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Excitement vs fear

Racing heart, quickened pulse, shallow breathing, heightened awareness, tingling extremities.

What does that sound like to you?
It’s easy to group anxiety, fear, nervousness, and excitement together because we physically experience them in similar ways.  What distinguishes these sensations from each other is the lens through which we perceive them.
Fear often stops us in our tracks, preventing us from progression and development. It’s the tree falling directly onto our chosen path, leaving us questioning whether we’re heading down the right road. It’s a powerful paralysis.
Excitement is that green light encouraging us to move forward and do. It provides the permission, space, and courage to dream and make big things happen. A close relative of passion and creativity, excitement feeds and propels one towards action.

Our opportunity is the moment in which we step back and observe our fears, quietly noticing what excites us.

How do you interpret your tightening muscles and thumping heart?
Can you slow your breathing just enough to focus on the present moment?
Would the situation change if you rephrased fear as excitement?
Are you stunting your ideas, growth, curiosity, and ability to create?
What it would be like to run towards the situation, instead of away?

Common situations that feel scary:

  • just before a big presentation
  • entering a new environment
  • unexpected scenarios
  • meeting a senior partner
  • visiting a new place
  • job interviews
  • cold-calling new sales leads
  • proposing your idea to the team
  • quitting your job
  • transitions
  • large events (weddings, family reunions, corporate gatherings)
  • conflicts
  • first dates
  • public speaking

Recognize how you assimilate these kinds of experiences. Be the armchair anthropologist of your own life and simply observe. Then, challenge yourself to turn fear into excitement. Practice patience with your fear (and yourself), and use physical sensations as an internal compass. See if you can push past what you’re afraid of and bring excitement to the table.
I’ve found the things that excite and scare me often deliver the greatest rewards.

your dream job is on your desk

What if someone told you that you missed the boat? That the golden ticket to a beautiful home, a happy heart, and an adventurous life was in your back pocket?

What would happen if your phone rang and your boss declared you an asset to the company? If the grocery store clerk looked straight into your eyes and called you a visionary?

What if you found out that “perfect moment” you’ve been waiting for already happened?

What if…

It’s time to find out.

I’ve designed a new offering — part seminar, mentoring circle, book club, networking accelerator, an experience like no other — to challenge you to think beyond “what if” and start venturing into this is it. The first session begins after the holiday season, so you can launch your dreams and your life in a whole new way in 2013.

Learn more about the why and the what here.

A free ebook

Something big is happening. A movement is bubbling, rising to the surface. And it’s about relationships.

People are recognizing the true value of connection. They are refusing to settle for superficial conversation and are looking for relationships that hold real meaning in their lives. More and more individuals are organizing, coming together, creating change. The capacity for what can happen when the right people find themselves united is infinite.

We each have the ability to contribute to this movement by creating more connections in our own world.

I’ve written a free ebook to encourage you to do so. I hope that after reading, you’ll be inspired to bring together the people in your circle, in whatever way you can. A dinner party is a great way to start.

an entrepreneur’s two sided coin

Nothing — criminals, graduate school, Social Media Week, Seth Godin — prepared me for what it takes to be an entrepreneur.

There are many warm, idealistic perceptions of the life of an entrepreneur. Being your own boss, running your own show, creating things that matter, following your bliss. Anyone who has groveled at a desk job is lying if they say they haven’t dreamed of what it would be like to play by a different set of rules. Fantasies of setting your own schedule and having more dimes in your pockets seem anything but illicit.

And the success stories! It’s thrilling to hear about the one who struck it rich, the single mother whose idea took off, the underdog whose product went viral, the family man who sold his company to pursue his passion. We love them. We try to find where they drink. We scour articles and books instructing us how to live passionately and make money while doing it.

Very rarely do we hear about the shitty parts of the process.

If we do, it’s after the big win (and even then, we tend to gloss over those not-so-appealing details). The long hours, the misdirection, the insecurities, the unknown, the uncertainties, the sacrifices, the pain, the anxieties, the waffling bank account. The struggle isn’t what we want to buy. We want the finished product. The clean, packaged version. We shy away from the gritty, dirty parts, and when they happen to us, we’re not sure if we’re on track.

Moments of rolling around on the floor is exactly what is needed for ideas to manifest.

It’s those moments of doubt and despair that prompt action. And it is such moments that make us human, vulnerable, approachable, relatable. Because of these unglamorous, unspoken phases, we champion the entrepreneur. We marvel at their guts, their innovation, their creativity, and their gumption. We should consider celebrating the failures, too.

No experience mimics that initial jump into the unknown and the subsequent thrashing that occurs.

I remember the way my heart would race as I entered the county jail to conduct interviews. I’ve known long work weeks, late nights, early mornings, and the loss of self to put on a good show. I’ve felt the pressure of “that one shot,” that chance of doing something really great, and the pressure of not fucking it up. And I felt the flip side of when it did go well, the postpartum that can follow. I’ve shipped and failed then shipped something else and waited to see what happens.

It’s testing. There’s no guidebook, no rules, no one tells you what to do or what needs to happen.

Nothing will properly prepare you. You don’t need a certain degree, specific experience, or a different title. The project is yours, and it’s waiting for you to give it life. There is no known. There is only doing. And today.

You may never be ready. You might try and realize it’s not for you. But you’ll never learn if you don’t at least try. You must learn through action.

So go and test. Test, and test again.

It’s a set up.

I say this phrase often, and most of the time people don’t know what I’m talking about.

I think of life as a set up.

Why? You can either set yourself up for success or failure.

Think about it: from the people you’re with to the clothes you wear to the books you read to the ways you spend your after hours, you are making choices. I’ll say it again.

You are making choices that directly impact your happiness and chance at success. Daily.

I know it can suck to hear this. And I also know that yes, life can throw curveballs and things that exist beyond our control. Accidents happen.

But generally speaking…

The reason you’re lonely isn’t their fault.

The people who are happy aren’t just lucky.

The successful people on top don’t just end up there.

It’s a result of painstakingly HARD WORK.

The choices aren’t always easy ones, and I won’t lie and tell you there won’t be days you feel like quitting.

Make an effort.

Put yourself in situations to gain the experience you need.

Surround yourself with people who can elevate, encourage, and inspire you.

Identify what you need to get where you want to go, and make it happen. 

Set yourself up for the life you truly want.

What is your special?

You have something to offer no one else has.

Your choice is whether or not to share it with others.

You have a unique twist, a special tint coloring your work and the way you see the world.

Find people and environments that encourage this.