bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch.

Tag: passion

A certain moment

There’s a moment you realize you’ve been living a lie. In fact, you haven’t really been living at all, you’ve just been going through the motions. You’ve performed what’s expected of you, doing what it takes to make it to five o’clock.

Suddenly, you realize that you possess the distinct power to create the life you thought was reserved only for others.

You recognize that you can choose to step in the direction of your dreams.

You finally realize that no one else can dictate your journey. You don’t have to wait to be put in the game. You can build a happy ending. You can choose to be the star.

If you haven’t had this moment yet, find people who have and ask them to help you get there yourself.

Transitions

I’m often asked how I made the transition from social work to social curation. If I’m honest, I never dreamed of having my own business or running my own show. In fact, for a very long time, I was looking for the perfect job, desperately trying to figure out how to craft the perfect cover letter to land the interview that would set me on a fulfilling and profitable career path.

I wish I could say I woke up one morning and realized this dream job was something I could actually create.

It started slowly, with an idea, and — drip by drip! — grew from experimentation to action.

You, too, can start small. You don’t need to have a finished product on the table before you decide to go. Simply identify what’s important to you, acknowledge your skills, and begin to make choices that excite you.

You don’t have to figure it all out today.

The things that really mean something take time.

Dream chasers

Many years ago, a coach gave me an assignment that altered the course of my life. I’d like to share it with you, in hopes it might have a similar impact on the way you choose to live.

Write down a list of 50 – 100 things you’d like to do before you die.

My original list contained 88 items, a list of tasks ranging from intangibles to concrete — simple pleasures of learning how to tie a tie, to the (at the time) seemingly lofty goals of being in a movie, finishing a marathon, and being comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve revisited this list several times throughout the years. It’s acted as a guidepost for finding my passion and sorting out impulse from destiny. Sometimes it’s difficult to decide whether life choices are due to circumstance or something more intentional. One of my biggest fears is missing the boat, never finding true happiness and failing to follow my bliss. This list helps. It’s been an anchor.

Not to mention, it’s difficult to forge ahead if you don’t have a direction. I didn’t always know this and found tremendous challenge in commitment. But believe it or not, if you focus your efforts, you’re much more likely to get it done.

I’ve sat here and debated whether sharing this list is the right thing, but I have chosen to do so with the hope that it inspires at least one person to chase after their dreams. That’s worth a vulnerable moment.

Some items are outdated. Some I consider now and have no desire for it. Others aren’t even realistic. The point is to allow yourself to play, to dream, to explore. If you don’t “go there” in your mind, how could you any way else? Once it’s on paper, you can always return to it and assess if it’s probable or something you’d actually like to direct your energy towards.

First, create a block of time; carve it out on your calendar and set aside one hour to just write. Don’t pause to question. Just go. You might surprise yourself. I’d love to hear how it goes.

The point is, you’re never “too old” to start dreaming again.

What’s getting in the way of your dream chasing?

Note: this list was written in 2004. The “X” indicates completion. Italicized items are in process…

  1. Write/publish/sell a book
  2. Get published in a magazine X
  3. Display work in an art gallery X
  4. Do a triathlon X
  5. Backpack South America X
  6. Inspire/help a “troubled teen” X
  7. Be a counselor X
  8. Get my masters X (possible Ph.D.?)
  9. Volunteer again in a different country X
  10. Learn how to cook well X
  11. Go back to New Zealand
  12. Get better at guitar
  13. Play basketball again X
  14. Play soccer again X
  15. Go to Canada X
  16. Go to Seattle X
  17. See Egypt
  18. See Tibet
  19. Fall in love again X
  20. Live in a house with a green garden, beautiful flowers X
  21. Learn to salsa dance X
  22. Be in a movie X
  23. Own a small shop (gift/crafty type? or coffee?) X
  24. Improve 1/2 marathon time
  25. Buy a piano
  26. Study in a Buddhist center (retreat? school? etc.) X
  27. Learn moderation and balance X
  28. Learn a language X
  29. Have a flower garden X
  30. Grown own veggies X
  31. Hike the Grand Canyon
  32. Paragliding X
  33. Windsurf
  34. Surf X
  35. Go to Maine/Boston during fall X
  36. Taj Mahal X
  37. See a penguin in the wild X
  38. Learn how to juggle
  39. Go sailing X
  40. Hot air balloon! X
  41. Swim with dolphins
  42. Scuba dive
  43. Have my own art room/studio
  44. Camp in Yellowstone X
  45. Be a bridesmaid for [name protected]’s wedding X
  46. Own a scooter/motorcycle/moped X
  47. Drive a convertible, windows down, music up
  48. Spain
  49. Scandinavia X
  50. Southern Italy
  51. Be a bartender X
  52. Visit Westminster Abbey
  53. Tour Switzerland on a bike
  54. Learn how to tie a tie X
  55. Live/work abroad X
  56. Cruise to Alaska
  57. Visit Cuba
  58. See Jonny Lang in concert X
  59. Own another husky or dog X
  60. Learn how to ski better X
  61. Become less stubborn, prideful, more patient X
  62. Get rid of “perfectionist” X
  63. Walk through Big Sequoias
  64. Make a candle and give it to someone X
  65. Encourage someone to “be better” X
  66. Take a friend to a Day at the Spa X
  67. Be comfortable in my skin X
  68. Work on set/backstage X
  69. Family – one day
  70. Learn to say “no” X
  71. Become friends with a Tai Chi instructor X
  72. Host a very successful party X
  73. Go on a date in NYC X
  74. Be a travel writer/photographer X
  75. Take care of myself (don’t let self go)
  76. Get faster, fitter, leaner, healthier
  77. Improve diet X
  78. Cliff dive X
  79. Go on a rafting/canoe trip X
  80. Live by the sea
  81. African safari X
  82. Run on the Great Wall
  83. Find my purpose, align with passions X
  84. Marathon X
  85. Participate in a drum circle X
  86. Visit a reservation X
  87. Milk a cow X

