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Tag: relationships

Stop trying to find your purpose

We spend so much time searching.

The One, The Job, The House, The Car, The Experience, The Feeling, The Plan, The Salary, The Product, The Idea, The Connector, The Client, The Bargain, The Title, The Brand…

We’re looking for answers, assuming that once we find That Thing, the result we want will magically appear (happiness, success, love, fortune, fame, ease, contentment).

What if you stopped looking. Stay with me for a moment.

In Western Society, we’re taught that “A” action yields “B” outcome. So if I input X, Y, Z,  ___ should follow, right? (You fill in the blank.)

What if you channeled all of that energy you’re investing into finding That Thing towards your passion, instead? What if your excitement became the compass for your decision-making?

Chances are “your purpose” will appear when you’re not looking; not necessarily when you least expect it — because you’ll already be following your heart’s desires and will be so invested in your life and your work and giving to others that you’ll forget you were looking in the first place. Same goes for love.

Think of it less as a a fixed feeling or pre-defined experience and more as a rolling, morphing adventure.

Give more, receive more

When we are stingy with our resources, or operate from a “scarcity mentality,” we block our own potential (and that of those around us). Giving to others creates an energy exchange that can propel you towards success and deeper layers of living.
The holiday season is a perfect time to test this generosity theory. Conduct an experiment and observe the ways in which you benefit by giving:

  • Find an organization that could benefit from your volunteer work
  • Buy coffee for the next person in line
  • Encourage an entrepreneur in a developing country
  • Clean out your closet and donate lightly worn clothes to a nearby shelter
  • Bake goodies and bring them to a neighbor
  • Support local farmers by giving the gift of a CSA box
  • Plug the parking meter of the car next to you
  • Invite a small group of friends to join you for dinner

Within your network, there are individuals who will benefit from meeting each other. We have tools and devices at our fingertips to connect and unite layers of talents. But there’s also the good-ol-fashioned telephone…
Generosity doesn’t need to be restricted to the holidays, but it’s a great time to start.
 

10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)

You’ve invited twelve of your closest friends over to your place for dinner — except no one knows anyone else, and they’re all from different parts of your life: work, parenting group, school, bowling club, gym class.

You’ve hired a chef and set the table. Now…how do you get people to talk?

“What do you do?” is an easy question. Overused, expected.

Here are 10 other questions you can ask, straight off the tables of Project Exponential dinners:

  1. Grand Central Station has room for a new restaurant in the basement. What should we recommend?
  2. The Embassy has asked us to suggest a week-long itinerary for a group of influential foreigners who want to visit America. No one speaks the same language. Where should we take them? What should we do?
  3. We’ve been commissioned to orchestrate vending machines that will be placed in high-traffic tourist areas like Times Square, Las Vegas, San Francisco and Sea World. What’s inside?
  4. The U.S. Department of Education wants us to design a course that will become part of all high school curricula. What do we teach?
  5. How do you encourage risk-taking and entrepreneurial thinking among a team that is afraid to break the rules?
  6. We’ve been given access to a 3D printer and can print ONE THING to be distributed worldwide. What is the thing?
  7. If we were to write one book that everyone here [at your dinner party] could contribute to, what would it be?
  8. The mayor wants us to develop a ride-sharing program that encourages interaction among residents and visitors. Ideas?
  9. Apple wants us to throw their next company party. Is there a theme? Who do we invite?
  10. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

If you’d like, you can write questions on cards and pass them around the table. If you’re feeling really ambitious, separate your guests into teams beforehand and group individuals with complementary skills. Let me know what happens.

Searching for simple

Here in Nepal, I’ve found the best moments are often the simple ones: quiet street corners, afternoon coffee, morning walks to the monastery, sunsets on mountain peaks, smiles exchanged with neighbors, the look on a student’s face when they understand.
I can’t help but wonder what America would be like if more people embraced simple.
Keep it simple today.

Get to know someone today

Pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for lunch. Invite someone you’d like to learn from, someone you could get to know a little better.

Choose four questions to bring along with you:

  • What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
  • Favorite aspect of your work?
  • Most challenging part of your job?
  • You can pick one person to have coffee with. Who would it be?
  • Where do you go for inspiration?
  • What do you do to recharge?
  • Last meaningful book you read?
  • If you had an extra hour each day, how would you spend it?
  • If you were gifted one million dollars, what would you do?

Tomorrow, send a thank you email with two things you learned.