bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch.

Tag: perception

You belong in this room.

Don’t sell yourself short.

You aren’t to be ordered about. You are here as a professional.

Everyone else is as uncertain as you are. They may even be more afraid. Yet they’ve made the decision to not let any of this get in their way. They’ve made the choice to show up and be present, regardless of insecurity and fear.

You have a choice to make.

The first few times might be a show. You may have to talk yourself into it. Once you’re there, you may whisper hurtful names to yourself — pretender, phony, fake. Ignore that voice. Slowly, gradually, that whisper will fade and be replaced with an unmistakeable assertion. A knowing, a conviction, a sense of belonging that will lead you to places you had never before considered.

Tolerate discomfort.

The journey often starts with a moment of anxiety, terror, self doubt, even despair. It’s temporary. In time, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. The decision to put yourself in the game will become easier, and the unknown will appear less of a threat.

Accept the invitation.

Claim your space. Believe that you can hold your own. Ask questions that can’t be avoided. Demonstrate why you must be reckoned with.

You must show up.

If you’re not in the room, we can’t listen, we can’t watch your magic, and you won’t get any better. Tell us — show us — why should we stop here, with you, and not continue on.

Lead by example

Whether a small business or large corporation, the head must act in a forthright, admirable way for the chain of command to follow suit. Same applies to smaller groups of people: the leader sets the tone for what is acceptable and what is not, setting the pace for others to follow.

By pushing yourself to be the very best you can be, you inspire those around you, build trust within your team, and encourage others to lead principled lives.

Great leadership shouldn’t be difficult to come by. Neither should integrity.

Choose your category

Some people live on the edge of what’s possible. They defy expectations and buck norms.
Some people follow what has come before. They do what they are told and stay in line.
Some people wander aimlessly. They dream about “what if” and believe success finds the lucky. They attribute greatness to others, failing to see it in themselves.
The difference lies in the acknowledgement of your worth, the realization of your strengths, confidence in your unique talents (for nobody does it quite like you), and the conversion of belief into action.

Pick yours.

Are you in love with your problem?

A few months ago, I found myself in a room with Seth Godin and a small group of eager entrepreneurs. Seth posed the following question:

 “Are you so in love with your problem you’re unwilling to try an imperfect solution?”

This prompted me to wonder how many situations I’ve refused to relinquish control, choosing instead to hold out for that perfect, golden answer that would fix everything in one fell swoop. This refuse to settle mantra has gotten in my way and prevented me from taking steps concrete steps of action.
I know I’m not the only one.
Looking around the room that day, every attendee had scrawled their own dilemmas onto scraps of paper. It may come as no surprise that every one of these problems had a solution that another attendee could devise. It wasn’t that any of these attendees were unexperienced, unintelligent, or unmotivated. Quite the opposite.

It can be easier to hold onto a problem than attempt a resolution that might fail.

We come up with hundreds of reasons why we shouldn’t or can’t, so we don’t. We develop relationships with the problem itself, telling ourselves stories that may or may not be true. We believe our inner dialogue (“It just can’t be done.”), electing inaction over failure and fear. Only the very best for our problems, nothing less!
Of course, we’re able to consider another’s issue with relative calm. As outsiders, we lack the emotional connection and historical weight that the owner carries. We use our own fresh eyes to create probable solutions with creativity and ease, even wondering what the fuss was about in the first place.
Then we arrive at our own obstacles (or put them off for as long as possible), and we’re stuck.
I’d like to ask you the same:

Are you willing to try something that might not work?

Disappointing relationships? It could be you.

I often hear the following:

  • My relationships aren’t fulfilling.
  • I’m not meeting the right people.
  • I’m not as connected as I’d like to be.
  • My employees don’t respect me.
  • My team isn’t as close as when we first began.
  • I’m not introduced in the way that I’d like.
  • I can’t find people who share my interests.

It’s easy to place the blame on outside factors and fault something external, something beyond our control — a difficult situation, a partner’s deficit, the inability of a client to clearly communicate. The challenging route is an active one, requiring self-discipline and honest assessment. For example:

  • How do I represent myself across different areas of my life (to friends, acquaintances, strangers, colleagues, my family)?
  • Are the activities I participate in an accurate representation of my innermost dreams and ambitions?
  • Do I frequent similar kinds of situations expecting different results?
  • Am I investing time and intention to create meaningful relationships?
  • Do I carefully and thoughtfully communicate with others?

Self-analysis can be trying, confusing, and difficult to navigate; however, it is an essential step in identifying the roles we create in our lives.
How do you contribute to common perceptions of your character and personality? What behaviors do you repeat that fail to serve you in your most valued personal and professional relationships?
Most often, the gate towards fulfilling, meaningful connection begins with you.

3 tips to make your meeting count

Tip #1: If you’re looking to connect meaningfully, place the other before you.

Most successful people are busy people. They’ve carved time out of their day to meet with you. Time is a resource neither party can redeem after you’ve parted ways. Be considerate.

After every meeting, thank each and every person for their contribution and time. A follow up thank you builds rapport and communicates respect, paving the way towards a meaningful connection. Your thank you also provides an opportunity to make sure your intent and needs have been clearly communicated.

Tip #2: People cannot help you if they don’t know how.

“I’m looking for a job” will quickly place you into a forgotten drawer of miscellaneous. However, confidently stating, “I’m looking to support locally owned restaurants with sustainable missions” positions you in a specific category, making your ask an easy recall. Guess who will be first in mind when any kind of opportunity in the health, wellness, hospitality, sustainable industries pops up? Be specific and know what you want. People generally want to see you succeed and will help if they know how.

Tip #3: Jazzy Jane from Toledo is sitting by the cheese dip.

Effective networking and memorable impressions go hand in hand. It’s like learning names. Create a colorful story when you first meet someone, and you’ll have an easier time asking them to pass the salad bowl.

What characteristics separate you from the crowd? Practice telling your unique narrative to a friend. If you aren’t comfortable making your remarkable presence known, chances are high that you won’t during your meeting, either.