line? Would your strategy change? Would your work ethic and your daily habits be different? Would your focus remain?

It seems most people want results that are better suited for long-term strategies. They become too easily disappointed when short-term bets fall through. Matching strategy with goals should include a [realistic] priority assessment of what you’re willing and able to give. Honest considerations of finances and resources is essential in order to thoughtfully plan tactics and timelines.

There’s no use setting yourself up for the long haul if your heart isn’t in it. Make sure the goals you set match your intended aim and the resources you can put forth.

P.S. Thanks to those who contributed to my writing residence. NY, here I come!