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Tag: success

95% of the battle is showing up

Some days you won’t be great. You’ll feel less than your best, you’ll deliver a “B” performance, perhaps even a solid “C.” Your “C” may be someone else’s “A” — maybe not.

Maybe no one notices you’re not your best. Instead, they see you there, present, ready for the job, sitting in the chair, showing up for work.

Statistics begin to lean in your favor. The more ticks you make by simply showing up, the less one day’s performance can disrupt your overall grade. And that’s where the job begins: showing up, day in and day out; giving your all when your “all” can sometimes vary.

True value lies in your persistence, your reliability, your dogged determination to be there, regardless of circumstance.

Honoring the pivot

A pivot can be one of the most powerful moves on the basketball court. Performed correctly, one step can leave an opponent grasping at air, move a player out of a sticky situation, and provide a better perspective of the game.
The move is also recognized as a strategy for entrepreneurs, transforming a borderline idea into a championed achievement (think PayPal, Instagram, Groupon, Nintendo).
In relationships, in business, in career, true success often requires a reroute — or several. Flexibility in thought can mean the difference between mediocrity and a grand slam; however, switching gears isn’t always easy. Anyone who has “abandoned ship” knows ego and pride are at stake. It takes the hearty soul to admit error and take necessary steps to get back on track.
Reframing the abandonment of past work into an advantageous step can pave the way towards long-term gains and a promising future. Course corrections don’t necessarily mean failure. In fact, intentional pivots can lead to a stronger, more resilient, more creative return.
Questions to ask before making a pivot:

  • What is driving the move? Is it hard facts, instinct, boredom, temporary circumstance?
  • If “I win,” what happens? What does success look like to my business, my relationship, my product, myself?
  • Am I making the kind of progress I’d like? Is subpar acceptable or am I looking to go the distance?
  • Am I afraid of failing? Of admitting I’m wrong?
  • What am I holding onto and why?

Big visions require determination and gumption. Inevitably, uncertainly accompanies change. The trick is to remain grounded while altering your course, keeping one foot rooted in place while the other finds new ground.
Start something, figure out what isn’t working, and use what is to move forward. In the end, you won’t know until you try.

Should you be doing that? 6 questions to ask

  1. Is this stealing my time?
  2. Is my attention being diverted from what I actually need to be doing?
  3. Is meaningful communication being traded for superficial connection?
  4. Am I distracted?
  5. Am I using this to procrastinate?
  6. Am I on __[insert favorite social media site here]__ ?

Many activities we participate in happen automatically, impulsively, without much thought. Take stock of your day and observe areas that suck up your time. Tomorrow, make it your mission to claim an extra hour for yourself by eliminating frivolous habits and unnecessary distraction.

My top 6 fundraising tips

When I signed up to raise $9,000 for the Discover Outdoors Foundation, I figured it was going to be work, but I didn’t realize how much. Fundraising is hard. Really, really hard. And it takes more time and effort than you think. A few things I learned:

1. This will be a focused commitment.

You’re fooling yourself if you think people will simply hand over money. They will, but it’s because they love you and/or believe in YOU. You’re going to need all of them — and more — to champion your cause.
Your goal will not happen by itself. Set realistic expectations regarding what you and your team are capable of. It helps to set deadlines with an actionable timeline to make sure you’re on track. Think of it as a battle strategy. You don’t go to war without considering what makes sense first.

2. You have to have tough skin.

You will hear “no.”
When you do, you can let it sting, but you can’t let it stop you. You have to get over rejection.
Most of the time, you will hear nothing. You may need to ask once, twice, three times before someone is receptive to your message. People are busy. Your email may not be on their priority list. They may read your email and think it’s not for them (really). Yes, there is a fine line between sending too many emails and not enough, but you can’t be afraid to find it.
One surprising thing I discovered: some people are jealous. It’s weird, but when you’re doing a good thing and feel energetic and are helping others, there are people who are reminded of what they are not doing and what their life isn’t. Ignore them.
You will find a small group of people who want to see you succeed. They will champion your cause, be your biggest fans. You will need them; they will become your lifeblood. In the moments you want to quit, get carried away by their enthusiasm.

3. Get creative.

The majority of people won’t care. These are the folks you have to work to convert. In order to do so, you can’t say the same thing over and over. You have to mix it up, tell a new story, highlight a new angle, emphasize progress. Keep newsflashes relevant and share updates on not only your fundraising efforts but also the cause you’re supporting.
Research and use the tool that works best for you (Causes, Indiegogo, Kickstarter, Crowdrise). Your social media channels can amplify your efforts, but don’t restrict your creativity to one particular platform. Take it offline through events: happy hours, bake-offs, MYO pizza parties, lawn mowing services…

4. Get personal.

You can’t be afraid to bring your own story into the equation. What is your relationship to the project? Why are you committed? By sharing your enthusiasm, folks will better be able to relate to your efforts and will want to support you in your work. And every new person you meet? Tell them about your project. Mention your fundraising when asked about your work. People feel more inclined to support excitement and passion they witness firsthand.
Your personal story is a good part of what draws in a potential donor. Think of yourself as a magnet.

