Creating with intention
The choices we make impact much more than our day:
Set priorities with care. They influence your destiny.
Our steps are easily trackable, our buying decisions traceable with the click of a mouse. We document our lives on film for our friends and the world to see. We post our professional accomplishments on open social networks. We look for validation and response from what we show the world, from names printed in magazines to recognition in the neighborhood coffee stop.
We have unlimited options to conceal our true identity, forsaking vulnerability and connection for a clean, manufactured image. With so many distractions for us to choose from, we can hide from ourselves, busying our focus from concentrating on things that matter and topics we know to be pertinent.
It’s easier to distract ourselves than sit down and get to the real, gritty work.
It’s easy to check email and Facebook regularly.
It’s hard to focus on making big things happen.
It’s easy to sprinkle business cards around a room.
It’s hard to develop meaningful rapport.
It’s easy to leave a meeting without speaking up.
It’s difficult to put your ideas on the line.
It’s easy to attend a party not having learned anyone’s name.
It’s difficult to make intentional introductions.
It’s easy to speak on a panel.
It’s hard to create an experience that changes the way someone feels.
It’s easy to manufacture the same item over and over again.
It’s difficult to create a once-in-a-lifetime work of art.
Seth Godin recently reminded me of questions I can’t afford not to answer:
Each day we have a series of choices that, when combined, contribute to the story we tell ourselves and the world.
Some people live on the edge of what’s possible. They defy expectations and buck norms.
Some people follow what has come before. They do what they are told and stay in line.
Some people wander aimlessly. They dream about “what if” and believe success finds the lucky. They attribute greatness to others, failing to see it in themselves.
The difference lies in the acknowledgement of your worth, the realization of your strengths, confidence in your unique talents (for nobody does it quite like you), and the conversion of belief into action.
A few months ago, I found myself in a room with Seth Godin and a small group of eager entrepreneurs. Seth posed the following question:
“Are you so in love with your problem you’re unwilling to try an imperfect solution?”
This prompted me to wonder how many situations I’ve refused to relinquish control, choosing instead to hold out for that perfect, golden answer that would fix everything in one fell swoop. This refuse to settle mantra has gotten in my way and prevented me from taking steps concrete steps of action.
I know I’m not the only one.
Looking around the room that day, every attendee had scrawled their own dilemmas onto scraps of paper. It may come as no surprise that every one of these problems had a solution that another attendee could devise. It wasn’t that any of these attendees were unexperienced, unintelligent, or unmotivated. Quite the opposite.
We come up with hundreds of reasons why we shouldn’t or can’t, so we don’t. We develop relationships with the problem itself, telling ourselves stories that may or may not be true. We believe our inner dialogue (“It just can’t be done.”), electing inaction over failure and fear. Only the very best for our problems, nothing less!
Of course, we’re able to consider another’s issue with relative calm. As outsiders, we lack the emotional connection and historical weight that the owner carries. We use our own fresh eyes to create probable solutions with creativity and ease, even wondering what the fuss was about in the first place.
Then we arrive at our own obstacles (or put them off for as long as possible), and we’re stuck.
I’d like to ask you the same:
1. You really, really want something.
Big Goal: I want to … travel around the world, be the company’s top earner, find a fulfilling relationship, double my savings account, change careers.
2. You want to change your behavior.
Big Goal: I am going to … lose weight, eat mindfully, stop smoking, be independent, make confident decisions, become more organized.
Big Goals sound daunting because they’re not easy (if it sounds easy, it probably isn’t a Big Goal). These kinds of goals often entail major life changes — career, relationship, health — and require concentrated focus and energy.
Lately, many of my meetings have involved some sort of goal setting tirade: how to set goals, frustration with achieving them, fear of failing, uncertainty. Since my days working as a probation officer, I’ve encouraged people to set Big Goals, ones that are both lofty and achievable. The trick to success?
This may sound counterintuitive, but it works.
After you’ve identified and set your Big Goal(s), you must plan smaller, manageable subgoals that point you in the direction of your identified finish line.
Big Goal: I am going to get fit.
subgoal: I am going to start a food diary.
subgoal: I will pack lunch twice this week.
subgoal: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find what I enjoy.
subgoal: I am going to schedule workouts into my calendar.
etc.
It’s not enough to write your dream on a board and walk away. Your chances of accomplishing Big Goals proportionally increase with the planning and thought you put into your game plan. Subgoals are essential if you’re looking to knock it out of the park.
Set periodic check-in reminders to help you assess whether you are on track. Think of it as a training plan: no marathoner wills himself past the finish line. Successful race days are the result of many mini-runs, planned efforts set with an end result in mind. There’s a reason step-by-step guides work. They take complex processes and break them down into approachable actions.
Big Goal: I am going to get fit.
today: I am going to start a food diary.
this week: I will pack a lunch twice this week.
by next week: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find one that I enjoy.
this month: I am going to schedule workouts.
etc.
Set Big Goals. Don’t cut yourself slack.
Just increase your betting odds by making a plan to get there.
They work best if you’re honest: