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Tag: relationships

Letting go: A skill

Most people hold onto relationships or situations longer than necessary. Stability is appealing, and change is hard. Loyalty has the potential to be faulty, however, and should be reserved for situations that show promise and potential. Even reciprocity.

We have limited energy to share. Learning to discard situations and environments with insight and discretion is a necessary skill. Maintaining energetic ties with people who are rude, mean, or unkind serves nothing and no one.

Releasing stale, stagnant people and places welcomes more power, more magic, more energy, and more love into your life. Though difficult, it is never too late to recognize and change behavior patterns.

That which you focus on is what will expand.

What is your ROI?

What if more time to create is more valuable than being busy?

If fewer appointments means you’re killing it?

If a handful of quality contacts is a better value add than a list of unknown names?

If an increase in daily smiles means you’re on fire?

If having fun at work isn’t an exception but your norm?

If more “likes” and more engagements happen offline?

If your stats and monitoring include an emotional, or even a spiritual, component?

If you schedule monthly check-ins not only with your team members but also with friends and family?

Entrepreneurship has become woven with unhealthy beliefs that may not necessarily serve you. Take stock over your definitions of success and have the courage to investigate what kind of ROI you’re wanting to achieve.

Career counseling

I was asked to speak to a group of Nepali students on “Career counseling.” I wrote a few things down.

When you’re uncertain, you’re uncomfortable. No one likes being uncomfortable. That’s why we go to doctors to get medicine instead of taking vitamins.

In addition to telling you to take vitamins and take good care of your health, I’m going to tell you to make mistakes.

Yup, you heard me. Mistakes. Galti. Galti haaru. 

Lots of them.

See, we think that once we graduate and get a degree, we will have a good paying job and maybe a family to look after. This perfect recipe will bring happiness and joy, maybe even success or fame, and definitely enough money to take a vacation once in awhile.

It rarely works that way.

In fact, the happiest moments in life will come after devastating blows, points when you convince yourself you have made a bunch of mistakes that can never and will never be fixed.

These winding, dark roads reveal who you are and what you are capable of.

Before I came to Nepal, I was living in New York City. In a pretty decent apartment next to Central Park. I was working in advertising with unique clients, and some of them were famous people. But I wasn’t 100% satisfied. I had gone to Columbia University for my Masters in Social Work, yet I didn’t feel like I was making the contribution I was meant to. I was doing interesting work, sure, but I didn’t feel like I was helping people who really needed it. I knew there was something more.

After a bad breakup and nights sleeping on friends’ couches, I found myself trekking to Everest Base Camp. I ended up volunteering after the trek and saw things in Nepal I couldn’t walk away from. Bit by bit, I set out to learn more about Nepali culture.

I used my social work degree to understand more about systems and community.

I practiced empathy I learned as a probation officer to listen to people’s stories, hear their worries and stresses and pain.

I used my experiences in advertising to come up with plans.

And then I used my professional and personal connections to fundraise money to start Learning House, which maybe some of you have heard about.

My life was set into an entirely new track. All because I was open. I wasn’t fixed on a particular goal, but I knew what I wanted and what I was good at.

I knew I liked bringing people together in unique and fun ways, and that I wanted to encourage leadership and education.

I knew that I wanted to create and make things. I also knew that I wanted to be my own boss, but that I wanted to work alongside fun, energetic, and passionate people.

Nothing is impossible. Especially not with the internet at your hands.

Now, I’m able to work as a travel writer and freelancer to pay my own bills and keep Learning House going.

I am able to keep in touch with friends and mentors all over the world.

I can get business advice when I’m totally confused (remember, my training is in psychology and social work, but I am happy to say that I will be entering an alt MBA online program in a few months).

So, what’s my point?

Find people whose lives you admire. People who you want to be like. Then copy them. Ask them questions. What keeps them going? What motivates them? Where do they find inspiration? Set up an informational interview: Ask them for fifteen minutes of their time, write down a list of questions, and go to their office to meet them. Leave after fifteen minutes, not a minute more, then send a thank you note to them afterwards.

Always stay grateful.

You never know where life will take you. You never know who you will meet or how they might help you later on down the line. We have a saying, “Don’t burn bridges.” Watch your mouth, how to speak to others — and how you speak to yourself. You are your biggest advocate and cheerleader. Be positive to yourself and to those around you.

It may sound cliche, but you really can do anything you set your mind to.

Including building a learning center from nothing.

Make mistakes. Galti haru.

Fight fire with water

Stop fighting and relax. Instead of trying to confront obstacles head on, look for ease. Can you infuse confrontations with love? Bring fluidity into challenging situations? Maybe you feel stuck. Sometimes desired outcomes happen as a result of less effort, not more.

When you’re feeling the heat at work or at home, weave cool and refreshing resources into the mix. More fire just adds more flames.

Want to leave a lasting impression? Do this.

People want to be snapped out of their reverie. They want something different, something new. They want the unexpected to happen.

And this is why most people’s faces are tucked into their devices, mindlessly scrolling. They are searching for meaning. They want to find something that makes them feel. Anything — A photo, a comment, a message, a piece of news that makes their pulse quicken and heart skip.

What if I told you that you could be that pulse-quickener? That this is where your strongest and biggest power lives: Your ability to be somebody’s unexpected.

You could be the moment that brightens someone’s day.

This doesn’t have to be a huge, grandiose gesture. You don’t need extra time or effort. A simple hello. A thoughtful email. A friendly phone call. A message of encouragement.

Here are five more tangible ideas:

  • Walk across the room and compliment a stranger.
  • Pick up your phone and call a distant friend.
  • Order and send lunch to a colleague.
  • Leave flowers in your office.
  • Hide a note for someone to find.

Though these small moments may feel risky, a place where you open yourself up to the world, a position of vulnerability, it is in those exact places where the unforgettable lies.