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Tag: growth

Stop trying to find your passion; do something nice for someone instead.

There’s a lot of pressure out there to “do meaningful work,” “find your bliss” and “unleash your passion.” We’re lucky to live in a time and place where we have the opportunity to make choices; choices about where we work, who we work for, what we do to make money, who we date, where we buy groceries, what we learn, which book to read.
The decisions we face on a daily basis are countless; oftentimes, overwhelming. Undergraduates stress over which major to declare; the seasoned professional has multiple job offers on the table and doesn’t know which one to pick. Like the grocery store aisle with boxes upon boxes of cereal, it’s easy to go with the tried-tested-and-true or to simply, walk away. This paradox of choice can leave us stale, uninspired, imprisoned.
Today, throw it out the window: the pro/con lists, the should’s and must’s, the cost-benefit analysis and the What Will They Think Of Me insecurities. Just for today, put yourself on the sidelines and place someone else before you. It doesn’t have to be a huge, grandiose gesture. Be kind.
Volunteer. Read to a child. Surprise someone with flowers. Pack a lunch for a co-worker.
For more ideas, including buying coffee for the next person in line or supporting an entrepreneur in a developing country, click here.

Mistakes

Screw ups. Everyone makes them. They’re part of the creative process, embedded into music, wired into our brain. So why is it so difficult to let go of them?

Redefining “mistake” turns dirt into gold. When you trade in unrealistic expectations and begin to cherish the unexpected, you gain valuable opportunities and news ways of seeing the world around you.

Tweet me: How do you define mistakes? What have you learned from them? Have you been surprised by an imperfect outcome or erroneous decision?

7 steps to find your purpose

“How do I find my purpose?” I hear this one a lot. It’s a big question, and in Western society, a lot of weight is placed on the answer. When I came across mine, I wasn’t looking. In fact, I had given up the pro/con lists and analysis charts, and I donated “What Color Is Your Parachute?” to the local bookstore. I very well understood what I did and did not like. I knew exactly what caused me pain and what made me feel good. I knew that giving to others and serving communities made me feel at ease and alive and redirected self-absorption away from myself and onto something positive.

While the path to finding purpose is hardly straight and narrow, there are steps you can take to find your way.

1. Know what you’re good at.
This requires a bit of truth-telling on your part. If you have dreams of joining the MLS but lack coordination and athleticism, it might not be the best use of your energy to focus on what’s unattainable. Instead, consider the skills and talents you do have. What do you do well? What are you known for? Ask a friend if you need help identifying your plus points.

2. Know what you hate.
Sometimes knowing what you DO NOT LIKE is easier than figuring out what you do. It’s pretty straight-forward if you have a visceral reaction to something, and you know when you dislike a certain kind of work. It’s simple: don’t like it, don’t do it.

3. Identify your “non-negotiables.”
This is a phrase often used by matchmaking extraordinaire Patti Stanger. Not only can identifying a list of “must-haves” in a mate help you find The One, it can also help you find The Work. The process forces you to drill down those items that are most important to you while simultaneously reminding you of the fact there will always be shortcomings. No situation is perfect. Compromise and exchange is inherent to the most valuable relationships and life experiences. You will have to give up something in order to do the kind of work you love. What that something is depends on you.

4. Change your environment.
From the clients I’ve worked with, the ones most looking for their purpose are the ones feeling the most stuck. Altering your environment can help. It doesn’t need to be a trip around the world. Changing the furniture in your office, hanging new paintings, even going for long walks can freshen your perspective.

5. Establish routine.
This sounds counterintuitive, but creating a daily routine builds the framework to invite sparks of imagination into your world. It’s like a creative brief: without one, creative people go crazy. Provide a bit of guidance, however, and ideas can be channeled in such a way that finished projects satisfy and delight clients. You also need structure to feel good. Eat frequent meals, sleep at consistent times, exercise regularly. Having a schedule will give your mind a break in routine areas so it can focus on what really matters.

6. Realize nothing is perfect.
Even when you do find the work that makes you come alive, there will be days that feel like death. Once you realize this, there is less pressure on daily ups and downs, and you can relax into projects that bring you satisfaction. I’m not talking about settling, I’m talking about coming to terms with moments that are challenging and hard (typically these tumultuous times are good for you, serving to recommit yourself to your purpose).

7. Don’t stop.
Don’t quit. Don’t give up. You’re too important. The world needs you.

Odds

fail try fail try try try SUCCESS fail fail fail try almost try try try made it try fail try SUCCESS try fail try SUCCESS try fail fail try almost made it try fail try SUCCESS try try try try SUCCESS fail SUCCESS fail try SUCCESS fail fail fail try try fail try fail try fail SUCCESS try try almost try SUCCESS made it fail fail fail try try fail almost try try fail try fail SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS fail try try try try try try SUCCESS try fail try fail try made it try fail fail try try SUCCESS try almost try try try fail try SUCCESS

(Try often, fail often, and your odds of winning increase. You never know when you’re going to hit.)

 

 

Trying less, not more

“Try is best” somehow evolved into “try harder.” If we don’t get the results we’ve set out for, it is a direct reflection of the work we’ve put forth. No success? You must’ve done something wrong. You didn’t reach the bar, you don’t measure up, you didn’t work HARD enough.

The irony is life seems to expand when you relax the muscles you’ve been stressing for so long. No only can constriction lead to strain and injury, it prohibits freedom and creativity and even limits the breath. There are moments and situations it’s not about your effort at all; it’s more about relaxing and letting go.

Like the “cool kid,” something about him is magnetic, we can’t help but stay away (Because we all think he isn’t trying; in reality, however, he’s trying very, very hard.).

So where is that middle balance between working like a dog and easing into it? What if the growth comes from easing off the gas, driving a little more relaxed and enjoying the road? It seems THAT is when success comes. And people can’t help but stay away.

Ten times better

A “little better” doesn’t cut it. You have to be much better. Much, much better. Ten times better.
This is how you separate yourself from the competition.
This is how you improve.
This is how you win.
Everything is crowded. The marketplace, the speaker lineup, the dating scene, the applicant pool.
In an age where your value corresponds to your ability to separate yourself from the rest, your focus must narrow on becoming your best version.
A notch doesn’t tip the scale. Throw your weight around and put full effort into your vision.
Your best self and your most original idea depend on it.
(H/T David S. Kidder. I presented Startup Playbook to college students in Nepal last week, and they loved it.)