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Tag: perception

Keeping the flame alive

A student saw KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE on a movie poster and asked me, “What is flame and why does it need to be alive?” The movie was about a married couple inviting a stranger into their home to try to spice up their fizzling love life.

I described fire, from the moment you flick a match until the last wisps of smoke float away. “You know how happy you are when you get a new shirt?” I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. “But in time, the shirt gets old and you don’t like it as much?” More agreement. If you don’t take care of fire, it eventually burns out.

Not only fire. Energy, projects, teams, excitement, zest, flavor, curiosity. What’s new is exciting and mysterious. In time, mystique and interest become be replaced with comfort and familiarity. It’s up to you to decide which characteristics best serve you.

If you’re in a funk (31 ways to destroy a bad mood)

  1. Go sit in a different room.
  2. Take 5 minutes to be quiet and still (turn off your phone, set an alarm if you must).
  3. Walk outside.
  4. Search for your favorite artist’s playlist on youtube.
  5. Invest in an essential oil you love. Two drops can do wonders.
  6. Write a list of 5 things you are thankful for in this moment.
  7. Treat yourself (massage, cupcake, small gift).
  8. Make a salad with ingredients you pick up from a farmers’ market.
  9. Play with an animal.
  10. Browse the shelves in your local bookstore.
  11. Go to/from your office using a new route, even if it takes longer.
  12. Listen to an interesting or inspiring podcast.
  13. Do yoga at home.
  14. Watch a movie at the theater.
  15. Send a message to a friend.
  16. Write yourself a letter.
  17. Place fresh cut flowers in your home.
  18. Step outside and listen for birds.
  19. Find shapes in clouds.
  20. Draw, paint, color, glue, build, hammer, stitch.
  21. Plant something.
  22. “Guilty pleasure.” Everyone has one; indulge yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
  23. Write a new bucket list. List dreams that get you excited.
  24. Don’t do anything. Focus on your breathing. Yes, doing nothing is actually fine.
  25. Take a nap. Not getting enough sleep is proven to impact mental health.
  26. Dance. Doesn’t matter what you look like. Turn up your favorite tune, close the curtains and stomp it out.
  27. Burn regrets. Those decisions weighing you down? Write them out. You can sit with that paper for twenty minutes, then light a match to it.
  28. Stay off social media. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Go one day without logging online and see how you feel.
  29. Read. Return an old favorite or ask a friend for recommendations.
  30. Do one thing you’ve never done before. Doesn’t matter what it is — dance class, open mic, an online course. Try something different.
  31. Make plans. Big or small, a trip to another country or a lunch date, get something on the calendar that you can look forward to.

One shot

When you only have one chance, it matters. Your heart races, your mind scans all the outcomes — what if I fail? what if I make a mistake? what if I lose? what if I win? — and you do your best not to blow it.
Faced with twenty shots, however, you start to relax. Your breathing levels out as there isn’t as much pressure to perform. You savor the experience knowing there’s another chance. If you do screw up, it doesn’t matter. You have another shot.
Seth Godin wisely points out that with the internet, we’ve been granted not only with twenty but an unlimited number of shots. Whether buying, selling, researching, writing, connecting or dating, we have choices and options unfurling miles in front of us. We don’t have to be so afraid anymore. Just step up and take another shot.

Questions to measure your personal brand

Whether or not you run a business, you own a media company — your own. With these four questions, be sure you’re building one worth investing in.

1. Are you unique?

If you can’t articulate what makes you different, there’s no reason for someone to choose you. Everyone brings different skill sets and perspectives to the table. Figure out what makes you you and learn how to talk about it in a flattering way.

2. How real are you?

Authenticity is your ability to align what you say and what you do. If you can’t be trusted, you’re going to have a difficult time gaining respect and making deals.

3. Are you relevant?

If your audience doesn’t need or want the messages you’re sending, it doesn’t matter how great they are.

