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Tag: goals

If you feel like giving up

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at it: there’s a moment you feel like quitting, throwing in the towel, giving up. Seth Godin penned the journey “The Dip” and believes we too often quit the wrong things at the wrong time. Knowing the difference between staying put and moving on can help us find success both professionally and personally.

The truth is that everything new is always fun: relationships, jobs, projects, cars, clothes, music, movies, towns, school. You name it. Then, over time, it gets boring or hard and you find yourself at a point you can’t be bothered to care at all.

This is when professionals step away from hobbyists: they remain focused, trim off the frayed edges and keep going. And if they do quit, they do it in a way that’s strategic and thoughtful. Champions devote themselves to causes that matter and subscribe to the notion that the bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward.

According to Angela Lee Duckworth, the ability to tough it out and stay put is the closest indicator we have of success. The names we don’t hear about, the people who fail to make an impact, quit too early. They never made it to the intersection of do-or-don’t, or they never found the right problems to solve to begin with.

So, if you’re in a rut and feel like quitting, here are four points to consider before you make any decisions:

Remember when you started.
As a founder, there’s always something to be done. I don’t think I’ve had an empty “to-do list” in over three years. That’s why when I want to hop in a plane back to America, I take a second to recognize how far we’ve come. There was a point I was scrubbing floors and felt a constant film of construction dust on my teeth. Now, our little Learning House is a lively center with classes and students and seminars.

Think about the challenges you’ve overcome to get where you are today and be proud.

Why are you doing this?
We’re all human. God knows I’ve had moments I’ve had to talk myself out of bed and out the door. I’ve gone through weeks of daily internal debates: Am I effective? Should I keep going?

Sometimes, our original goal becomes a blurry dot on the horizon. For whatever reason — projects, donors, grants, social responsibilities — we’ve moved away from that original purpose that gave us meaning, the work that first brought us joy.

Can you remember your original spark? That first flash of inspiration, the smile of someone’s life changed? Ask yourself: the mission you’ve devoted yourself to, is it worth it? If the scale tips in favor, keep going.

Know it won’t always be easy.
When you can accept that grey days are part of the color spectrum, you can relax into rutty moments.
About one year ago, a South Bronx school principal found herself in the Oval office with President Obama. She asked, “When is the time you felt most broken?”

He described his 1999 Congress run. He lost. Bad. He felt old, ineffective, and his relationship with his wife was on the rocks.

“The thing that got me through that moment, and any other time that I’ve felt stuck, is to remind myself that it’s about the work. Because if you’re worrying about yourself — if you’re thinking: ‘Am I succeeding? Am I in the right position? Am I being appreciated?’ then you’re going to end up feeling frustrated and stuck.”
Focus on your work and what needs to be done.

Take a break.
We’re people, not machines. Create space to renew and energize, step away from obligations and responsibilities. Even though you’re a leader doesn’t mean you’re always strong! Watch a movie, go for a long walk, call a friend.
Social work can take an impact on your mental and emotional health. It can be helpful to connect with someone who can empathize with your struggles and keep you on track.

Then, chin up, shoulders back, stand tall. Keep going. The world needs you. We need you.

Unique opportunity: private coaching

In the past, I helped a few individuals polish their story, set doable goals and learn techniques to live a more colorful, energetic life. Then I went to Nepal and started a small learning center.

Space has –yes!– opened up in my schedule, and I’m able to take on one or two new coaching clients.

If you seem to have roadblocks you can’t get past or want to set some projects into motion, maybe I can help. I’ve worked with writers and entrepreneurs, seasoned business folk and career changers (you can read some recommendations here).

I use practical exercises to help you find what works best for YOU. This won’t work if you expect me to tell you what I think you should do. We’ll use Google chat and Viber to connect, and your emails will move to the top of my priority list so we can measure your progress and hold you accountable.

Because of the time and dedication I commit to the people I work with, I can only accept two new clients.

To apply, please click here.

If we’re a good match, I’ll send details about our work together and how we’ll get started.

