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Category: Challenge

Make today uncomfortable

The most memorable moments involve some sort of discomfort; the greatest achievements celebrated because they’re a result of sacrifice and trial. Think: marathons, diplomas, childbirth. Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay’s Everest ascent. Malala Yousafzai. Countless others.

“Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.” – Napoleon Hill

Don’t shy away from the difficult. When you find yourself struggling, uncomfortable, even angry, run into it.

Which weakness is your greatest asset?

This question was posed at a dinner, an exercise in framing.

Our mind is brilliant at creating new definitions, but they’re not always to our advantage — especially when it comes to self. Thoughts can easily turn negative, centering on weakness and deficient. Doubt can color even the most promising of opportunities.

Over any length of time, a constant may acquire a new meaning. For instance, that particular quirk that first drew you to a lover may become irritating and tiresome. The reason you accepted the job in the first place has now become a mundane task. Did the person change? Did the job change? Possibly, but most often our perspective has transformed.

When you can start pinpointing these adjustments in thought, you can use them to your advantage.

Try viewing a particular weakness as a strength; then play the reserve to see how a strength might pose a weakness. Such mind flexibility can spill creative power into design, production, relationships, your work.

The rebellion of questions

As a school girl, I found myself in detention for asking questions. I was threatened to be kicked out of academic programs for challenging authority. You were permitted one question after your name was called, and superiors always had the last word. Too many questions meant insolence, disrespect and delinquency.

The problem is the greatest inventions arise from asking questions. When we dare to ask why, archaic systems can improve and new ways of doing things emerge.

Questions can take courage, and perseverance is sometimes needed to find the right answers. Honest leadership will welcome such speculation and discussion.

Unlearning problematic beliefs

Certain beliefs have been hardwired into our minds. From a very early age, our behavior has been molded by rewards and experiences. Thought patterns have formed impressive grooves onto our brains, so much in fact, that twenty, thirty, even forty years later, these patterns persist — some without us knowing, some incredibly damaging to our progress as human beings.

A few of mine, for example:

As fast as possible is always best (efficiency!).

“Doing nothing” is bad.

Self-sacrifice is noble.

Money means struggle.

I’m not sure what they are for you. They’re not always easy to uncover. Typically the worst ones manifest in subtle ways until slowly, overtime, their cumulative effects create disturbance. This is why thousands of Americans flock to doctors: there’s an issue to fix (depression, anxiety, disinterest, fatigue, high blood pressure, panic). These symptoms can result in lost jobs, broken relationships, low self-esteem, hopelessness or worse.

One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the space and time to look at possible causes of such symptoms. What is the root of the hardships you’re enduring? When you think you’ve identified the issue, push yourself to go even deeper. But please, don’t be afraid to consult a qualified therapist to walk you gently through this potentially dark and lonely forest. The right person can be a light as you find your way home.

It can take months, years to unlearn damaging beliefs. Be patient with yourself and stay focused on what you really want your life to look like. You’re worth it.

“You’re too fast.”

The monks have pointed out I talk fast, walk fast, act fast, eat fast, think fast. This is in stark contrast to everything they do. American culture and competitive spirit has turned me into a shark. I’m afraid that if I stop, I might die.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. Every entrepreneur can wake at 2AM and think of something that needs to be done.

In Nepal, I’m learning two things:

1. Doing nothing is actually something and can be good for you.

2. Slowness is an art.

While many business situations require fast action, there’s equally valid merit from slow decisions and calculated effort.

Acceptance and a face tattoo

Last night I had a dream I got a tattoo. It was a big black tribal symbol winding down the side of my face and neck. Sometimes my hair would hide it, but no amount of accessories or clothing could conceal its dark lines. I spent most of the dream trying to come to terms with it and accept the fact I had this thing permanently etched onto my skin.

I’ve sat with NY Times bestselling authors, farmers in Nepal, Tibetan Buddhists, Wall Street sharks, Italian philosophers and millionaires from California. They all have one thing in common:

Everyone wants something.

I have yet to meet an individual who is 100% honestly, truly satisfied. Everyone has some benchmark they are trying to tip, some element of their life they wish they could change. This is life.

No matter where you are, who you are, how much money you have, or who sleeps next to you, there is something that could be better, easier, more exciting, different. This gap drives who we are and what we do. We spend so much time and energy building, creating, altering and striving that it seems against our nature to be satisfied.

Acceptance is one of those gold terms; if you nail it, you’re rich. Wealth comes from recognizing what cannot be changed and where there is opportunity (of self, of others, the good and bad of what life deals you). If you can work with what you have, you’re well on your way.