Redefine work

It’s no wonder we consider work very separate from play. It’s hounded into our heads since we’re able to talk.

We watch Dad grimace as he races to work, and Mom moan about never having enough time (and she doesn’t look like she’s having fun). We’re given hours to learn, write, read, and make things. We have separate hours to talk, move, go outside, discover, and mess around. Recess becomes our gold.

Once the school bell rings freedom, homework hours stand between us and our reward: time to play and make mischief. We quickly learn that good behavior and productivity yields more play time. Decisions are easy.

Then we’re told to find jobs. Quite naturally, we look for ones that bestow upon us the right to play. We look for more money, more time, more vacation hours to do the things we really want to do.

“Work” becomes the vehicle through which play is possible, our income, our sacrifice. Worse yet, boredom. “Play” stands for our hobbies, our leisure, our rest.

Darlene Cohen, author of The One Who Is Not Busy, spells it out:

“We describe our activity as either ‘busy’ or ‘not busy,’ either productively working or taking a blissful break from working. But actually it is possible to experience both ‘busy’ and ‘not busy’ simultaneously, to reach beyond the labels and connect with our work in a way that is deeply satisfying. What this requires is that we develop the breadth of vision and the mental flexibility to be both busy and not busy at the very same time.”

Is it possible to shift our perceptions and redefine what’s work and what’s play?

Can you turn one into the other and find joy in each?

envy

Instead of wasting time and energy wanting what someone else has…

Why not create it for yourself?

Jumping is scary. Do it anyway.

As a young woman, I hitchhiked alone and traveled across many countries. I went head-to-head with lawyers and counseled delinquents. I earned a masters from an ivy-league, received a state license, and wrangled my way into an entirely new industry. I directed and designed and produced successful events, facilitating valuable connections between people who otherwise might not have met.

But it wasn’t enough.

I needed more experience. I wanted more connections. I didn’t have enough knowledge. I wasn’t ready. And if I’m entirely honest, I didn’t think I was enough. (Turns out, I was wrong. I just needed to jump.)
I know I’m not the only one. Everyday I talk to entrepreneurs, corporate executives, and artists who struggle to take the first leap into the unknown.

…It’s not the right time…I don’t have the resources…I can’t find the time…I’m worried about money…

We do this to ourselves. We sabotage our dreams. We’re afraid.

Deep down, we know that if we put our mind to it, we have the capabilities to break our biggest goals into manageable, digestible chunks. But we over-chew. We convince ourselves the path we’ve been traveling on, the one we’ve been walking down for some time, is the safest and best option. We lower the height of our own sky and the limits to which we’re capable of flying. We lull ourselves into forgetting the sweet deliciousness of new experiences.

Fortunately, it’s never too late. It is just a matter of making that decision.

You must choose. Nothing will happen until you decide to venture away from the safe waters into territory where there is no rulebook, no play-by-play. While you can find leaders and teachers and people whose experiences might mimic your own (and it is imperative that you do), there is no “on the job training.” It’s up to you to figure it out.

Sometimes the hardest thing is recognizing what you want. The next hardest is to begin. By recognizing there’s no prescribed way to land that dream job, dream family, dream life, we open ourselves to an entirely new world. A world that is uniquely ours to create.

Dare yourself. Set goals and work backwards. Plan checkpoints along the way and reward yourself when you reach them. Gather information, collect the necessary experiences, and confidently step in the direction of your dreams.

Don’t hold yourself back. If not for yourself, do it for the people around you. Show them what it looks like to lead a life that is uniquely yours, a life filled with magic and dreams and adventure.

Jump.