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Tag: create

The best moments of my life began with a plane

I started writing a post titled “The Best Moments of My Life Began With Getting on a Plane.”
I was thinking about my first memory of travel, the second I knew I had a lifelong relationship with foreign places. I was a young girl visiting my father’s family in Holland, and I was standing in the produce section of a local market with my aunt. The vivid green of the vegetables and the neat rows of roots picked from the ground were like nothing I had seen in the aisles of King Soopers in Longmont, Colorado. I couldn’t understand a word of what anyone was saying, and a poppy Dutch radio station competed for my attention. I was enthralled. Even as I stepped outside, the light seemed to cast vibrant shadows on the sidewalk.
A summer volunteering at a Thai orphanage. The kids’ humble generosity sends me home with a profound appreciation of resources and privilege. A year as a psychology student in New Zealand. Thrust into an entirely new education system and a beautiful landscape to explore, I learn more about responsibility and individuality as I turn 20 in the Southern Hemisphere. A research grant affording me the opportunity to backpack Europe. An ongoing affair with Manhattan — continually discovering more about myself and people dear to me. And, of course, Nepal.
Looking closely, these experiences aren’t about an aircraft. Their significance comes from a reunion with mystery and uncertainty. Seeing the universe with fresh eyes. It isn’t about a place. It’s about confidence and connection with strangers; empathy and compassion and duty as a world citizen.
You don’t need to buy a ticket to experience something amazing. You can step towards the unknown and take risks to connect with strangers in your world.

Inconvenience yourself.

New Yorkers and scheduling is borderline ridiculous. I spend more time than I care to admit orchestrating calendars, slotting calls, finding common days for in-person meetings. While there are plenty of automated tools to streamline this process, I’ve found that each person’s needs and requests are very different, and the act of scheduling itself can reveal underlying issues. Each day I’m forced to reassess my priorities and make decisions accordingly.

Yet with all of this scheduling and compartmentalizing, is there space for magic?

We spend so much time making sure things go according to plan. If something falls through the cracks, it’s a fault in the system — our system. The slightest tip of the scale can throw off an entire day, delaying planned meetings and cramping scheduled “me” time. Minor inconveniences (a late train, a forgotten document) suddenly become huge problems.

Ever pause to evaluate whether your intense regimen is adding to your anxiety rather than helping? Consider your definition of inconvenience and flirt with alternatives.

What would happen if you intentionally take the later train, let someone step in front of you, choose the slowest checkout line?

 

I stopped trying.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around this, as it is completely counterintuitive to me.

The moment I stopped trying and quit everything is when things became clear.

I’m not saying I don’t have challenges and that life is always easy, but my day-to-day isn’t filled with as much strife. There’s less struggle as I move about the world.

I think of how difficult momentum seemed in the past. Once I landed back into the grooves of authenticity, people began to take notice. It’s then that I raised money for a few scholarships, attracted over 30k views on Medium, and found myself speaking on HuffPost (look at 13:30).

I’m not doing anything drastically different. I’m simply living my life by letting passion lead the way.

I’m wondering if this principle has worked for you, too.

What if WORKING HARD didn’t equal SUCCESS? What if you stepped out of the car, allowed your excitement to take the wheel, and put frustration, anxiety, and white-knuckle-decision-making in the backseat? What if by relaxing, you allowed your “best self” to emerge?

If you’re having to work really hard to make something right, I’m wondering if it’s right in the first place.

Tweet me. I want to hear what you think.

Conversations that matter, organizing, and impresarios: A dinner event in March

Everyone knows bringing people together in meaningful ways has value. But what does that mean? And how do you build environments that get people to be authentic and real?

Questions I hear:

  • How do you move beyond “What do you do?” at networking events?
  • How important is a guest list, really?
  • Does the environment matter?
  • Can you prevent people from dishing out business cards like candy on Halloween?
  • Is it possible to focus discussion and achieve set goals without appearing forced or insincere?

The answers to these questions are gold and will save you mega dollars on event planners, facilitators and consultants — while increasing YOUR worth to your network and clients.

We are all looking for tribes, searching for people who can help us. There is real value in those able to make these connections. You don’t have to wait or hire someone. You can make this your passion, too.

I’m organizing a special event for impresarios (and for those who might not yet know they are one).

This private gathering will be held in one of my favorite NYC spots, a hidden room home to one of my very first dinners where I [nervously] invited friends and colleagues from different industries to share warm food and life wisdom.

I’ve timed the event so those attending Seth’s workshop can finish up before traveling downtown to hatch ideas with others looking to make waves. And have a tasty meal, too. We will be talking about how to organize, host, and prepare for some of the challenges you might encounter as you plan events of your own. You may even meet the right person to help make your project happen.

Attendance is limited (15-20 people), and dinner is provided. Early ($180) and regular ($275) invites will be extended. Applications for early invitations can be found here.

Bonus: In addition to our evening together, you will be able to opt into a private online community where you can meet others who have dined at our table over the years.

Have questions? Contact Michelle.

United by insecurity

No matter where your office is located, the ceiling can fall down. You don’t know when, but one day it will. There is even a possibility a car drives through your living room tonight while you’re sleeping.
We’ve done a great job fooling ourselves into believing we have it all figured out. We’ve worked hard to create predictable outcomes, studying to become masters of our environment. Data is plugged into spreadsheets, and dollars are spent on analyzing trends. Months are mapped out in advance. Calendars are scheduled to the minute. The year becomes a series of data points and action plans.
A soft mirage of familiarity has blanketed our world, producing a certain emotional numbness. We pick and choose what we want to feel. We pad ourselves from life with cars, TV shows, deadlines, large houses filled with things. The moment loneliness or vulnerability hits, we reach for our cell phones.
The irony is in all of this control and safety-making, we crave surprise and excitement. The tales of unpredictability are the ones we tell our friends. We sign up for marathons and Tough Mudders to feel something, to show the scrapes on our knees bearing witness of our participation. “Look at me, I’m living life!”
The moment you witness these tendencies is the moment you come alive. When you no longer cling to guarantees and you live in the challenge of each moment with nothing to hide.
This isn’t recklessness, it’s awareness. Some call it “mindful living,” the ability to observe what is happening as it happens. It’s not a need to know all of the answers but rather being in tune with the textures of your experience. It’s seeing the present for what it is, not what you wish for or as a result of what happened yesterday.
I often hear this question: “What’s next?”
I believe my flexibility in providing this answer has made my life what it is.
How wonderful it is to not know the answer.

Stop trying to find your purpose

We spend so much time searching.

The One, The Job, The House, The Car, The Experience, The Feeling, The Plan, The Salary, The Product, The Idea, The Connector, The Client, The Bargain, The Title, The Brand…

We’re looking for answers, assuming that once we find That Thing, the result we want will magically appear (happiness, success, love, fortune, fame, ease, contentment).

What if you stopped looking. Stay with me for a moment.

In Western Society, we’re taught that “A” action yields “B” outcome. So if I input X, Y, Z,  ___ should follow, right? (You fill in the blank.)

What if you channeled all of that energy you’re investing into finding That Thing towards your passion, instead? What if your excitement became the compass for your decision-making?

Chances are “your purpose” will appear when you’re not looking; not necessarily when you least expect it — because you’ll already be following your heart’s desires and will be so invested in your life and your work and giving to others that you’ll forget you were looking in the first place. Same goes for love.

Think of it less as a a fixed feeling or pre-defined experience and more as a rolling, morphing adventure.