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Tag: relationships

3 tips to make your meeting count

Tip #1: If you’re looking to connect meaningfully, place the other before you.

Most successful people are busy people. They’ve carved time out of their day to meet with you. Time is a resource neither party can redeem after you’ve parted ways. Be considerate.

After every meeting, thank each and every person for their contribution and time. A follow up thank you builds rapport and communicates respect, paving the way towards a meaningful connection. Your thank you also provides an opportunity to make sure your intent and needs have been clearly communicated.

Tip #2: People cannot help you if they don’t know how.

“I’m looking for a job” will quickly place you into a forgotten drawer of miscellaneous. However, confidently stating, “I’m looking to support locally owned restaurants with sustainable missions” positions you in a specific category, making your ask an easy recall. Guess who will be first in mind when any kind of opportunity in the health, wellness, hospitality, sustainable industries pops up? Be specific and know what you want. People generally want to see you succeed and will help if they know how.

Tip #3: Jazzy Jane from Toledo is sitting by the cheese dip.

Effective networking and memorable impressions go hand in hand. It’s like learning names. Create a colorful story when you first meet someone, and you’ll have an easier time asking them to pass the salad bowl.

What characteristics separate you from the crowd? Practice telling your unique narrative to a friend. If you aren’t comfortable making your remarkable presence known, chances are high that you won’t during your meeting, either.

15 things that can happen when you meet the right person

  1. You are encouraged to continue your plan.
  2. Your beliefs are questioned, challenged, possibly scrutinized.
  3. New solutions are brainstormed, and different outcomes to existing situations are imagined.
  4. A new approach is considered.
  5. You learn something about yourself and/or the world.
  6. You are prompted to change, grow, create, question.
  7. Unexpected commonalities are uncovered.
  8. Mutual beliefs are shared and exchanged.
  9. An authentic emotional exchange takes place.
  10. Meaningful conversation occurs, and a deep connection is experienced by both individuals.
  11. A deep respect develops.
  12. Your confidence is strengthened.
  13. You are inspired to explore a new path.
  14. Additional introductions manifest as a result of the meeting.
  15. The meeting leaves you with energy — with new ideas, zest for life, passion.

20 questions to ask as you enter a new year

They work best if you’re honest:

  1. Am I holding onto any beliefs that aren’t serving me?
  2. What do I want to learn this year?
  3. Have I set any long-term goals?
  4. Are my daily decisions setting me up for success?
  5. Do my present priorities accurately reflect my innermost dreams and desires?
  6. Is my work fulfilling my creative desires?
  7. Am I creating time to pursue outside interests?
  8. Do I regularly allow myself to dream?
  9. Is there a specific topic I can learn more about that will help advance my career?
  10. Have I surrounded myself with people who can help me achieve my goals (and encourage me to get there)?
  11. Are my personal relationships fulfilling?
  12. How do I want to be introduced when meeting strangers?
  13. Do I take an active interest in my health?
  14. How can I regularly create a supportive, positive environment for myself?
  15. What lessons have I learned from past failures and mistakes?
  16. What decisions have I made that that support my belief in my own aptitude?
  17. Do I believe that I have art/work/products that will benefit the world?
  18. Am I becoming more of the person I hope to be?
  19. What is preventing me from change?
  20. How can I start today?

36 lessons from NYC

In no particular order:

  1. You can walk as fast as you want, but you won’t get anywhere without considering those around you.
  2. On your worst days, something (or someone) will surprise you and show you kindness in ways you’d never expect.
  3. On your best days, something (or someone) will knock you down, humble you, and disappoint you in ways you’d never expect.
  4. There’s always someone better than you.
  5. There’s always someone with less than you.
  6. Find something to be grateful for every day.
  7. A smile can disarm anyone.
  8. You’ll only be happy if you’re true to yourself.
  9. You are defined by the company you keep.
  10. You have the ability to reinvent yourself. Every day.
  11. Most of the limits you see are created in your own mind. Sprint past them when possible and refuse to get in your own way.
  12. Relationships take work.
  13. There is someone for everyone.
  14. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Look for this beauty in everyone you meet.
  15. Set aside time to nurture those who are important to you.
  16. Communities are essential. No matter your interests, there is one for you.
  17. Learn how to set boundaries and take care of yourself.
  18. Prioritize.
  19. You can view each day as a battlefield or a marvelous adventure. Your choice.
  20. There is always more money to be earned. Learn to be content with what you have.
  21. You probably have more than you need.
  22. You will be tested. Eventually, you will realize you are capable of much more than you think.
  23. Grocery stores don’t need to accommodate small cars. People get along just fine with handbaskets.
  24. It doesn’t matter what it looks like or how many square feet, home is where the heart is.
  25. Movie stars are people, too.
  26. You can put your body through some really grueling activities. It’s capable of amazing things. Be kind to it. You only get one.
  27. Get a bike. And get a damn good lock. If you don’t have a good lock, carry your front tire with you.
  28. It doesn’t matter how cute your shoes are, they better be comfortable and durable.
  29. The outdoors are closer than you think. Don’t neglect blue skies and trees.
  30. There is no reason to eat shitty food.
  31. Challenge yourself to find something new and try something new regularly.
  32. Refuse to settle.
  33. There are plenty of jobs. If you don’t like the one you have, life is too short to waste another day.
  34. Be open — to possibilities, different opinions, new ideas, different beliefs, new opportunities. If you are willing, your world will explode with options. Your choice.
  35. Everyone is creative. Express it in your own way.
  36. You really can create the life you want.

Empathy 101

Create one mandated course for high school students nationwide. What does it include?

At a recent dinner, this was one of the prompts for group discussion. Without hesitation, my mind sounded one clear word.

Empathy.

  • The ability to reference another’s perspective, considering their experiences and worldview, in order to better understand behavior and intention.
  • “Putting yourself in their shoes.”
  • The capacity to recognize another’s emotions and experiences, closing the gap between self and other.
  • Identifying a [valuable] perspective different than your own
  • Requires: self awareness, confidence, openness (personal traits)
  • Requires: listening, open communication, careful observation (communication skills)
  • NOT sympathy
  • NOT pity
  • Often a precursor to compassion
  • Integral for collaborations, understanding, effective and worthwhile discussions, conflict resolution

Ask me to summarize my clinical training into one concept and this would be it.

Harry Prosen defines empathy as “an emotional understanding which allows one as a therapist to resonate with one’s patients in depth emotionally, so that it influences the therapeutic approach and alliance with the patient.”

Yet empathy belongs in more places than clinical environments. We need it in our schools, our personal lives, our government, our businesses. We need to practice it on a daily basis and teach our children to do the same. We must find ways to listen, to converse, and to respond in ways that are considerate and cognizant of the person sitting across the table.

We get into trouble when we are unable to see us in them. This is when valuable information is lost and we lose the opportunity to connect in a new way. Empathy reminds us of our collective humanity.

If you’ve noticed, the best businesses are conducted in an empathic way. The best connections are formed when two parties consider the other’s frame of reference. When empathy is involved, relationships flourish, conversations become meaningful, and solutions address the heart of the real problem.

It’s never too late to learn, and you don’t need a special appointment or degree to practice awareness. Can you bring empathy into your interactions today?

“Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person, the divine energy in the other person, the life that’s alive in them.” —Marshall Rosenberg

 

your dream job is on your desk

What if someone told you that you missed the boat? That the golden ticket to a beautiful home, a happy heart, and an adventurous life was in your back pocket?

What would happen if your phone rang and your boss declared you an asset to the company? If the grocery store clerk looked straight into your eyes and called you a visionary?

What if you found out that “perfect moment” you’ve been waiting for already happened?

What if…

It’s time to find out.

I’ve designed a new offering — part seminar, mentoring circle, book club, networking accelerator, an experience like no other — to challenge you to think beyond “what if” and start venturing into this is it. The first session begins after the holiday season, so you can launch your dreams and your life in a whole new way in 2013.

Learn more about the why and the what here.