Stop playing small
What would you do if there were no obstacles?
If money and time were not considerations?
If you knew you would not fail?
Your playing small serves no one.
Author: Nick Gaswirth
When your world turns black
Your project will fail. Your spouse will file for divorce. You’ll be looked over for the promotion. You’ll lose money on your startup. Your child will get arrested. People will talk badly about you. It will start raining as soon as you leave the office.
All of these things can happen.
Are you prepared?
Life can be hard. It can feel like a momentous effort to get out of bed. Yet these are the days that matter. These days show you who you really are, what kind of stuff you’re made of, who you call in your dark hours. You can’t change what is happening around you, but you can choose how you’ll respond.
Do you have a game plan for life’s lows?
Write a go-to list that provides extra healing and care for days you’re feeling less than prime. Watch a movie, meditate, write, take a yoga class, go for a long walk, listen to great music, eat delicious food. Even small actions can help reset your energy and redirect your focus.
And if you can’t snap out of your funk, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out. Even your closest, cheeriest friends’ worlds have turned black at some point in time. You are not alone and never will be. The sun will return.
Consume or create
The internet has made it easy to sit back and watch and endlessly consume other people’s opinions, actions, projects, and work. It is now so easy to be a passive observer, to be someone who sits on the sidelines while others play in the game.
It is difficult to create. It takes time and dedication and focus. It takes courage to put something out in the world, something that might be discarded or mocked or rejected or possibly even ignored. But your livelihood requires this of you. Your happiness and passion are fueled by creativity. Building, writing, drawing, pasting, singing, connecting — these actions will inspire you.
Read good writing. Look at art. Find pictures and places that inspire you. But don’t count on others to do all of the work. Set a goal, make a few mistakes, and love the process. Your heart needs this.
Skills for a lifetime
Learning House began in 2014 to encourage education and leadership. Thousands of young adults have participated in free career counseling and seminars, English language classes and test preparation courses. In 2016, eighteen students reached their dreams of pursuing work and/or higher education abroad (you can see more participation numbers from last year here); I anticipate these numbers will continue to grow.
In the four years I’ve lived and volunteered in Nepal, I’ve met many students who want to go abroad for higher education but struggle to pay tuition and living expenses. Knowing how to make coffee is a valuable skill that can help students pay for their studies. And with the rise of coffee shops in Nepal, students will have options to start saving up for college early on.
By purchasing an espresso machine and educating students on the history of coffee, types of coffee, and preparation of the most commonly ordered cafe drinks, we will empower students with employable skills. Not only will students learn latte design and the parts of an espresso machine, they will learn business and sales, basic elements of hospitality, and increase their confidence.
We have found a local retailer who will supply a Casadio DIECI machine and offer two years free service and one year guarantee, along with ten days training for two teachers. These teachers will then run classes for local students.
Donate here to help get this program started.
To fall in love, do this:
A few years ago, a NYTimes piece lured readers with the secret to relational bliss. The author detailed her personal experience based on psychological research claiming to make two strangers fall in love. By asking intimate questions and demanding two individuals spend quality time together — even holding each other’s gaze for four minutes — the pair were believed to cement a relationship.
Of course, relationships take time and care and persistent, almost stubborn commitment. But at the heart of two people choosing to share life and love is curiosity. Curiosity about your partner’s preferences and dreams. Questions that dare to journey beyond the superficial: goals and fears and heartache and hopes.
Not sure where to begin? These 36 questions can help you get started. Or listen to the original NYTimes piece on the Modern Love podcast.
Confrontation and rejection: an opportunity
Confrontation and rejection are both uncomfortable, unpleasant situations that no one likes to encounter. Those with a less developed sense of self may interpret confrontation or rejection as a hit to their ego, their self-esteem dependent upon approval and positive feedback from others. As life begins to deal more social situations (and success), rejection matters less. The sting of disapproval doesn’t hold as much weight, and a healthier attitude towards potentially unkind situations develops. In fact, people who learn to deal with rejection and confrontation realize that these unpleasant circumstances are part of life, and to avoid them would create an insulating boundary that would limit the magic of living. These people accept that they won’t be a match for everyone and that this impossible expectation is too heavy a load to carry.
The first rejections are always the hardest to hear. When you begin to face the fear and anxiety of negative situations with a more positive attitude, the experience changes. The power of rejection lessens, and valuable learnings can be gained in potentially troubling situations. Conflict often isn’t as bad as we rehearse it in our own mind.
Scared of letting your feelings and emotions known? Practice first, by writing them down. Write down what you hope to say and explain how you feel. Dealing with confrontation and rejection is an essential skill no matter your line of work. Taking time to gather your thoughts before entering a charged situation will empower you to remain grounded and present when emotions run high.