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Category: Relationships

Give thanks

The ability to show and express gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can give to another. Gratitude is a powerful tool, one that can shift perspectives and brighten a dreary worldview in an instant.
A dear friend in Nepal once told me, “It is always possible to look up and see who is above you. People driving cars. The airplanes. My father said we have to also look down. There is someone wanting what you have.”
Thanksgiving has become one of my favorite celebrations for that reason: The gift of reflection, of simple joys, of quiet thanks shared with friends and loved ones.
To search for blessings during the toughest moments requires diligence and responsibility but also practice. Today’s a great day to start.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Want to have meaningful conversations at your Thanksgiving dinner table but not sure where to begin? Check out Seth Godin’s Thanksgiving Reader.

Sweet and spicy

The most talented chefs have memorized which flavors keep diners coming back for more. These particular dishes aren’t ones that fall into strict “Spicy,” “Sour,” or “Sweet” categories. Instead, they combine elements of several flavor profiles and artfully merge them into one.

The best freelancers — and lovers — understand this balance, too.

Give a creative too much freedom without structure, and ideas will bounce wildly about the room. Set some boundaries, however, and that creative energy can be harnessed into productive results.

Similarly, too many restrictions placed on any partnership will end up in resentment and distance. Fire needs air to breathe. Your most passionate relationships will continue to burn if you give them the space to do so.

The best work and the most satisfying relationships evolve out of unique blends of hard and soft, sweet and spicy, routine and surprise. Find the combinations that work for you.

Find what fuels you

art
music
nature
fixing
writing
walking
helping
praying
laughing
tinkering
exploring
reading
hiking
organizing
scultping
discovering
drawing
planting
analyzing
dancing
donating
planning
dreaming
yoga
hosting
gardening
meditating
sewing
giving
playing
cleaning
running
loving
singing
crafts
gratitude
building
painting
connecting
do more of that.

Write a book in eighty minutes

That’s what this group did — A group of twenty young people, hand picked from many, many applications, were given the assignment to write an ebook together. Except they were only given one hour and twenty minutes to complete it and publish it online.

This wasn’t simply a writing exercise. This was a teaching moment, an experience in vulnerability, connection, community, and risk taking. A practice in connecting ideas and people in a meaningful way. These students learned to alternate between stepping back and seeing the whole picture, then leaning in and dissecting the work before stepping back and reviewing the vision all over again.

They learned that fear is a powerful roadblock, but one that can be picked up and moved. Anytime. Anywhere. They practiced listening. They saw first hand that when you ask the right questions and stop to listen, the world unfolds before you. And they learned to step into the unique role that only you can create for yourself.

You have far more control over your destiny than you could ever possibly imagine.

How to write email introductions

Few things are as ineffective and frustrating as poorly written emails. Little information, no apparent connections, and enthusiastic instructions to “meet for coffee” can quickly end up in the trash bin.
People are busy.
Of course it is not always possible to be in the same room at the same time, so being able to make email introductions is an essential and valuable business skill. Yes, it is possible to write in a way that introduces two strangers and adds value to everyone copied on the chain.
Tips to keep in mind:

  1. Ask for permission first. Before sending out any emails with contact information, check in with all parties to make sure you’re using preferred addresses and contact numbers. Give notification that you are planning to make an introduction and make sure this is a good time for both parties to form a new acquaintance. Timing is everything when starting new relationships.
  2. While composing your email, explicitly state the reason why you are making the introduction. Explain the value you see for both parties.
  3. Briefly describe how you became aware of each individual. You don’t need to write long origin stories, but there is a difference between having worked with a project manager over the course of her career and having just met someone while standing in line for a sandwich.
  4. Don’t make either reader search for information. Clearly state the name and association of each party. Add relevant links so that each person can do additional research if and when time allows.
  5. Suggest intersecting areas of interest so that the individuals can meet with common overlap in mind.
  6. Lead with giving. You’re making the connection out of generosity, not a place of want. Never make an introduction expecting anything in return.

Have other tips for email introductions? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

You can say “No.”

And when you do, you open up space in your life for more: More of what you want. More of what gets you closer to your goals. More of what serves you.

“No” is necessary.

Saying “No” forces to you to confront the parts of you that crave acceptance. The pieces that yearn to be liked and to please.

Your “No” might start an argument. You may disappoint someone close to you. But every time you say “Yes,” “Okay” or “Sure” when you really mean “No,” your heart shrivels.

Declining invitations and turning down offers doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Your “No” doesn’t need to be swaddled in guilt. When you learn to say “No,” you show the people around you that you value your time. That you have priorities. That you care about things that matter and place emphasis on doing on your best work. That when you show up, you show up 110% and commit fully to the task at hand.

Practice saying “No” once this week.