5. It is not possible to say thank you enough.

People are going out of their way to listen to your message, learn about your cause, and ultimately, choose to back your work. This is not a little thing and deserves much recognition.
Thank each and every individual for their support as many ways as you can (once is probably not enough). Gratitude will keep the momentum behind your project strong. When someone feels recognized and cherished, they will feel more inclined to share your cause with their networks.

6. Build a team.

If you do it right, fundraising is an opportunity to build community, not just raise money. People want to feel part of something. They want to feel connected to you and your success. Involve them throughout the journey and make sure they feel part of the ride. When you win, you win as a team. Go get ’em!

7 cures for the common connector

Everyone is a connector.

You may think you’re not, but you are. We’re all members of tribes, we join groups we’re interested in, we gravitate towards people who are familiar. We’re social creatures.

Just because “Connector” isn’t listed on your resume doesn’t mean you’re lacking these skills. I see connectors in teachers, school counselors, grocery store clerks, fitness leaders, sales executives, jewelry designers, nurses, customer service representatives. Pause for a moment to think of the individuals you connect and have connected in your world. Probably more than you realize.

That’s not to say it’s always easy. Speaking with other connectors, folks whose livelihoods depend on introductions and relationships, I’ve identified struggles most every connector has experienced (myself included).

Whether you identify as a connector, hope to become more of one, or are just looking to get out of your shell, I hope these cures help you become more effective within your social circles.

Cure #1: What’s business, what’s personal, and where to draw the line.

I’ve heard many different views on this. Two extremes: transparent authenticity (revealing everything to everyone with little-to-no filter) and establishing a crisp line between business and personal matters (removing all personal details from professional transactions).

With my own clinical training, I come from a background separating personal details from professional work. I’ve had to recalibrate in order to feel more comfortable sharing personal details in professional settings; however, I do think it is important to establish a difference between “private” and “personal,” and I have seen the value of honest professionalism. Finding the line that works for you makes your style your art.

Cure #2: Not having enough time to give everyone the attention they deserve.

Concentrate on thoughtfulness over quantity. It is impossible to be everything to everybody. Simply trying will frustrate and hinder your relationships with others. Instead, focus on what you can do and identify the boundaries that feel empowering to you.

Clearly explain what you are capable of providing and commit to giving that your all. By setting expectations with those in your networks, you’ll minimize potential for disappointment and confusion. You want mutual understanding and respect to provide the foundation for your relationships, not mixed signals.

Cure #3: You feel insecure — anything but confident — and you’re afraid to let it show.

It’s OK. I’m a big fan of showing up and expressing your humanity. Your “realness” is what makes you you.

Those moments of weakness and vulnerability open doors to connect with others on a deeper level. Yes, there’s a balance between over-sharing and approachability, and it’s different for everyone (see Cure #1). Again, draw your line and confidently own it.

Cure #4: Exhaustion. Endless parties, socializing, conferences, dinner dates, coffee hours, meetings, calls…

You must, must create time to feed your soul. You cannot be effective if you are tired and rundown. Schedule hours on your calendar to be alone. Literally. Block hours throughout your week and invite yourself to time away from emails, gadgets, devices, and obligations. Do things that refuel and energize you: go to yoga, walk outside, write with no specific goal. I like to think you are able to best give to others when your own glass is full.

Cure #5: Remembering names.

This is a biggie and one I struggle with. I’m a visual learner who retains information by doing, so hearing a name once does nothing for me. I’ve found the following to be helpful:

  • Relax during introductions. Stop stressing and focus on the conversation at hand.
  • Admire interesting details. This will help you be present and in the moment.
  • Link story to name. You can also try pairing someone’s first name with an object in the room (Brooklyn-made table Tim, champagne flute Chelsea, spicy Doritos Sarah, Malbec Marvin).
  • Visualize writing the person’s name in a chunky font.

Cure #6: Introductions you don’t quite understand.

People mean well. When you’re seen as someone who connects others, you’re going to receive many, many, many introductions. Sometimes they don’t always make sense — especially in moments of high work volume and pressing deadlines. Graciously thank the person for the introduction and kindly ask them to check in with you before making future recommendations. It’s helpful to have a specific need to relay so the right person can be connected to you. Explicit details are much easier to recall than generic requests (See Cure #5).

Cure #7: Lack of true connection; loneliness.

Some of the most well-connected people are also the most lonely. Having a thick Rolodex means less time with specific individuals, so it’s up to you to parcel your energy with concentrated effort.

Prioritize your personal relationships, show appreciation for your loved ones, and cherish childhood friendships. When you’re with someone, be with them. Turn off the phone and bask in those moments in which your full attention is directed to the conversation at hand. Be willing to expose yourself through open communication, honesty, and fears and faults. You’ll feel closer, more connected, and more giving to those in your communities.

Improving the lives of others often means connecting one resource to another. It might be introducing your neighbor to your plumber, connecting a client needing financial advise, passing along a job listing, exchanging numbers for friends falling in love. We’re filling an ask or searching for the right person to provide the best answer. Our worlds become that much more rich when we add value, and connecting two individuals is an easy way to do that.

For additional discussion on this topic, check out:

Lane’s post on The Curse of the Connector. Sherry’s TED talk “Connected, but alone?” and her NY Times Op-Ed The Flight from Conversation. Robert Kaplan on building strong relationships with principles from his book What You’re Really Meant To Do. Send me a tweet or write me a note with your thoughts.