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Tag: relationships

12 questions to get past small talk and find out what really matters at networking events

Gone are the days where weather, food and family are the only acceptable topics of discussion at networking events. People yearn for connection and crave something that makes them feel alive.

The people who attract strangers at a party lure with conversations of quality, not quantity. These individuals are passionate, focused and giving, and speaking to them can challenge and inspire you to become your best self.

(You, too, can become one of these people!)

Consider the following questions for your next social engagement:

1. What inspires you?
2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?
3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?
5. What does your perfect day look like?
6. What would “your book” be about?
7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?
8. What are you afraid of?
9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?
10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?
11. Where are you stuck?
12. How can I help?

Click here to read 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk, originally posted on May 7, 2013.

3 things I learned starting a social enterprise in Nepal

Yesterday I had the honor of addressing attendees of Skövde Business Week. I presented my experiences founding the Learning House, a center devoted to education, leadership and community in Western Nepal. To hear my full talk, click this link.
I believe “A rising tide lifts all boats.” I don’t think scientific research is needed to show that more educated and competent citizens lead to more talented business recruits who in turn create better, more effective businesses. Getting the tide to rise is the difficult part.
My work has taught me the following:

  1. Travel through life curious.
  2. Extend yourself to another.
  3. Ask questions.

When we become fixed on an end result, we tend to lose beautiful opportunities along the way. Had I not allowed myself to explore Nepal, to be open to promise and potential and brokenness, I would have missed some truly profound moments. Since arriving in 2013, I have seen many volunteers come and go; some are so focused on their defined role as Volunteer Teacher they fail to look beyond designated responsibilities and connect with the people they came to serve in the first place.
We dig trenches around ourselves. They’re deepened by societal roles and professional delegations. Our personal selves and true passions become hidden from colleagues, friends, even our families. The irony is that when we move beyond these lines and reach out to each other, we forge meaningful relationships and experience life more deeply. This is when we win.
Finally, ask questions. Your colleague, your neighbor, your grandmother, your client. Who are they? Where are they going? Can you help? It’s impossible to solve problems and brainstorm solutions without taking time to listen. The most successful companies (and people!) are the ones listening — and they’re shifting, giving, adapting and changing in ways that show they care.

You have something precious

Several months ago I had the pleasure of speaking on the ChapterBe podcast. I talked about how I ended up in Nepal and lessons I’ve learned along the way. It was a great interview, punctuated with street dogs barking in the background.

The podcast highlights stories of people living across the globe who have made a commitment to live authentically, passionately, and with conviction. I was honored to be included.

We all have unique skills and stories that lead us down winding, magical roads. From the moment we wake up until our heads again find rest, our bodies are catapulted across spectacular terrain. Mothers feed families and dream of their children’s futures, fathers are forced to make decisions based upon their own life challenges, sons dare to become better than their parents, and daughters fight to turn dreams into reality.

My point is this: the lessons you’ve learned and the challenges you’ve overcome could help someone else facing a similar predicament. Have the courage to share.

Hiring and firing can make or break you

I had to make some difficult decisions this week. A few team players haven’t been pulling their weight, so after several discussions trying to find the root of the problem, we had to have The Conversation.

There are moments to recognize when it’s time to move on. Passions may be mismatched, vision lost, energy depleted. Firing doesn’t need to reflect an individual’s potential; in fact, letting someone go gives them permission to find the position that will bring them prosperity and happiness (if it was the role at hand, the conversation would probably not be taking place to begin with).

The right team can catapult your project to success while a mismanaged bunch can send even the best, most meticulous plans to the gutter. It’s important to identify an individual’s motives and skills; it’s equally important to remember that even the more alluring incentives may not work.

One of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life is who you spend time with. Friends, colleagues and spouses have significant power over you. If you’ve ever worked in an office where colleagues were dismal and did barely what was needed to get by, you know the feeling you get when you’re around energy suckers. Or if you’ve been in a relationship that’s failed to meet your needs and validate you as a remarkable being, you’ve experienced that temporary loss of personal strength and clarity. It’s hard to create and build and dream when these kinds of people fill your days.

When you have the power to assemble a team, choose wisely, and have the compassion and empathy to recognize when it’s not working. Then, with kindness and care, let the other person go.

The responsibility to connect

We have tools at our fingertips to connect and unite. Different levels of support, layers of talent, examples to reference. With access comes choice.
What if “connecting” was an obligation? Would you make that call? Send that email? Reprioritize your schedule?
Your introduction could match a promising worker with an employer in need, build a bridge for a new partnership, make someone’s work a little easier.
Often, it isn’t a lack of opportunity or awareness but of willingness.

5 ways to be a great manager

Managing people is hard. I think this is why there are so many bad bosses. Now that I’m leading a team of my own, I’ve realized how much skill goes into becoming a great manager.

While leadership traits may come naturally to some, managers can make the effort to create cohesive, hardworking teams and establish workplaces filled with satisfied employees.

Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile. -Vince Lombardi

My top 5 tips for successful managerial roles:

1. Great managers find out what makes a person tick. Instead of hiring for a position and letting an individual fend for themselves, a good manager asks questions, learns about the person’s history and experience to determine what motivates that person to do their best work.

2. Great managers are like social workers. They not only consider the work environment, but they consider their employees’ home and personal life, too. If a worker consistently shows up late for work, a bad manager is quick to fire; however, a good manager asks questions to figure out the problem and address underlying difficulties.

3. Great managers aren’t afraid to shuffle positions and redefine roles. Sometimes you hire someone who isn’t a fit for the duties you need performed, but you discover they excel in other ways. A great manager spots talent and builds an environment to cultivate it.

4. Great managers make employees feel good. Employees want to feel valued and part of a team. Every worker wants to be respected and utilized. Using rewards and incentives and delegating responsibility, great managers create team cohesion and satisfaction among team members.

5. Great managers exhibit the skills and behaviors they hope their employees display. Communication is open, direct and straight forward. Skilled leaders observe and take time to respond to situations instead of reacting to circumstance. They display kindness, fairness and enthusiasm. They ask questions if they don’t know.