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Tag: connection

A coffee riddle

Which costs more?

Coffee #1

Before you reach the counter, a wide grin flashes at the sight of your arrival. You’re greeted, “Hello! How are you, sister?”  and asked if you’ll have your usual order — black coffee with sugar, no milk.
As your coffee is prepared, you settle in at the table overlooking the outdoor market. There are three additional chairs surrounding the table; sometimes you’re joined by others. Today you’ve brought a newspaper along, but your eyes dart from its pages to the women buying fresh vegetables and men catching up on local gossip.
A small porcelain cup is carried on a saucer and placed in front of you. The woman asks about your day, your family, your friends. When you’re ready to leave, a friendly “See you again soon!” accompanies your change.

Coffee #2

You wait in a line of patrons nervously checking cellphones and eagerly scanning a large billboard of beverage choices. At the front of the queue, the cashier grumbles for orders. “What can I get you?”
After you hand over payment, you step aside to wait in an additional line for your black coffee. Collecting your paper cup, you advance to a separate counter to retrieve sugar packets for your brew. Though you’d like to sit, all tables are full — some occupied by lone individuals — and you decide to leave, having hardly made eye contact or uttered more than a few words.

Which coffee would you pay more for?

Successful businesses offer an experience, a connection. They provide moments that allow the customer to step away from “life” just long enough to return changed (or inspired) in some way.
Note: The coffee described in the first scenario actually costs much, much less than the second; $0.20 USD compared to $1.78 USD. Write me if you’d like to learn more.

Write a research paper: a lesson in empathy

During the past week, I’ve taught my most advanced students how to write a research paper (for more about my time in Nepal, visit here and here). The sixteen- and seventeen-year-old monks have never heard the term research before, and words such as “references,” “introduction,” “outline,” and “conclusion” are new additions to their vocabulary.

When I first explained their assignment, their charming smiles hid their bewilderment. As I despondently watched one student copy paragraphs directly from his grade-school English book, I realized my lesson wasn’t well received. I was quickly reminded of the importance of empathic communication.

In attempting to describe the purpose of writing and the value of communicating opinion, I’ve had to consider what already exists in their world. What might help them understand the (already challenging!) writing process? I’ve drummed up analogies such as making sandwiches (“Your introduction and conclusion is like bread. You need meat in the middle for a tasty sandwich!”) and playing soccer (“The introduction is the kick-off, when the whistle blows. Your conclusion is putting the ball in the back of the net. Goal!”). I’ve asked my wide-eyed students, “What do you want someone to remember after they’ve read your writing?”

The process has reminded me of flexible thinking, the ability to consider another’s world view, and the universal demand for effective communication.

The next time you find yourself frustrated and struggling to get your point across, pause for a moment to see if there is another way to convey your message.

The medium is only half of the art. The interpretation is the rest.

Get to know someone today

Pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for lunch. Invite someone you’d like to learn from, someone you could get to know a little better.

Choose four questions to bring along with you:

  • What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
  • Favorite aspect of your work?
  • Most challenging part of your job?
  • You can pick one person to have coffee with. Who would it be?
  • Where do you go for inspiration?
  • What do you do to recharge?
  • Last meaningful book you read?
  • If you had an extra hour each day, how would you spend it?
  • If you were gifted one million dollars, what would you do?

Tomorrow, send a thank you email with two things you learned.

Nepal

While fundraising for the Discover Outdoors Foundation, I learned Nepal is one of the poorest countries in the world. One quarter of its people live on less than $1 a day and barely half of them are literate. After some research and plenty of emails, I found a local agency that places volunteers in projects across the country. My bags are filled with crayons, games and animal balloons, and I’m teaching English to kids before trekking to Everest’s Base Camp.

You won’t see quite as many posts in the upcoming weeks. In fact, as you’re reading this, I’m on one of several flights leading me to the Himalayas.

I feel incredibly blessed to have the freedom to connect and converse and discover and explore with people around the world. And I’m filled with a deep sense of gratitude for the confidence that comes with the support, love, and backing of so many. This journey has been magnified by the monumental encouragement I have received from friends, colleagues, clients, and strangers. It’s an incredible gift to do work you love, from anywhere.

