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Tag: confidence

How to write an article that goes viral

Quitting everything to go to Nepal is one of the scariest pieces I have published. I felt like a gutted fish, open and raw, when I wrote it. I had just come back from my first trip to Nepal, and I had so many thoughts swirling in my mind. I didn’t know how to share them and no one wanted to hear ALL of my stories, so I started to write. And write. And write. Writing has now become a daily compulsion.

I didn’t set out to write a viral article. I wanted to talk about what was trapped inside of me, experiences I wanted to let go of. I was a shaken can of soda and decided it was time to rip the lid off. The more I wrote, the easier it was for me to see common themes in my writings: family (lack of), love (searching for), work (wanting to do something meaningful), fear (of everything), risk (daily choices and big, lifetime decisions). I know I’m not the only one whose dreams have suffered because of one or all of these issues.

I remember counting to three before I clicked “publish.” My stomach was in knots, I had read and reread and rewritten and read again, over and over and over. I thought the post was going to ruin me. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I knew deep in my bones that I had to write. Fear wasn’t going to stop me. Intimidation wasn’t going to stop me. Lack of confidence in myself and my choices wasn’t going to stop me.

As a writer, that’s what you need to do. Tell the story that hurts, the ones that make your skin prickle. Write the lessons you’ve learned that caused you pain and made you stronger. Ignore that obnoxious voice that whispers you’re not good enough, experienced enough, smart enough, important enough. Tell that voice to go to hell and write. Rip the lid off and write. Readers don’t want prefabricated lines. Give them YOU — your honest, messy, unrefined self.

Are you spending too much time at work?

The eight-hour workday was designed to get the most out of workers in order to run around-the-clock business. After observing inefficiencies of exhausted workers, Robert Owen split the day into three eight-hour blocks: work, play and rest. Even Henry Ford mirrored this formula. Yet bonuses, overtime pay, and office bragging rights have incentivized long work hours. As a result, fatigue is common in workplaces across America.
Are all those hours at work really beneficial?
Research shows that after hour fifty, workers burn out, make mistakes and get hurt. The more hours spent at work, the less work actually gets accomplished. Overtime nurses misdiagnosed patients, and hospital interns were more likely to be involved in automobile accidents after long hours on the job.
Mayo Clinic recognizes the dangerous combination of exhaustion, insecurity and hopelessness; job burnout is a big problem, even resulting in depression and insomnia. If projects are piling up on your desk, if you’re feeling irritable or dissatisfied – even work is going well – take a step back. You’re worth way more than OT.

How to talk to young people about entrepreneurship

Our culture is obsessed with success — mostly because success, as portrayed in media, is sandwiched between wealth and fame. This idealist notion of success, especially in terms of entrepreneurship, has extreme consequences. Hearing stories about those select few who have made millions can alter young entrepreneurs’ expectations of themselves and their perspectives on the future.

I’ve been an entrepreneur for most of my life, and I’ve been teaching skills associated with entrepreneurship for over ten years. In working with clients and students of varying ages, I’ve learned:

Emphasize progress, not results
Entrepreneurship is a long road filled with pivots, failures, hiatus, flashes of brilliance and extreme exhaustion. When successful outcomes are the only stories highlighted, the heavy lifting journey loses value. It is imperative that students learn the importance of sticking things through, even when challenges become great. Success rarely happens overnight, and students need to understand hard work, patience and determination.

Build autonomy
Autonomy is belief in ability; when a student develops skills that contribute to her autonomy, she builds confidence and independence. Research has shown that autonomous students are more motivated, make better decisions, and are more responsible than their peers. Groups exercises, presentations and debates can push students to find answers and perform, even (and especially) when they are nervous.

Encourage questions
Asking questions is an essential step in finding new ways of doing things and improving outdated products. When students learn to think critically, there is no end to what they can do. Students who acquire critical thinking skills are able to analyze arguments, evaluate information and transfer ideas from one environment to another. And in today’s world, when industries borrow from others and businesses must quickly adapt to changing market needs, these skills are essential.

Teach communication skills
The ability to communicate is one of the most valuable business tools. If a student can structure an essay and clearly articulate key points, that student can learn to write a pitch, compose sales emails and rehearse cold calls. Being able to communicate (and listen!) builds confidence and empathy. Both are necessary for entrepreneurs.

Find local role models
No matter where they are in the world, students have heard of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Introduce your students to local entrepreneurs. Tell your class stories about people in their neighborhood, people who have built something, kept it going and continue to show up day in and day out. Even better: invite these businesswomen and men to your classroom and set up a mentoring program.

Reward mistakes
Students need to understand that few, very few people, get it right on the first try. Products can be taken off market and rebranded, launches can happen more than once, sometimes you have to go back to the drawing board and start all over again. Talk to your students about famous people who failed but kept going. Teach students to edit and find their own mistakes instead of giving them paper with red ink scrawled all over the page. Work with them to identify where mistakes occurred so they don’t happen again.

Our world needs young people who are confident, who aren’t afraid to question, and who get back up after failing. It’s our duty to show them how to do it.

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

6 tips to become a better public speaker

Public speaking isn’t something to fear. With practice, presentations can connect you more deeply to your clients and your work and can even teach you new lessons about yourself. Use these tips to ace your next event, whether you’re toasting at a dinner party or pitching to an investor.

  1. Be honest. If you’re faking or pretending, people will know. Tell a personal story that’s relevant. Your emotion will come through and resonate with your listeners.
  2. Invest in your audience. This means you’ve taken the time to learn about them; you’ve taken time to think through their challenges, their struggles and their goals so you can cater your message accordingly. Look them in the eye. Show them you care.
  3. Practice. Write your speech and say it out loud. Notice sections that feel awkward and find the natural pauses and rhythms in your talk. When you get nervous, you’ll want to speak quickly. Take a deep breath. The more you practice, the more control you’ll have over your cadence.
  4. Watch others. Observe what draws you to certain speakers and repels you from others. What do they do? How do they do it? What draws you to what they are saying?
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect. Your humanness is what makes you interesting. Use mistakes to regain focus and concentrate on your main point. See if you can reduce your talk to one or two themes and keep these in your mind as you move forward. Relax and be yourself.
  6. Keep it simple. Sometimes the best messages are simply stated: they’re not overly complex or detailed, they’re not filled with graphics or images or slideshows. Work with a coach or trusted friend to pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses and remember: a personal experience can often mean more than any rehearsed oration.

Have more tips to share? What has made your speaking great? Did you fail (and what did you learn)? Tweet me @redhedlefthand.