More about me:

I’m a social worker who made the leap from government work into corporate branding before landing into the entrepreneurial world of startups and marketing. Relying on my experiences and the acumen of former clients and colleagues, I’m happy to share what I’ve learned:

  • business strategy and brand proposition
  • how to market and engage audiences
  • starting big projects and setting achievable goals

I love watching people succeed. Let’s accomplish some dreams together.

6 questions to help you find time for anything

I often hear friends complaining about time. No one seems to have enough of it, much less extra to spare on a passion project.

If you find yourself in this category and long for more hours in the day, consider:

  1. How much time do you spend on Facebook?
  2. What do you do during the first hour of your day?
  3. Is there an electronic device in your bedroom?
  4. Do you often perform several tasks at once?
  5. Has a day-planner or calendar become routine?
  6. Do you make lists?

Get honest with yourself and find time to start knocking down some of your goals, ASAP.

Mistakes

Screw ups. Everyone makes them. They’re part of the creative process, embedded into music, wired into our brain. So why is it so difficult to let go of them?

Redefining “mistake” turns dirt into gold. When you trade in unrealistic expectations and begin to cherish the unexpected, you gain valuable opportunities and news ways of seeing the world around you.

Tweet me: How do you define mistakes? What have you learned from them? Have you been surprised by an imperfect outcome or erroneous decision?

7 steps to find your purpose

“How do I find my purpose?” I hear this one a lot. It’s a big question, and in Western society, a lot of weight is placed on the answer. When I came across mine, I wasn’t looking. In fact, I had given up the pro/con lists and analysis charts, and I donated “What Color Is Your Parachute?” to the local bookstore. I very well understood what I did and did not like. I knew exactly what caused me pain and what made me feel good. I knew that giving to others and serving communities made me feel at ease and alive and redirected self-absorption away from myself and onto something positive.

While the path to finding purpose is hardly straight and narrow, there are steps you can take to find your way.

1. Know what you’re good at.
This requires a bit of truth-telling on your part. If you have dreams of joining the MLS but lack coordination and athleticism, it might not be the best use of your energy to focus on what’s unattainable. Instead, consider the skills and talents you do have. What do you do well? What are you known for? Ask a friend if you need help identifying your plus points.

2. Know what you hate.
Sometimes knowing what you DO NOT LIKE is easier than figuring out what you do. It’s pretty straight-forward if you have a visceral reaction to something, and you know when you dislike a certain kind of work. It’s simple: don’t like it, don’t do it.

3. Identify your “non-negotiables.”
This is a phrase often used by matchmaking extraordinaire Patti Stanger. Not only can identifying a list of “must-haves” in a mate help you find The One, it can also help you find The Work. The process forces you to drill down those items that are most important to you while simultaneously reminding you of the fact there will always be shortcomings. No situation is perfect. Compromise and exchange is inherent to the most valuable relationships and life experiences. You will have to give up something in order to do the kind of work you love. What that something is depends on you.

4. Change your environment.
From the clients I’ve worked with, the ones most looking for their purpose are the ones feeling the most stuck. Altering your environment can help. It doesn’t need to be a trip around the world. Changing the furniture in your office, hanging new paintings, even going for long walks can freshen your perspective.

5. Establish routine.
This sounds counterintuitive, but creating a daily routine builds the framework to invite sparks of imagination into your world. It’s like a creative brief: without one, creative people go crazy. Provide a bit of guidance, however, and ideas can be channeled in such a way that finished projects satisfy and delight clients. You also need structure to feel good. Eat frequent meals, sleep at consistent times, exercise regularly. Having a schedule will give your mind a break in routine areas so it can focus on what really matters.

6. Realize nothing is perfect.
Even when you do find the work that makes you come alive, there will be days that feel like death. Once you realize this, there is less pressure on daily ups and downs, and you can relax into projects that bring you satisfaction. I’m not talking about settling, I’m talking about coming to terms with moments that are challenging and hard (typically these tumultuous times are good for you, serving to recommit yourself to your purpose).

7. Don’t stop.
Don’t quit. Don’t give up. You’re too important. The world needs you.

Odds

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(Try often, fail often, and your odds of winning increase. You never know when you’re going to hit.)