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Tag: intention

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

Let’s go to an art residency for one hour, every day

Writing residencies spoil people.

I just finished one month completely devoted to artistic creation. The schedule was up to me, when I wanted to work, for how long and on what. I was surrounded by other energetic artists who were on their own programs — some stayed up all night holed up in their studios, others spent afternoons baking cakes and cookies in the communal kitchen. I could go for long walks in the morning or take a yoga class at night. Aside from a weekly group check-in, the agenda was totally up to me.

The setting was magical (Woodstock, NY) and buildings historic (founded in 1902), but the greatest gift was time. I was taken from my day-to-day responsibilities and placed in an entirely new environment. My sole aim: To focus on the creative pursuit of my choosing.

It was luxurious.

And I realize, not entirely practical.

Two days before the residency ended, I panicked. How am I going to finish what I started? I am going back into the “real world” where tasks and duties and meetings and schedules and a full email inbox await. I understand residencies are temporal and intermittent and not everyone can take a month out of their life to do art.

A fellow writer at the residency had a invaluable answer I want to share with you.

One hour.

One hour a day, she said, whenever it suits you. In the morning, in the evening, in the late afternoon. Set a timer and write. No more, no less. One hour. When that alarm goes off, you turn off, put the pen down, close the computer and walk away.

I can do that, I think. And so can you.

For this next month, let’s commit one hour every day to focus on our goals. To create. To write. To do the work, whatever that means to you.

Note: I’m not saying a finished piece in thirty days. We’re only holding each other accountable for clocking in time. Sixty daily uninterrupted minutes. We’re creating our own artist residency together, and it doesn’t require travel or communal living or time off from work/school/family.

Let’s do this. Tweet me, message me, let me know what you’re working on.

Not every day is inspirational and not every work is inspired

This month I’m participating in an artist residence program. It’s my first experience like this, and I’m surrounded by trees and beauty and very talented creative people. When I first arrived, I was intimidated. Listening to the other artists’ stories and experiences and seeing their work made me feel like the outsider. I never went to art school, I’m a social worker, I’ve been living in Nepal, I’m a writer.

Determined, I pushed past my insecurities to focus on my work. I came with a goal in mind: it doesn’t have to be amazing, it doesn’t even have to be good, but I want to leave here with a solid first draft.

Most days feel like slogging through a forest. I’ve had moments of brilliance and inspiration, but more days have been clouded in despair and frustration. I decided it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I think it’s a good story or whether it IS a good story. My work is to simply show up, put in time, and keep going.

If you sit around waiting for moments of inspiration and creative spark, you might be waiting a long time. I want to tell you to fight through it. Fight through the urge and don’t sell yourself short. You deserve to create. No matter your background or experience, make something. Build something. Dream something.

(And if you need more encouragement, check out Liz Gilbert’s Big Magic.)

Relax, everything is going to be OK

If you knew everything would be OK, would you spend more time with your close friends? Take more time for yourself? Eat differently? Leave the office earlier?

If you knew the outcome would be OK, would you relax, ease up? Work harder?

How would your strategy change?

If everything was going to be OK, would you save more? Worry less? Sleep at night?

Of course there’s a chance it won’t be. If you’re doing work that’s risky and creative, you’re pushing edges. Emotions become linked with success and failure, and instability tests resolve.

Ease into it. You might surprise yourself by worrying less and making different choices. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

“It’s not my job.”

Taking responsibility inevitably sets you up, while watching from the sidelines gives you that head start should an anvil hit. There’s always the option to run.
When you step in to do a little more and claim ownership (no matter how small), the work becomes personal. This is where thoughtful decisions are made and jobs are performed with integrity.
“It’s not my job” is too big of a shortcut to take, especially if you’re hoping to get someplace else. Whether you’re looking for a raise, a promotion, a better position or a more flexible company, venture beyond the lines of your job description and look for ways to help your team succeed.
It might not be your job, but it’s definitely your reputation. How safe do you want to play?

If you’re in a funk (31 ways to destroy a bad mood)

  1. Go sit in a different room.
  2. Take 5 minutes to be quiet and still (turn off your phone, set an alarm if you must).
  3. Walk outside.
  4. Search for your favorite artist’s playlist on youtube.
  5. Invest in an essential oil you love. Two drops can do wonders.
  6. Write a list of 5 things you are thankful for in this moment.
  7. Treat yourself (massage, cupcake, small gift).
  8. Make a salad with ingredients you pick up from a farmers’ market.
  9. Play with an animal.
  10. Browse the shelves in your local bookstore.
  11. Go to/from your office using a new route, even if it takes longer.
  12. Listen to an interesting or inspiring podcast.
  13. Do yoga at home.
  14. Watch a movie at the theater.
  15. Send a message to a friend.
  16. Write yourself a letter.
  17. Place fresh cut flowers in your home.
  18. Step outside and listen for birds.
  19. Find shapes in clouds.
  20. Draw, paint, color, glue, build, hammer, stitch.
  21. Plant something.
  22. “Guilty pleasure.” Everyone has one; indulge yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
  23. Write a new bucket list. List dreams that get you excited.
  24. Don’t do anything. Focus on your breathing. Yes, doing nothing is actually fine.
  25. Take a nap. Not getting enough sleep is proven to impact mental health.
  26. Dance. Doesn’t matter what you look like. Turn up your favorite tune, close the curtains and stomp it out.
  27. Burn regrets. Those decisions weighing you down? Write them out. You can sit with that paper for twenty minutes, then light a match to it.
  28. Stay off social media. Just. Don’t. Do. It. Go one day without logging online and see how you feel.
  29. Read. Return an old favorite or ask a friend for recommendations.
  30. Do one thing you’ve never done before. Doesn’t matter what it is — dance class, open mic, an online course. Try something different.
  31. Make plans. Big or small, a trip to another country or a lunch date, get something on the calendar that you can look forward to.