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Tag: courage

When your world turns black

Your project will fail. Your spouse will file for divorce. You’ll be looked over for the promotion. You’ll lose money on your startup. Your child will get arrested. People will talk badly about you. It will start raining as soon as you leave the office.

All of these things can happen.

Are you prepared?

Life can be hard. It can feel like a momentous effort to get out of bed. Yet these are the days that matter. These days show you who you really are, what kind of stuff you’re made of, who you call in your dark hours. You can’t change what is happening around you, but you can choose how you’ll respond.

Do you have a game plan for life’s lows?

Write a go-to list that provides extra healing and care for days you’re feeling less than prime. Watch a movie, meditate, write, take a yoga class, go for a long walk, listen to great music, eat delicious food. Even small actions can help reset your energy and redirect your focus.

And if you can’t snap out of your funk, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out. Even your closest, cheeriest friends’ worlds have turned black at some point in time. You are not alone and never will be. The sun will return.

Consume or create

The internet has made it easy to sit back and watch and endlessly consume other people’s opinions, actions, projects, and work. It is now so easy to be a passive observer, to be someone who sits on the sidelines while others play in the game.

It is difficult to create. It takes time and dedication and focus. It takes courage to put something out in the world, something that might be discarded or mocked or rejected or possibly even ignored. But your livelihood requires this of you. Your happiness and passion are fueled by creativity. Building, writing, drawing, pasting, singing, connecting — these actions will inspire you.

Read good writing. Look at art. Find pictures and places that inspire you. But don’t count on others to do all of the work. Set a goal, make a few mistakes, and love the process. Your heart needs this.

Stay in the mud

We try to get out of uncomfortable moments fast — moments when we feel like frauds and failures and disappointments. But these moments are teachers, there to help you ask questions and sort through your most difficult, persisting views about yourself and the way the world works.

It’s tempting to race past boredom, to distract yourself from insecurities, to run from uncertainty.

Try to sit with those moments when you don’t know all the answers. Sit quietly and listen softly. The answers will come.

Your pain will contribute to a better tomorrow

When you’re thick in the middle of heartbreak or despair, it seems ludicrous to even remotely consider the possibility of a better tomorrow, or to think of happiness, or to acknowledge some divine plan. In dark, heavy hours, it can feel momentous to simply get through the day.

Yet these trying hours are the ones that will lead you to happiness. When you have nothing and when you question everything — these are precious gifts that can bring you closer to your authentic self and how you are meant to function in this world. Desperation and dejection can become your greatest teachers.

Sit tight. One day, you’ll be able to look back and be grateful. Things will get better. Until then, be gentle with yourself.

Ask yourself tough questions daily

The questions you ask yourself dictate your experiences. Often the most uncomfortable questions are the ones you most need to answer, and the issues that cause some emotional reaction are the ones you need to consider. Shying away from tough subjects creates boundaries between you and life’s rich complexities.

Am I where I want to be? Am I who I want to be?
Are my closest relationships fulfilling and supportive?
When I wake up in the mornings, am I excited to start the day?
Do I pause to appreciate what is good in my life?
How have I changed over the past year? Am I heading in a direction I am proud of?
Are my decisions fully representative of me, my values, and my goals?
What do I worry most about?
What am I most proud of?
Who has helped me get where I am today?

Find time to answer; your answers could change your tomorrow.

When you’ve been hurt

Your heart is broken. Maybe for the first time, maybe for the fifth. You have two choices now.

You can allow pain and anger to seep through your being and go about shielding yourself from any scenario that might cause these feelings again. This will undoubtedly result in limited encounters with the world, stifled relationships, and a blunted emotional experience.

OR

You can look for the lessons. You can dive into the pain and see if you can find greater understanding, more peace, more authenticity, and more focus than ever before. Instead of running, you can sit with the experience and breathe into it, knowing that eventually, slowly, it will pass. That in time small ripples of joy will wash healing currents through your life.

Past failures and disappointments only dictate your future if you let them. Seek out daily moments of magic and wonder. Flashes of lightening in a night sky. The impish smirk of a young child. The rustle of leaves at dusk. Kindness between strangers.

This is how you go on.