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Tag: relationships

Alone: fuel for you

A client asked me for my top recommendation for those feeling lost and seeking direction. My answer is simple: be alone. Being alone is one of the best steps you can take to improve yourself, your relationships, even your business. Making time to be by yourself can give you new energy to bring to your work and your loved ones, and the revelations that come in quiet moments often have huge implications. Space alone can be the fuel you need to tackle projects with zest and be the best partner you can be.
But it can be tricky to carve out time for yourself, especially with family and work obligations. Be gentle and honest when you ask for this space. You don’t need to go into details with your boss; a simple “I need to take tomorrow morning for myself” is fine.
Please don’t confuse “loneliness” with “time alone.” Moments by yourself on a walk, in the car, at the library can bring to you answers to questions you might not find when surrounded by others. Some people crave alone time more than others and enjoy independence; others need less of it. Remove judgement and revel in the time you’ve carved out for yourself, and if you can, take away any expectations for what the time should bring. Often, answers come when you least expect it.

Why we must never give up hope

There is always someone to fight for.

There is always a reason to move forward.

There is always a voice that needs to be heard.

There is always a cause that demands attention.

There is always work to be done.

Give someone who needs it extra support today: a hug, a hello, a coffee, a flower, a smile, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a kind hand. We are all neighbors in this life. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”

Choose love even when you think you can’t afford to, when you can’t see light, when you feel the shadows have won. For that’s when you must fight. Fight to love. Fight to hope.

10 unpleasant things that are actually good for you

Sticking to a schedule – Having a reliable structure gives you the space to create and dream. The same routine again and again might sound boring, but repetition contributes to mastery and improved skills.

Failing – Disappointments test your motivation and resolve. Failures can encourage you to try again and come back stronger.

Heartbreak – Great lessons can be learned from failed relationships, and the period following a breakup or divorce is ripe for self improvement and discovery.

Rejection – Didn’t get that job or promotion you were hoping for? Ask yourself hard questions and analyze yourself through a more critical lens.

Running/Sprinting/Lifting weights – It will hurt at first, but imagine a healthier, fitter body and mind and get yourself out the door.

Practice tests – Repetition and preparation are cornerstones to success. Improve by doing. Even when it’s annoying.

Being broke – You’ll learn how to budget and save when those last dollars leave your wallet.

Not understanding – Asking questions builds empathy and keeps you curious.

Embarrassment – Moments of humility yield trust and compassion.

Hard work – Put in effort, get results. The best outcomes require time, discipline and focus — and rarely happen overnight.

Travel and volunteering

Travel isn’t just about a place, it’s about the people you meet along the way, and volunteering can be a wonderful way to connect. Not only will you learn more about the community, their culture, their struggles and their celebrations, you can help in a meaningful way — perhaps even leave a lasting impact.

But as a traveler, you have responsibility. You have responsibility for the choices you make, the businesses you support, the money you bring into a country and spend. For this reason, “voluntourism” programs are on the rise, hoping to capitalize on the hearts and checkbooks of do-gooders.

How do you find the right organization to volunteer with? Don’t be afraid of asking questions: what you’ll be doing, how you’ll be providing support, where your fees go. Be realistic about your skills and abilities and be open to the many different experiences that come along with entering a new culture. You may find yourself in potentially uncomfortable situations. Yes, pack your essentials and bring a few comforts to remind you of home, but don’t make comfort your first priority.

In travel and in business, put people first and be willing to step beyond the familiar.

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

Summer dining (invite only)

Invitations will soon go out for July’s dinner event in New York City. You must be on the list to be considered. Seating is limited to preserve quality of conversation. Individuals from a range of business sectors are brought together to discuss success (and failure), mentorship and art.

Networking events often attract professionals from similar industries. Our dinners aim to bring together complementary experiences, contrasting ideas, and professionals at different stages in their careers to enhance participants’ views and encourage meaningful work.

Past attendees have met business partners, friends and people to bounce ideas off of. The dinners have been described as “Such a valuable moment for me. I walked away with new tools for my work and a new perspective,” “An evening to remember! The connections were magical.” and “Unforgettable stories, inspiring.”

Michelle will be hosting the July dinner. For questions, please send an email to info@projectexponential.com.