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Category: Observations

One week of consistency (a challenge)

What are the habits that define you? What are the actions that you take every day, no matter what? What are your “non-negotiables,” aspects of your day that you refuse to compromise, day in and day out?

Now…what do you want to change?

In one week, I challenge you to bring more awareness to your daily routine and incorporate a new element that supports your health and wellbeing. (What exactly that “new element” is, I’ll leave up to you.)

Day 1. Record your day. Observe your habits, places you unknowingly spend time. Certain rituals may occupy your days. Don’t judge, simply note your routine in a journal.

Day 2. Add something new. Drink hot water with lemon and honey first thing in the morning. Commit to a twenty-minute online yoga video. Go for a walk when you return home in the evening. Notice how this addition makes you feel.

Day 3. Repeat the same deliberate action you performed yesterday and aim to repeat it for the next four days.

Day 4. Reward yourself for your new commitment and treat yourself to something “out of the ordinary,” something that feels good. Dawdle over your morning coffee. Settle into a cozy café with a newspaper. Stop for a scoop of ice cream after work.

Day 5. Encourage someone else. Now that you are slowly filling your own cup, it is easier to support others. Say a positive word or publicly recognize a colleague’s work ethic. Notice how it feels to give.

Day 6. You may be tempted to “skip” whatever habit you committed to. Don’t. Write down any resistance you might have, note any obstacles that seem to get in the way of your own self-care: negative thinking, hectic scheduling, boredom, apathy. Keep going.

Day 7. Small actions create a ripple effect. Consistency builds over time and slowly, more discipline, more thoughtfulness, and more ease will come into your life. Decide what you want to invite in. Continue your “new element,” or try something else for the next seven days.

The path in front of you

It’s difficult to know what path to choose in terms of love, life, and work. Many of us are fortunate to be faced with choices (many choices): who to marry, where to live, what to do for an income.

Yet so many choices can be both paralyzing and confusing. Even depressing.

What if, instead of agonizing over the decision at hand, you found peace? That instead of drowning unease with more work or food or alcohol or worse, you settle into the life you’re living? What if, instead of looking into the future, you set aside time to be thankful and recognize where life has brought you?

Revel in that moment, that moment when several paths are before you. Cherish that day. That relationship. That job. Feel your feet on the ground, your seat in the chair, and place a hand over your heart. The path you’re seeking is the one you are on.

Two communication channels

Communication is a cornerstone of healthy, successful relationships. Your ability to communicate affects all aspects of your life: your workplace, at home, in personal relationships, even your vacation.
We can define communication in one of two categories, open or closed channels.
Open channels:
Are clear and direct
Leave less room for misinterpretation and confusion
Question-centric
Neutral
Energy flows freely
Creativity is encouraged
Closed channels:
Can be vague and dismissive
Result in assumptions and over-analysis
Statement driven
Judgemental
Energy is blocked
Limited exchange of ideas
Communication skills don’t come naturally to everyone but can be practiced and developed in time.
Look for ways to build and promote open channels of communication. Schedule check-ins. Develop mechanisms for feedback. Ask thoughtful questions and take time to listen to the answers.

7 perks of growing up

I sat down to make my annual birthday list of what I’m grateful for. I’ve noticed some common themes, and I’m attributing positive change in my life to these seven key areas:

Patience – In my twenties, I was carried away by emotions and split-second decisions like a kite in the wind. With time, I’ve learned how to sit through unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings and deal with situations from a more focused, grounded place.

Perspective – A friend once told me perspective was the key to a happy life. I agree, for I have found that keeping a balanced scale when confronting challenges and successes makes a big difference. There will be lows and there will be highs, good days and bad, some uninspired days in between. (As a monk once told me, “If there is no night, how can there be day?”) Also: never underestimate the power of a good laugh.

Confidence – Gone are the days when a negative word sends me into a downward spiral. I’ve learned the importance of being yourself and how not giving a fuck can propel your career and personal development forward.

Curiosity – Curiosity is like a plant. Feed it, nurture it, it will grow. This is one of the most exciting parts of living: the ability to explore, ask questions, learn and be stumped.

Compassion – Life experiences have given me a better understanding of the pain and challenges swirling around in the world, and time has taught me the wisdom and patience needed to listen to others without making assumptions. Of course you may not have been through exactly the same situation as someone else, but you can listen to their unique story with an open heart and mind.

Relationships – I’ve gently discarded relationships that are harmful and have embraced those that are loving, supportive and encouraging. I no longer hold onto people out of guilt or necessity. Instead, I actively choose those individuals who stand by me through ups and the downs. I appreciate these people dearly.

Contentment – I am able to enjoy and savor simple moments without constantly having to worry about the next move or what might happen in the future.

What do you think is best about growing old(er)? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

Here’s to another great year of discovery and excitement!

“It’s not my job.”

Taking responsibility inevitably sets you up, while watching from the sidelines gives you that head start should an anvil hit. There’s always the option to run.
When you step in to do a little more and claim ownership (no matter how small), the work becomes personal. This is where thoughtful decisions are made and jobs are performed with integrity.
“It’s not my job” is too big of a shortcut to take, especially if you’re hoping to get someplace else. Whether you’re looking for a raise, a promotion, a better position or a more flexible company, venture beyond the lines of your job description and look for ways to help your team succeed.
It might not be your job, but it’s definitely your reputation. How safe do you want to play?

13 lessons to be learned from expats

  1. It’s OK to not understand everything that is happening around you all of the time.
  2. True friends will keep in touch.
  3. Don’t compare your life, your successes, your failures or your progress with anyone else.
  4. Take time to connect with the people around you. See them for who they really are.
  5. Never stop learning.
  6. Use social media sparingly.
  7. Drink alcohol in moderation.
  8. Build community. Seek out and find those who bring out your very best self.
  9. If you don’t know the answer, don’t be afraid to ask.
  10. It’s always helpful to research and gather information before making big decisions. In the end, however, let intuition guide you.
  11. Spend time getting to know yourself so you can acknowledge your weaknesses and strong points.
  12. Set goals that both challenge and inspire you.
  13. Write. Make time to dream, to reflect, to observe and to record. Situations are constantly changing, and your perspectives will shift as well. Writing your thoughts down can help you stay on track and grow.

Post modified from this Medium article, posted July 15, 2015.