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Tag: connection

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

6 tips to become a better public speaker

Public speaking isn’t something to fear. With practice, presentations can connect you more deeply to your clients and your work and can even teach you new lessons about yourself. Use these tips to ace your next event, whether you’re toasting at a dinner party or pitching to an investor.

  1. Be honest. If you’re faking or pretending, people will know. Tell a personal story that’s relevant. Your emotion will come through and resonate with your listeners.
  2. Invest in your audience. This means you’ve taken the time to learn about them; you’ve taken time to think through their challenges, their struggles and their goals so you can cater your message accordingly. Look them in the eye. Show them you care.
  3. Practice. Write your speech and say it out loud. Notice sections that feel awkward and find the natural pauses and rhythms in your talk. When you get nervous, you’ll want to speak quickly. Take a deep breath. The more you practice, the more control you’ll have over your cadence.
  4. Watch others. Observe what draws you to certain speakers and repels you from others. What do they do? How do they do it? What draws you to what they are saying?
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect. Your humanness is what makes you interesting. Use mistakes to regain focus and concentrate on your main point. See if you can reduce your talk to one or two themes and keep these in your mind as you move forward. Relax and be yourself.
  6. Keep it simple. Sometimes the best messages are simply stated: they’re not overly complex or detailed, they’re not filled with graphics or images or slideshows. Work with a coach or trusted friend to pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses and remember: a personal experience can often mean more than any rehearsed oration.

Have more tips to share? What has made your speaking great? Did you fail (and what did you learn)? Tweet me @redhedlefthand.

Commitment

I was speaking with a fellow writer today. He has two kids, a humongous garden, several horses, two rambunctious dogs and a wife. “Commit to a schedule,” he said. “It’s the only way to get anything done.” He told me that we have to trick our minds. That by establishing the practice of sitting down and writing every day — even if it is two hours of futzing around with one paragraph — is important.

We commit to partners and pledge to causes and sign contracts. Why can’t we make a commitment to ourselves, to our art?

If you want to finish anything you’re proud of, you have to commit to it. Reserve that hour, set up a monthly schedule, make your work a priority. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t pay. It doesn’t matter if it feels selfish. This is your art. Commit to it.

Asking is an exercise in humility

Asking for help isn’t easy. Asking for money, for guidance, for a ride, for a raise. When we ask for something, we’re admitting there’s a gap, something we don’t have.  “Hey, I don’t have this thing that I really need. Do you?” We lack resources or knowledge or ability, but the person on the receiving end of the question has it. This dynamic can make us feel vulnerable and weak.

Needing help doesn’t indicate flaws. In fact, asking for help can be a sign of strength and growth. Asking is a characteristic of true leaders and gives others the opportunity to shine.

The next time that voice of fear rises when you need help, pause. Recognize you’re on the edge of change and savor the chance to share your work with others.

I just asked for help here. Yes, it was scary! I hate writing asking emails. But the supportive responses I’ve received and the messages of care that have filled my inbox are like cool glasses of iced tea on a hot summer day. People WANT to help. Your friends want to see you succeed, I promise. Give them the opportunity.

Summer dining (invite only)

Invitations will soon go out for July’s dinner event in New York City. You must be on the list to be considered. Seating is limited to preserve quality of conversation. Individuals from a range of business sectors are brought together to discuss success (and failure), mentorship and art.

Networking events often attract professionals from similar industries. Our dinners aim to bring together complementary experiences, contrasting ideas, and professionals at different stages in their careers to enhance participants’ views and encourage meaningful work.

Past attendees have met business partners, friends and people to bounce ideas off of. The dinners have been described as “Such a valuable moment for me. I walked away with new tools for my work and a new perspective,” “An evening to remember! The connections were magical.” and “Unforgettable stories, inspiring.”

Michelle will be hosting the July dinner. For questions, please send an email to info@projectexponential.com.

Relax, everything is going to be OK

If you knew everything would be OK, would you spend more time with your close friends? Take more time for yourself? Eat differently? Leave the office earlier?

If you knew the outcome would be OK, would you relax, ease up? Work harder?

How would your strategy change?

If everything was going to be OK, would you save more? Worry less? Sleep at night?

Of course there’s a chance it won’t be. If you’re doing work that’s risky and creative, you’re pushing edges. Emotions become linked with success and failure, and instability tests resolve.

Ease into it. You might surprise yourself by worrying less and making different choices. Change doesn’t happen overnight.