4. Are you reliable?

The manner in which you present yourself should be consistent. If your emails are laced with emoticons, “Hey Brian!! Thanks for visiting my site!! You’re awesome.☺☺☺” and your website boasts luxury services, potential customers will shrink away with confusion and skepticism.

Go through your most important documents. Look at your resume, your LinkedIn, your tweets. Do they represent what you want people to believe about you?

If you’re the head of an organization, does your team know your mission? From the woman who stocks the shelves to the intern publishing blog posts, every team player should be able to recite what the company stands for. If they can’t, chances are high your customers can’t either.

Same goes for you. You need people in your corner who know who you are, what you stand for and support you along the way.

Original post “You are your own media company” can be found on Medium.

Writing tips for non-writers

If you’re trying to get something done (build a business, raise funds, get a job, find employees), writing is a helpful skill to have. But if you think writing is best left up to the pros, follow my three-step recipe for a writing process that’s both easy and effective.*

Step 1: What are you writing about?

Think about what you want to communicate and who you are trying to reach. What do you want to say? Once you decide your position or attitude about that thing, you can begin to make notes about your ideas. Jot down words and phrases that come to mind. You can go back and edit later, but for this initial step, get down on paper as much as you can.

Next, structure your writing. If you’re presenting or trying to convince an audience of something, try to organize your thoughts logically. Think about your writing as a hamburger: the top bun is your introduction, the meat and filling is the body (your main points!), and the bottom piece of bread is your conclusion or summary. Leave out any part of this, and your hamburger presentation just isn’t as tempting.

There’s a reason beginning/middle/end works in storytelling.

Step 2. Begin writing!

Don’t overthink this. Go! Start! With Step 1 in hand, you’ll have the framework and parts you need to write something convincing. If this is writing someone else will be reading, you may want to focus on grammar and punctuation. If it’s a love note, your handwriting should be clear enough your lover can read it.

Step 3. Proofread & Edit

Re-read what you’ve written to check for blatant errors. It can help to read out loud (or whisper) to make sure what you’ve written makes sense. Have you repeated words? If so, is this on purpose or can you use better, more colorful synonyms? If this is an important document or email, save yourself future embarrassment and remember to edit spelling and grammatical mistakes.

As with any skill, improvement require practice and dedication. Keep writing! And reading! What articles attract you? Notice what draws your attention and what repels it. What makes you keep reading a story? Surround yourself with quality writing, and you will become a stronger writer.

*I teach these tips to my students in Nepal.

Search for meaning

The internet gives you many lives. You can write an article once, muster the courage to post it online, become disappointed when it falls flat and goes unshared, resolve to forget about it and write something else. Then one day, you wake up to an inbox of responses and questions as if this was a piece you posted yesterday.

This sometimes happens to me.

Lately, a few of my Medium posts have undergone rebirths, and I’ve found myself answering questions about the search for meaning and joy and life. “Should I go to a monastery?” “Do I need to volunteer in a different country to find myself?” “What advice can you give me to discover my passion?”

I don’t have any answers, really. I know that the answers we often want most are right in front of us. They don’t necessarily require a trip around the world, months spent in solitude, or someone else to show us the way. I wish I could tell you a perfect formula. I wish I had this formula myself three years ago when I first set out for Nepal.

But I think that’s my big secret. I stopped looking.

I was driving myself crazy with these exact same questions. I was browsing the self-help section for career changes, dog-eared my way through What Color Is Your Parachute, and still no answers. My journal was a messy scrawl of ink and tear, I mean, coffee stains when I got on that first plane to Kathmandu. I knew was I was hurting and raw and sick of feeling like crap. I wanted to feel good, both in the world and in my body and make a positive contribution somewhere. And this is how I found myself teaching English to a bunch of rowdy monks.

No, I had no idea I was going to start a Learning House. If you told me I’d spend the next three years of my life in Nepal, I would have laughed. But I did know that giving to others and empowering individuals through education brought me deep satisfaction. In this way, my focus shifted from myself and onto something positive. I stopped questioning and just did.

Meaning found me. I hope it finds you.