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Tag: choices

“You’re too fast.”

The monks have pointed out I talk fast, walk fast, act fast, eat fast, think fast. This is in stark contrast to everything they do. American culture and competitive spirit has turned me into a shark. I’m afraid that if I stop, I might die.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. Every entrepreneur can wake at 2AM and think of something that needs to be done.

In Nepal, I’m learning two things:

1. Doing nothing is actually something and can be good for you.

2. Slowness is an art.

While many business situations require fast action, there’s equally valid merit from slow decisions and calculated effort.

Acceptance and a face tattoo

Last night I had a dream I got a tattoo. It was a big black tribal symbol winding down the side of my face and neck. Sometimes my hair would hide it, but no amount of accessories or clothing could conceal its dark lines. I spent most of the dream trying to come to terms with it and accept the fact I had this thing permanently etched onto my skin.

I’ve sat with NY Times bestselling authors, farmers in Nepal, Tibetan Buddhists, Wall Street sharks, Italian philosophers and millionaires from California. They all have one thing in common:

Everyone wants something.

I have yet to meet an individual who is 100% honestly, truly satisfied. Everyone has some benchmark they are trying to tip, some element of their life they wish they could change. This is life.

No matter where you are, who you are, how much money you have, or who sleeps next to you, there is something that could be better, easier, more exciting, different. This gap drives who we are and what we do. We spend so much time and energy building, creating, altering and striving that it seems against our nature to be satisfied.

Acceptance is one of those gold terms; if you nail it, you’re rich. Wealth comes from recognizing what cannot be changed and where there is opportunity (of self, of others, the good and bad of what life deals you). If you can work with what you have, you’re well on your way.

The psychology of wanting what you can’t have

There’s something out of reach, and your mind is focused on it like a laser. A job, a relationship, a sum of money, a status. Whatever it is, it is unavailable, and you know it. But that doesn’t stop you from dreaming about it.

Your brain has tricked you into thinking this is where the rewards are. A tasty cocktail of novelty, desire, delayed gratification, and dopamine has you convinced this is what will make you happy, this will bring peace and prosperity and satisfaction. You compare yourself to those who DO have, and you’ll never measure up.

This is easy.

You’re spending your energy and time on the unattainable. Your yearning is conveniently preventing you from focusing your attention on what you do have. While you fantasize about what you can’t have, the problems you can solve, the circumstances you can change, the talents you do possess sit idle on the sidelines.

Catch yourself. Catch yourself longing and redirect your thoughts to what is in the realm of possibility. Channel your energy towards places you can affect.

I have a hunch you’ll find more happiness there.

Microactions

It’s easy to focus on big issues. They’re the blaring, obvious ones, and they make for easy complaints. Small actions can be more difficult to identify and require more brain power and attention.

More industries are understanding the value of these details and the importance they have in long term change. We’re seeing this trend with the rising popularity of “micro-” vernacular: micro-lending, micro-movements, micro-grants, micro-lancing.

Over time, small actions add up. Whether it’s a business owner planning out his annual forecast or the dieter writing a daily meal plan, daily decisions have great consequence.

The challenge is this: starting now.

(Tip: the first few actions you take in your day set the tone for what’s to come.)

The numbers in your bank account mean little.

If you hate your job, you cannot afford to stay one more day.
Over half of college graduates accept jobs that aren’t in their preferred industries (Bureau of Labor Statistics). People are bored, tired, and return home cranky and angry. Distraction comes in the form of stimuli — alcohol, drugs, buying things, selling things, gambling, eating, checking out in front of a screen.
You’ve invested too much in yourself — your education and training — to remain in a stifling workplace, performing tasks that are redundant. You are too valuable. Each second of your life is a precious moment you can’t get back. A bus could take you out tomorrow.
As difficult as it might seem to find a new gig, your life depends on it.
Your checkbook isn’t the only thing you should worry about. The bigger balance is your soul.