I’ve debated whether or not to post while I’m away. I’ve toyed with the paranoia of disconnecting for an extended period of time. “But the momentum…but the readers…but…but…” I’ve considered the risks that come with automated content, as I’ve witnessed scheduled generalities firsthand during Hurricane Sandy. I remember sitting in a trembling NYC apartment, listening to water slosh around in the toilet bowl, and reading tweets advertising “10 creative ways to green your kitchen.” There’s a sensitivity and presence that is oh-so-irreplaceable, and fresh and timely cannot be undervalued.

I’m not quite sure what my access will be while I’m away, but I know I want to be present to my experience and not worried about technical malfunctions, open rates, or traffic. Absence alone can be lighter fuel for ideas, dreams, creation.

That said, you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be blogging the “ole’ fashioned way” while I’m traveling — via journal and pen. You’ll find a few posts in your inbox (if you’ve signed up to receive them), but with less regularity. And if the mood strikes, I’ll pop into an internet cafe and post a few thoughts.

Count on a treasure trove of goodies upon my return. Project Exponential has some incredible, very exciting changes in the works, and I can’t wait to share them with you.

Until then, go find adventure, plan a few dinner partiers, put yourself on a weekend sabbatical, and become an explorer in your own neighborhood. Your community needs it. You need it.

What connects us

Understanding that first and foremost, the life you want to create for yourself, the type of person you want to become, the parts of yourself you’re most excited to develop will attract individuals who will help you get there.

Realizing that true, authentic connection is expansive. The right relationship discovered at the right time can help you soar, find freedom, create, and see a limitless future.

Recognizing that relationships are catalysts for growth and independence — for supporting both reckless abandon and providing the foundation to carry the wisdom that comes from experience, failure, frustration, pain.

Acknowledging that your highest highs and lowest lows are probably different than mine; the value lies in sharing and discovering what these experiences were like for each of us.

Accepting that at your very worst, you are someone’s pride and joy. Knowing this helps reveal the very best parts of you.

That through the fog of confusion and longing, we can help each other find shared laughter and bouts of success, punctuated with gratitude and contentment along the way.

That our mutual appreciation for life — the ups and downs, the hard lessons and the easy ones — may or may not happen at the same time. Your up might be my down, but no matter, when we find ourselves on the same plane, we can share the lessons we learned and the tricks we used to get us through.

That the whole point is to create tribes, to build and create and be generous — to others and to ourselves.

Embracing that this is all really about compassion, about elevating each other and pushing one another to succeed by sharing our struggles and our wins.

We collaborate because our ideas become greater. Like a brilliant prism, the unique perspectives we each offer leads to undiscovered treasure.

It’s our gift to find it.

prism

29 thoughts from a 29-year-old

  1. Decide to get it done. Commit. Go.
  2. Goals will keep you on track.
  3. Fears take on tricky disguises. Call them out or enlist the help of someone who can.
  4. Helping others is one of the best things you can do with your time.
  5. You will learn more traveling than sitting in a classroom.
  6. Relationships are containers for growth.
  7. Be kind.
  8. Laugh more.
  9. It’s OK to make mistakes.
  10. It’s OK to admit you’re wrong.
  11. It’s OK to say no.
  12. Sometimes you don’t know what you want. Do what you enjoy, instead.
  13. Metabolism can be cruel; eat healthy, get sleep, be good to yourself.
  14. Take more risks.
  15. If it excites you, do it.
  16. No one else will know your value until you do.
  17. You don’t need permission to act. Stop waiting to be told.
  18. Finished is better than half started.
  19. Give others permission to recognize your worth.
  20. Stop waiting for perfect. “Good enough” is just fine. Perfect doesn’t exist.
  21. Nothing is permanent.
  22. No decision is irreversible.
  23. It’s never “too late.”
  24. People can change.
  25. Love is what happens after the butterflies fade.
  26. Home is a place you create for yourself.
  27. Get outside daily.
  28. Dream big. Great, now dream bigger.
  29. Hold nothing back.