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Tag: experience

Fear and two choices

Everyone has moments of panic.
If you don’t experience fear and anxiety from time to time, I’d wonder what kind of life you’re living. You’re probably not doing justice to your capabilities and talents or testing your limits. But this post isn’t about that.
I want you to pay attention to what you do AFTER those moments of panic and fear.
You have two choices:
1. Press on. 
Step on the gas and move forward (it doesn’t matter how slowly). Call it leaning in, fighting resistance, bucking up. I say you’re just going for it.
2. Ease off.
You’ve taken your foot off the pedal and/or you’ve stepped on the brake.
What do you do when you’re afraid?
Boarding my flight for Nepal, I was filled with trepidation and unease. I wish I could say I knew something amazing was waiting for me. I can’t. It wasn’t that I was afraid to travel around the world by myself; I was afraid of not knowing what the hell I was doing. There was fear and deep sense of anxiety, but I didn’t let it stop me.
I’m not unique. Many individuals have gotten on planes and found life-changing adventures — Scott, Eric, John, Tim, Hannah, Jim. Defining moments don’t have to involve travel, either. I felt this before my first dinner and my first project with Seth.
I’ve recognized panic and fear before many great learning experiences. There’s always something to lose, and your mind will come up with a million excuses why you will fail. The trick is finding a place of creative freedom and alleviating your fears just long enough to press on.
 

Star in your own movie

It isn’t necessary to pine away hoping to be discovered. You may never get the role you want. And you risk being caught in the background, your true skills and talents wasted.

Why wait for someone else to cast you? Set about writing your own screenplay.

Play the role you want.

I stopped trying.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around this, as it is completely counterintuitive to me.

The moment I stopped trying and quit everything is when things became clear.

I’m not saying I don’t have challenges and that life is always easy, but my day-to-day isn’t filled with as much strife. There’s less struggle as I move about the world.

I think of how difficult momentum seemed in the past. Once I landed back into the grooves of authenticity, people began to take notice. It’s then that I raised money for a few scholarships, attracted over 30k views on Medium, and found myself speaking on HuffPost (look at 13:30).

I’m not doing anything drastically different. I’m simply living my life by letting passion lead the way.

I’m wondering if this principle has worked for you, too.

What if WORKING HARD didn’t equal SUCCESS? What if you stepped out of the car, allowed your excitement to take the wheel, and put frustration, anxiety, and white-knuckle-decision-making in the backseat? What if by relaxing, you allowed your “best self” to emerge?

If you’re having to work really hard to make something right, I’m wondering if it’s right in the first place.

Tweet me. I want to hear what you think.

Conversations that matter, organizing, and impresarios: A dinner event in March

Everyone knows bringing people together in meaningful ways has value. But what does that mean? And how do you build environments that get people to be authentic and real?

Questions I hear:

  • How do you move beyond “What do you do?” at networking events?
  • How important is a guest list, really?
  • Does the environment matter?
  • Can you prevent people from dishing out business cards like candy on Halloween?
  • Is it possible to focus discussion and achieve set goals without appearing forced or insincere?

The answers to these questions are gold and will save you mega dollars on event planners, facilitators and consultants — while increasing YOUR worth to your network and clients.

We are all looking for tribes, searching for people who can help us. There is real value in those able to make these connections. You don’t have to wait or hire someone. You can make this your passion, too.

I’m organizing a special event for impresarios (and for those who might not yet know they are one).

This private gathering will be held in one of my favorite NYC spots, a hidden room home to one of my very first dinners where I [nervously] invited friends and colleagues from different industries to share warm food and life wisdom.

I’ve timed the event so those attending Seth’s workshop can finish up before traveling downtown to hatch ideas with others looking to make waves. And have a tasty meal, too. We will be talking about how to organize, host, and prepare for some of the challenges you might encounter as you plan events of your own. You may even meet the right person to help make your project happen.

Attendance is limited (15-20 people), and dinner is provided. Early ($180) and regular ($275) invites will be extended. Applications for early invitations can be found here.

Bonus: In addition to our evening together, you will be able to opt into a private online community where you can meet others who have dined at our table over the years.

Have questions? Contact Michelle.

United by insecurity

No matter where your office is located, the ceiling can fall down. You don’t know when, but one day it will. There is even a possibility a car drives through your living room tonight while you’re sleeping.
We’ve done a great job fooling ourselves into believing we have it all figured out. We’ve worked hard to create predictable outcomes, studying to become masters of our environment. Data is plugged into spreadsheets, and dollars are spent on analyzing trends. Months are mapped out in advance. Calendars are scheduled to the minute. The year becomes a series of data points and action plans.
A soft mirage of familiarity has blanketed our world, producing a certain emotional numbness. We pick and choose what we want to feel. We pad ourselves from life with cars, TV shows, deadlines, large houses filled with things. The moment loneliness or vulnerability hits, we reach for our cell phones.
The irony is in all of this control and safety-making, we crave surprise and excitement. The tales of unpredictability are the ones we tell our friends. We sign up for marathons and Tough Mudders to feel something, to show the scrapes on our knees bearing witness of our participation. “Look at me, I’m living life!”
The moment you witness these tendencies is the moment you come alive. When you no longer cling to guarantees and you live in the challenge of each moment with nothing to hide.
This isn’t recklessness, it’s awareness. Some call it “mindful living,” the ability to observe what is happening as it happens. It’s not a need to know all of the answers but rather being in tune with the textures of your experience. It’s seeing the present for what it is, not what you wish for or as a result of what happened yesterday.
I often hear this question: “What’s next?”
I believe my flexibility in providing this answer has made my life what it is.
How wonderful it is to not know the answer.

Stop trying to find your purpose

We spend so much time searching.

The One, The Job, The House, The Car, The Experience, The Feeling, The Plan, The Salary, The Product, The Idea, The Connector, The Client, The Bargain, The Title, The Brand…

We’re looking for answers, assuming that once we find That Thing, the result we want will magically appear (happiness, success, love, fortune, fame, ease, contentment).

What if you stopped looking. Stay with me for a moment.

In Western Society, we’re taught that “A” action yields “B” outcome. So if I input X, Y, Z,  ___ should follow, right? (You fill in the blank.)

What if you channeled all of that energy you’re investing into finding That Thing towards your passion, instead? What if your excitement became the compass for your decision-making?

Chances are “your purpose” will appear when you’re not looking; not necessarily when you least expect it — because you’ll already be following your heart’s desires and will be so invested in your life and your work and giving to others that you’ll forget you were looking in the first place. Same goes for love.

Think of it less as a a fixed feeling or pre-defined experience and more as a rolling, morphing adventure.