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Tag: courage

Your time directs your focus

The way in which you spend your time narrows your focus. What you think about, the choices you make, the schedule you follow — all of these daily decisions add up to who you are today.
Have you asked yourself who you’d like to be?
It is worth finding quiet space and taking time to answer this question honestly and searchingly. The answer might require some hard moves, perhaps major adjustments, but you owe it to yourself to ask: Is the path I am on the right one for me?
Your life depends on it, and the world benefits when you are your truest self.

Top 10 posts from Project Exponential

1. 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk
2. 5 rules of hustling
3. What brings people together?
4. A coffee riddle
5. 10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)
6. The people in your life will make or break you
7. 19 things you can do instead of grad school
8. Stop trying to find your purpose
9. 7 sins of crowdfunding
10. Figure out what you want to learn and go do it

Working backwards, piece by piece

Vary rarely are goals — especially big ones — accomplished at once. Piece by piece, day by day, small actions lead up to the final result, the dream that inspired you from the beginning. This is why working backwards can help you get what you want.

Set your BIG goal and plan corresponding “mini-goals” that lead you to where you want to be. Often times the end goal can seem too far away and too discouraging to continue, but smaller, daily actions can keep your focus and intention in check.

Dream big, as big as you can, then identify the smaller steps you need to take to get there.

To fall in love, do this:

A few years ago, a NYTimes piece lured readers with the secret to relational bliss. The author detailed her personal experience based on psychological research claiming to make two strangers fall in love. By asking intimate questions and demanding two individuals spend quality time together — even holding each other’s gaze for four minutes — the pair were believed to cement a relationship.

Of course, relationships take time and care and persistent, almost stubborn commitment. But at the heart of two people choosing to share life and love is curiosity. Curiosity about your partner’s preferences and dreams. Questions that dare to journey beyond the superficial: goals and fears and heartache and hopes.

Not sure where to begin? These 36 questions can help you get started. Or listen to the original NYTimes piece on the Modern Love podcast.

Confrontation and rejection: an opportunity

Confrontation and rejection are both uncomfortable, unpleasant situations that no one likes to encounter. Those with a less developed sense of self may interpret confrontation or rejection as a hit to their ego, their self-esteem dependent upon approval and positive feedback from others. As life begins to deal more social situations (and success), rejection matters less. The sting of disapproval doesn’t hold as much weight, and a healthier attitude towards potentially unkind situations develops. In fact, people who learn to deal with rejection and confrontation realize that these unpleasant circumstances are part of life, and to avoid them would create an insulating boundary that would limit the magic of living. These people accept that they won’t be a match for everyone and that this impossible expectation is too heavy a load to carry.

The first rejections are always the hardest to hear. When you begin to face the fear and anxiety of negative situations with a more positive attitude, the experience changes. The power of rejection lessens, and valuable learnings can be gained in potentially troubling situations. Conflict often isn’t as bad as we rehearse it in our own mind.

Scared of letting your feelings and emotions known? Practice first, by writing them down. Write down what you hope to say and explain how you feel. Dealing with confrontation and rejection is an essential skill no matter your line of work. Taking time to gather your thoughts before entering a charged situation will empower you to remain grounded and present when emotions run high.

5 years of connection, inspiration

Five years of dinners, thousands of connections and friendships formed.

Five years of strangers embracing risk and uncertainty. Questions asked and answered in dining rooms, wine bars, cheese bars, hidden nooks.

Five years of honest conversations and receptivity.

Romances, business partnerships, ideas, and improvements stemming from industry intersections and complementary interests.

Five years ago, when I first invited a group of eighteen entrepreneurs, academics, businessmen and women, writers and artists to a secret restaurant in New York, I asked them to embrace risk and curiosity and answer questions openly. Today, people around the world are sharing dinners, and invitations are extended to a select few to join special events in New York.

Thank you for sharing this journey. Here’s to more.