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Tag: fear

29 thoughts from a 29-year-old

  1. Decide to get it done. Commit. Go.
  2. Goals will keep you on track.
  3. Fears take on tricky disguises. Call them out or enlist the help of someone who can.
  4. Helping others is one of the best things you can do with your time.
  5. You will learn more traveling than sitting in a classroom.
  6. Relationships are containers for growth.
  7. Be kind.
  8. Laugh more.
  9. It’s OK to make mistakes.
  10. It’s OK to admit you’re wrong.
  11. It’s OK to say no.
  12. Sometimes you don’t know what you want. Do what you enjoy, instead.
  13. Metabolism can be cruel; eat healthy, get sleep, be good to yourself.
  14. Take more risks.
  15. If it excites you, do it.
  16. No one else will know your value until you do.
  17. You don’t need permission to act. Stop waiting to be told.
  18. Finished is better than half started.
  19. Give others permission to recognize your worth.
  20. Stop waiting for perfect. “Good enough” is just fine. Perfect doesn’t exist.
  21. Nothing is permanent.
  22. No decision is irreversible.
  23. It’s never “too late.”
  24. People can change.
  25. Love is what happens after the butterflies fade.
  26. Home is a place you create for yourself.
  27. Get outside daily.
  28. Dream big. Great, now dream bigger.
  29. Hold nothing back.

Listen wisely.

There are times you’ll feel like giving up.
Something else will come along, tempt you, appeal to your vulnerability, try to lure you back to the world you wanted to leave in the first place.
And then…

  • long hours
  • sleepless nights
  • infrequent, unreliable pay
  • instability, uncertainty
  • temporary narrowed vision, neglect of self and others
  • an obsessive desire to work (all of the time!)
  • scrapping, hustling, clinging, clawing
  • frustration
  • failing
  • loneliness
  • despair

What is louder: momentary discomfort or the dreams you have for yourself?
You’ll hear lots of voices — of fear, of doubters, of jealous naysayers…
Of the true calling of your heart.
Listen wisely.

Tipping the scale

The first [move, action, event, product, decision] is always the scariest, most anxiety provoking, most intimidating. Getting beyond that initial hump becomes a matter of mettle and courage as you muster the courage you need to leap over fear.

Can you build a framework that sets you up so that if you don’t do x-y-z, you can recognize that fear has won? Fix your gaze, define your goal, and work backwards to develop concrete steps that corner you into action. Make it impossible to do nothing.

Once you have a plan in place and you’ve deliberately chosen to ignore it (develop excuses or suddenly become “too busy”), your work is then to name your fear and dive headfirst into your beliefs about yourself and the world.

Get out of your own way. You can always choose to do nothing, but I dare you to tip the scale. Let me know what steps you’re taking to move the needle.

Is quitting an option?

Quitting might be the best thing you can do.

Quitting is a largely underrated skill. By removing yourself from situations that are detrimental to your growth, you place yourself on the fast track towards opportunity and success. Read more on why quitting might be good for you in this NY Times article.
A few things you might consider quitting:

  • where you live
  • your career
  • relationships
  • your job
  • destructive habits
  • irrelevant projects
  • time wasters
  • negative thoughts

Why (and when) should I quit?

Questions to help you decide if quitting is the best option:

  1. Is this person / situation / job / environment helping me move closer to the person I aim to be?
  2. Do I find this person / situation / job / environment supportive or destructive?
  3. Am I inspired to think big, create, start, and finish?
  4. Is the work I am doing meaningful, important to me, bettering my community, and/or changing lives?
  5. Do I mostly feel calm, confidant, and secure?
  6. Am I able to nourish most aspects of my being (mental, physical, spiritual) and accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself?

[You can also check out this Should I Quit? online questionnaire. Or find someone who can help you walk through this process.]

You always have options.

Instead of quitting, you could:

  • hope the situation improves
  • wait for things to change
  • complain about them
  • work to improve them
  • ignore them
  • get fired
  • settle

The important thing is that you realize you have choices.
The difficult part is honestly assessing which one is right for you.

It might not work.

The moment before you ship.

There’s a second of hesitation. You question whether you’re going to look like a fool, if your idea is stupid, if you’re wasting your time.

I had one of those this week.

Actually, I was petrified. I was trying something new, and I was scared it wasn’t going to work.

When you face moments of “This might not work,” do you turn around or keep going?

I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with #cxchat. I’ve seen twitter chats before, and I’ve questioned their value. I wasn’t convinced participants share authentically and reveal honest opinions. I was worried that no one would show up and thought I would be answering my own questions.

If you overcome fear and risk looking like a fool, good things can happen.

Not only did people participate, they shared. They shared their successes, their tools for creation, their secrets for building communities.

Digital strategists, managers, entrepreneurs, comedians (here’s looking at you, Matt Haze), designers, coders, coaches, artists, producers, writers, strategists, and marketers from all over the nation joined in. Responses were generous, thoughtful, honest, real. One of the participants even designed an incredible booklet for all to share; it’s now featured on Slideshare.

You can see what else was discussed during the chat here.

New connections, new resources, new perspectives.

I’d say #cxchat was a success. I’m glad I didn’t let fear get in the way.

(For those of you who missed it, we’ll be hosting another #cxchat Tuesday at 4pm ET.)

The next time you think, “This probably won’t work,” dive in, headfirst, and relax knowing most mistakes can be corrected. Who knows, you may stumble upon something great…

When “some” is better than “done”

It’s tempting to delay beginnings. Starting a project carries a certain amount of anxiety and trepidation. Eventually this emotional upheaval is conquered, and a new relationship forms — a protective, cautious, calculating awareness of your dream. Your time, energy, passion, love, and sacrifice have been invested into this work, and your pride is as stake. Suddenly, progress is never just right, the piece is never perfect; it lies unfinished.

It’s up to you to define the dividing line between obsession and creation. It takes honesty and acceptance to separate work you’re proud of from slop that requires more attention. However, if you don’t begin, you won’t have anything to revise or shape. Your idea will be just that — an abstract concept with no real testing power.

What if you could accept a tolerable first iteration? Embrace the fact that unless you’re lucky or highly skilled, there’s a good chance you’ll look back at your first draft and cringe. Set specific goals and concrete checkpoints to overcome perfection paralysis and create something rather than nothing.

Do you wonder how other people get started? Not sure how to label finished from needs work? Ask others for tips during today’s twitter chat, 4pm EST (use #cxchat).