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Tag: awareness

5 questions to measure success

I’ve been thinking about the American Dream and how we’ve come to define wealth and achievement. I’m turning 30 soon, a benchmark to pause and reflect on life’s work and progress.

Yet the ways in which I was taught to measure “success” don’t seem to apply to me.

I don’t own a house or a car. What I do own fits into a duffle bag. I sleep under a mosquito net. My savings account is negligible, I have student loans I will probably never be able to pay. I’m unmarried, I have no children. In full disclosure, it’s been awhile since I received a regular paycheck.

According to the American Dream, I’m a complete failure.

It has me wondering if our notion of wealth has become distorted. If the scales we use to determine value and impact are skewed, if we’re asking the wrong questions — both of ourselves of the organizations we trust.

As I enter a new decade, I consider:

Are you helping others?

Are you accomplishing set goals?

Do you feel welcomed into a community? 

Are there people in your life who support you?

Are you learning, getting just a little bit better, more patient, more compassionate, more understanding, more loving each day?

For more on redefining success, wealth and the American Dream, read my original post on Medium.

Microactions

It’s easy to focus on big issues. They’re the blaring, obvious ones, and they make for easy complaints. Small actions can be more difficult to identify and require more brain power and attention.

More industries are understanding the value of these details and the importance they have in long term change. We’re seeing this trend with the rising popularity of “micro-” vernacular: micro-lending, micro-movements, micro-grants, micro-lancing.

Over time, small actions add up. Whether it’s a business owner planning out his annual forecast or the dieter writing a daily meal plan, daily decisions have great consequence.

The challenge is this: starting now.

(Tip: the first few actions you take in your day set the tone for what’s to come.)

Lessons on working for free

For almost one year, I’ve volunteered my time serving a group of people I’ve grown to care for immensely. While I’ve sacrificed a lot, I’ve been granted much more in return. Some key takeaways:

1. Let excitement be your guide.

Excitement is an internal barometer letting you know you’re on track. If you’re not excited to get to work, you’re in the wrong place.

There was a time I had to coax myself out of bed in the morning. I was bored, frustrated, unchallenged, disenchanted. After I began placing myself in environments that made me feel valued and appreciated, a train engine powered my days. Clocking hours no longer mattered, and my worth became less about the money I was making and more about the contribution I was adding to the world around me.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s impossible have all the answers. Pretending you do so only prevents you from building relationships and trusted communities. Questions – no matter how obvious they may seem – not only provide information but also serve as gateway to meaningful connections. Asking for help allows others the opportunity to teach you about their world and their way of doing things. If you’re afraid to ask, you can bank on missing out.

3. Give, and you’ll be taken care of.

Decisions can be made from one of two places: scarcity or abundance.

A scarcity mentality is restricted to a finite amount of resources. The underlying emotion is fear. What if there isn’t enough, what if I give and there’s nothing left for me?

Abundant thinking, however, evolves from a place of trust, faith, and confidence. There is always enough; in fact, there is more than enough. Giving becomes less of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to do what’s right — a pleasure.

I used to think a lot about what I didn’t have. In hindsight, I prevented myself from becoming who I wanted to be. When I started to concentrate on what I do have, I gave more. I cared less about what was lacking and more about using my gifts in a way that mattered.

4. Worry less (it paralyzes you)!

Worrying serves no one. It’s a black hole, a basket collecting your best ideas and strongest intentions. Anxiety has stopped me from solidifying friendships, initiating projects, finishing goals. I’ve found myself slave to an endless chain of insecurity about my worth, capability, value, productivity, and possibility. Not beneficial. Not fun.

The irony is this: when I gave more, I was given more. Even though I haven’t received a paycheck, I’ve been taken care of — there’s a roof over my head, food to eat, people to cheer me on. I’ve received introductions to incredibly accomplished individuals and have found greater depth in my relationships.

Yes, due-diligence is required to develop plans and take action. But after you’ve put in your work, believe in yourself and the purity of your intentions. Your efforts will pay off.

The numbers in your bank account mean little.

If you hate your job, you cannot afford to stay one more day.
Over half of college graduates accept jobs that aren’t in their preferred industries (Bureau of Labor Statistics). People are bored, tired, and return home cranky and angry. Distraction comes in the form of stimuli — alcohol, drugs, buying things, selling things, gambling, eating, checking out in front of a screen.
You’ve invested too much in yourself — your education and training — to remain in a stifling workplace, performing tasks that are redundant. You are too valuable. Each second of your life is a precious moment you can’t get back. A bus could take you out tomorrow.
As difficult as it might seem to find a new gig, your life depends on it.
Your checkbook isn’t the only thing you should worry about. The bigger balance is your soul.

You have three seconds.

In three seconds, your story has to align with my needs.

The only reason a person who doesn’t know you is interested in you is because they’re interested in themselves, and they want to know how you will help them.

Your proof is your obsession. Your work shows me whether or not you care.

The best moments of my life began with a plane

I started writing a post titled “The Best Moments of My Life Began With Getting on a Plane.”
I was thinking about my first memory of travel, the second I knew I had a lifelong relationship with foreign places. I was a young girl visiting my father’s family in Holland, and I was standing in the produce section of a local market with my aunt. The vivid green of the vegetables and the neat rows of roots picked from the ground were like nothing I had seen in the aisles of King Soopers in Longmont, Colorado. I couldn’t understand a word of what anyone was saying, and a poppy Dutch radio station competed for my attention. I was enthralled. Even as I stepped outside, the light seemed to cast vibrant shadows on the sidewalk.
A summer volunteering at a Thai orphanage. The kids’ humble generosity sends me home with a profound appreciation of resources and privilege. A year as a psychology student in New Zealand. Thrust into an entirely new education system and a beautiful landscape to explore, I learn more about responsibility and individuality as I turn 20 in the Southern Hemisphere. A research grant affording me the opportunity to backpack Europe. An ongoing affair with Manhattan — continually discovering more about myself and people dear to me. And, of course, Nepal.
Looking closely, these experiences aren’t about an aircraft. Their significance comes from a reunion with mystery and uncertainty. Seeing the universe with fresh eyes. It isn’t about a place. It’s about confidence and connection with strangers; empathy and compassion and duty as a world citizen.
You don’t need to buy a ticket to experience something amazing. You can step towards the unknown and take risks to connect with strangers in your world.