Creating with intention
Intimacy is a series of steps, a sometimes timid momentum that helps define who we are and what we most fear. Choices that shine light on the walls surrounding each one of us.
A careful share. The pause before an extended hand. Gentle questions to better understand. That gap between “too much” and not enough.
Of course there are risks. But the best things in life happen because of these leaps.
“Sometimes I feel that society likes to trick us into thinking that we cannot, or have no interest in, getting along, working together, and standing in support of one another.”
Alexandra Elle
Relationships are important. Now more than ever before.
By encouraging those around us, we can set the bar even higher for ourselves.
At a show in Colorado, Marilyn Monroe saw Ella Fitzgerald turned away from the main entrance. She then refused to go inside until both were allowed through the front doors.
Nepal’s beauty queen advocate and CNN Hero recently collaborated to provide care and support for workers returning to Nepal.
“She’s encouraged me when I’ve had nothing to be encouraged about,” Selena Gomez has said about Taylor Swift. The songstresses have supported each other for over a decade.
“You famously auditioned with 15,000 other young women… What stuck out about you was there’s an authenticity about your performance… yours was just completely authentic,” Mindy Kaling gushed.
“She gave me my first laptop. Helped me bury my grandmother. Held my hand as I became a mother.” Pearl Thusi’s recognition of Basetsana Kumalo could make you cry.
Patty Arquette wins an Oscar, uses her acceptance speech to talk about wage equality, Meryl Streep enthusiastically hollered support.
“i met a woman who knew pain the same way i did… who cried as much as i did, drank as much wine as i did, ate as much pasta as i did and who’s heart was bigger than her whole body. she immediately felt like a sister to me.” Ariana gushed for Lady Gaga.
Friends since 1976, this duo continues to defend and cheer each other on. “We have talked about everything and nothing,” says Gayle King. “I’ve been to five therapists…Nobody has been a better therapist than Oprah!”
Since 2009, Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus have exchanged consistent praise.
The story of the first meeting between Gloria Steinem and Marlo Thomas is legendary, and their fierce friendship has remained powerful and strong ever since.
Helen Keller was 19 months old when she lost her eyesight and hearing. 20-year-old Ann Sullivan became her teacher. The rest is history.
“…she is not a shapeshifter, changing her point of view with the times, but has a clarity and continuity of vision built from life experience, impeccable taste, a hunger for knowledge, and a love of people,” says Tracee Ellis Ross of friend Samira Nasr.
From sports rivals to supportive allies, Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert built mutual admiration through sport and have shared commendable leadership, grace, and friendship.
“Weirdly, I remember thinking, ‘My friend is here! My friend is here!’ Even though things had been going great for me at the show, with Amy there, I felt less alone.” Tina Fey’s friendship with Amy Poehler is one for the books.
“We share an understanding of the abuse and intimidation which is now so often used as a means of disparaging women from getting on with our very important work.” Women of U.K. Parliament issued a strong statement in support of Meghan Markle.
“She said, ‘Kid, if you ever need me for anything, give me a call.'” Lucille Ball helped Carol Burnett break into the industry.
These two powerhouses united to campaign for women’s rights, combining Stanton’s speech writing prowess and Anthony’s vocal platform.
The hashtag should suffice: #WomenSupportingWomen.
Eleanor Roosevelt and Pauli Murray exchanged hundreds of letters throughout their friendship, uniting over debate and civic cause. Roosevelt notably wrote about her “firebrand” friend in the Feb 1953 issue of Ebony, years before the Civil Rights Movement.
“Every time I see her, she inspires me, she empowers me, she encourages me,” says Beyonce of Michelle Obama.
The friendship between Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts spans ALMOST 40 YEARS. Talk about #goals.
Have examples of your own? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.
This question is a favorite at dinners. My answer is always the same: Empathy.
“Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person, the divine energy in the other person, the life that’s alive in them.” —Marshall Rosenberg
Now, more than ever, empathy is an essential teaching. Empathy is:
It is our duty to find ways to listen, to converse, and to respond in ways that are respectful of the person sitting across from us. Trouble begins when we are unable to see us in them.
Empathy is NOT sympathy or pity.
We need empathy. We need it in our schools, our relationships, our governments, our businesses. The ability to connect reminds us of our shared humanity. Empathy requires:
When empathy is involved, relationships can flourish. Conversations become more meaningful, and solutions focus on what really matters.
Empathic intention influences those around us.
How can you bring empathy into your daily interactions?
Modified from original post Empathy 101.
The smallest actions can have the greatest impact. Lead by example may sound trite, but it’s true.
Trying to encourage others to follow a set path? The way you act and exist in the world either endears others to you or creates boundaries between who you say you are and the goals you hope to achieve.
The small, daily actions are the most difficult. Yet these “little things” can also be the most rewarding:
A pause before a response.
Treating others with respect.
Making breakfast for a loved one.
Creating platforms for others to succeed.
This is how you show leadership. Day in and day out, through actions and words.
If you’re searching for change, one of the easiest things you can do RIGHT NOW is to evaluate the conversations you are having. Chances are they can use some editing.
Monitor your conversations, both online and off, then prioritize the kind of world you want to live in:
Creation, not lack
Goals, not complaint
Care, not brokenness
Change, not stuckness
The best conversations will be rooted in the question Who do I want to become? These conversations can help you reach goals and dive into deeper levels of living.
First you must find people with similar goals. These are the people you want to spend time with: People who are equally invested in exploration, growth, process, and evolution. Don’t tolerate negativity. Those people who can’t seem to stop talking about others? Refuse to participate. Change topics. Don’t entertain abusive, destructive, or derogatory remarks.
If you can’t find positive people, make adjustments. Be intentional. Use online resources and set boundaries. Time limits can also be helpful.
Think of your conversations as currency. Meetings, phone calls, chats, emails, even text messages. Be strategic about the way in which you invest.
Stop fighting and relax. Instead of trying to confront obstacles head on, look for ease. Can you infuse confrontations with love? Bring fluidity into challenging situations? Maybe you feel stuck. Sometimes desired outcomes happen as a result of less effort, not more.
When you’re feeling the heat at work or at home, weave cool and refreshing resources into the mix. More fire just adds more flames.