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Tag: personal growth

Pick your word

It’s been a heck of a year and with a few days left, I want to share a ritual of mine: Choose a word, a theme you’d like to set for for the year to come. (This year my word was “Courage,” and boy, did I need it.) For 2021, I’m choosing “Joy.” I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to welcome more spark, more pleasure, more happiness, and more fun.

Tell me your word for the year to come @redheadlefthand.

Sending greetings and wishes for a restorative, healthy, and calm new year — a year filled with laughter, joy, and magic.

Take 5

Tell 5 people you appreciate them.

Think of 5 things you love about yourself.

Set aside 5 minutes to write.

List 5 goals you want to achieve by week’s end.

Check-in with 5 people who appear strong.

Remember 5 obstacles you’ve overcome.

Thank 5 service workers.

Choose 5 songs you can play the next time you feel anxious.

Invite 5 people to a Zoom call.

Bookmark 5 websites that inspire you.

Tape 5 quotes next to your workstation.

Make 5 calls to people who might be struggling.

Take 5 deep breaths.

Become the student

As systems and communities continue to evolve and change, the need to learn and listen is paramount.

Where is the line between advocacy and appropriation, and how can you appreciate groups you’re not a part of?

Appreciation is grounded in honor and respect, a genuine curiosity for a group and its people. This rides on the wings of earnestness; a desire to explore and understand.

Appropriation, however, has personal gain buried into action. Attention-seeking behavior has the power to hurt and harm both individuals and groups. More often than not, a negative stereotype is reinforced.

The divide between cultural appreciation and appropriation is a delicate perimeter outlined by intention.

Failing to identify intention can turn any well-meaning action into a divisive mechanism. If your intention isn’t clear, chances are high that you may unintentionally play into harmful stereotypes.

Revisit the reasons behind what you’re doing and why — and who your behavior might reach. The more you understand yourself and the factors that contribute to the way in which you see the world, the better you’ll be at developing empathy and authentic respect. Once you’ve assessed the role of your actions and your relationship to the culture or group of people you’re interested in, set out to learn.

Bring curiosity and kindness into your interactions. Let others guide conversations. It’s important to remember that having an experience does not equal true understanding. Questions open doors. 

Genuine curiosity and kindness are roots from which appreciation and reverence can blossom. From intention, humility and respect grow.

Look with love

We have been taught to search for faults, to find the shortcomings not only in ourselves but in others. This is unfortunate for many reasons.

By focusing on “what’s wrong,” we lose the opportunity to turn towards ourselves and those around us with acceptance and compassion. Reflecting upon innate worth opens doors to love and learning.

Through awareness, we can identify what makes us human. This shared humanity is what is most deserving of kindness and respect. Cultivating gratitude and realistic appreciation of self and others can be challenging — but comes with big payoffs.

For today, begin by regarding yourself with kindness. Write down ten sentences that represent who you are and the gifts you provide to the world. Think about the ways in which your life is enriched by these traits and observe any feelings of gratitude that arise as you complete this exercise.

I am adventurous and enjoy challenges.

I am a creative individual who contributes thoughtfully to my world.

I am a brave leader who has tried initiatives few others have dreamed of.

I am a considerate friend and reach out to those I care about.

I am generous and give mindfully to others.

I am disciplined and complete goals I set out for myself.

I am energetic and sincere.

I am a compassionate person who is willing to consider the worldview of other people.

I am trustworthy and keep my word.

I am loving and passionate, dedicated and accepting.

After writing your sentences, take time to review each statement.

Let me know how it goes @redheadlefthand.

Last year it was 35 acts of kindness. This year: 36 letters.

Getting older isn’t always looked upon favorably, but I’d like to think I’m becoming more confident and more thoughtful each year. On August 6, I turn 36.

Leading up to my birthday, my goal is to write 36 letters. The hope is to share gratitude and inspire generosity and love within my friend circles.

Consideration should be the norm, not the exception, and I believe — now more than ever before — it is our responsibility to make the communities in which we live more tolerant and kind. That’s my birthday wish.

Draft your dream team

As the coach of your life, be sure these players are on your team:

The Mentor – This is a person you respect and admire, someone who’s “been there.” You see their life and think “That’s what I want.” These people remind you to look at the big picture.

An Advisee – Someone you mentor. They are eager to learn from you and respect your work. Your willingness to teach them and spend time with them reaffirms your own knowledge and skills, even reminding you where you’ve come from and lessons you’ve learned along the way.

Your Advocate – No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, you need people who fight for you and honor what you stand for.

Supporting Star – You challenge each other to become the best you can be. You compare notes, support each other, and get competitive when it’s beneficial. This could be a colleague or friend, someone you feel comfortable delegating work to or can trust to help when you unexpectedly head out of town.

A Neutral – This is someone who can provide an outside perspective when needed, a person with no direct investment in your life or work.

The Wildcard – The Wildcard is just that, wild. Someone in an industry completely different than your own, an energy that keeps you on your toes and brings you new ideas and experiences.

The people around you can make the difference between pushing beyond your limits and settling for less. Find those who motivate, inspire, and encourage you to do better.

Modified from this post, March 2013.