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Category: Inspiration

Power pack: 5 questions

I use questions to help my clients uncover their best selves, whether it is work or personal goals they are after. I’m sharing five here in hopes they spark your own journey:

  1. How are you different, what can you do that no one else can?
  2. What do people ask from you? (clients, family, friends, organizations, managers)
  3. What one word embodies your vision, your company, your principles?
  4. What top two dreams are current priorities?
  5. Tomorrow you wake up and everything is as it should be — simply perfect. What does this look like? From relationships to work to home to money. Get specific.

The rebellion of questions

As a school girl, I found myself in detention for asking questions. I was threatened to be kicked out of academic programs for challenging authority. You were permitted one question after your name was called, and superiors always had the last word. Too many questions meant insolence, disrespect and delinquency.

The problem is the greatest inventions arise from asking questions. When we dare to ask why, archaic systems can improve and new ways of doing things emerge.

Questions can take courage, and perseverance is sometimes needed to find the right answers. Honest leadership will welcome such speculation and discussion.

Surefire ways to get attention

I spent a good chunk of my early career worrying about finding the right kinds of business, attracting smart clients, generating the best PR. I’d worry if my work was good enough, if my talents and skills were evident, if my angle was unique.

Through trial and error, I realized there are two surefire ways to catch the attention of an audience (they’re fickle and quick to move on, so you have to be powerfully concise and to the point):

1. Show “why you.”

Behave in a way that gives me no choice but to see you. Your track record is an active testament to your character and to your work as a professional. I don’t care what is listed on your resume. I want projects and completed work that demonstrate your capabilities and promise as a leader.

2. Ask a question that can’t be avoided.

Put something in my head I can’t ignore. You’re here as a professional, so ask me something that proves you are what you say. You’re not here to be ordered about. Create an itch that leaves me wanting more.

Make me care.

When you find your passion, people will hate you.

“I think your [sic] passionate about your work and I know it turns people like me off.”

The message pinged in my Facebook inbox as I was going to sleep.

Maybe because I was in a particularly fragile state — two days in bed with high fever, my arms and legs raging with sunburn, pimples dotting my face, constipation, tension high with continued visa struggles, pressure to find funding for our annex building while trying to keep dinners in NYC going strong — I’ll admit, the comment stung. It got me thinking about what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been going about it. I instantly starting writing and analyzing.

You see, even when you’re shining and radiant and doing good work in the world, there will be people who don’t like you, who don’t understand, who aren’t supportive.

Ignore them. Write a list of all your wins and keep going.

P.S. If I had good wifi, I would download and listen to James’ podcasts.

Acceptance and a face tattoo

Last night I had a dream I got a tattoo. It was a big black tribal symbol winding down the side of my face and neck. Sometimes my hair would hide it, but no amount of accessories or clothing could conceal its dark lines. I spent most of the dream trying to come to terms with it and accept the fact I had this thing permanently etched onto my skin.

I’ve sat with NY Times bestselling authors, farmers in Nepal, Tibetan Buddhists, Wall Street sharks, Italian philosophers and millionaires from California. They all have one thing in common:

Everyone wants something.

I have yet to meet an individual who is 100% honestly, truly satisfied. Everyone has some benchmark they are trying to tip, some element of their life they wish they could change. This is life.

No matter where you are, who you are, how much money you have, or who sleeps next to you, there is something that could be better, easier, more exciting, different. This gap drives who we are and what we do. We spend so much time and energy building, creating, altering and striving that it seems against our nature to be satisfied.

Acceptance is one of those gold terms; if you nail it, you’re rich. Wealth comes from recognizing what cannot be changed and where there is opportunity (of self, of others, the good and bad of what life deals you). If you can work with what you have, you’re well on your way.