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Tag: intention

When you’ve been hurt

Your heart is broken. Maybe for the first time, maybe for the fifth. You have two choices now.

You can allow pain and anger to seep through your being and go about shielding yourself from any scenario that might cause these feelings again. This will undoubtedly result in limited encounters with the world, stifled relationships, and a blunted emotional experience.

OR

You can look for the lessons. You can dive into the pain and see if you can find greater understanding, more peace, more authenticity, and more focus than ever before. Instead of running, you can sit with the experience and breathe into it, knowing that eventually, slowly, it will pass. That in time small ripples of joy will wash healing currents through your life.

Past failures and disappointments only dictate your future if you let them. Seek out daily moments of magic and wonder. Flashes of lightening in a night sky. The impish smirk of a young child. The rustle of leaves at dusk. Kindness between strangers.

This is how you go on.

“Good enough.”

Every hour you are faced with choices that force you to evaluate and re-evaluate your priorities. Often you have to say no to others, disappointing them and maybe even yourself.
How do you judge yourself when you take on different roles? Is your inner voice harsh or condescending?
Your perspective is more than likely more critical than of those around you. What would you say to a friend taking on your same sets of responsibilities and challenges?
You don’t always have to knock it out of the park or take on every fire. Do the best you can.
You are enough.

Working backwards, piece by piece

Vary rarely are goals — especially big ones — accomplished at once. Piece by piece, day by day, small actions lead up to the final result, the dream that inspired you from the beginning. This is why working backwards can help you get what you want.

Set your BIG goal and plan corresponding “mini-goals” that lead you to where you want to be. Often times the end goal can seem too far away and too discouraging to continue, but smaller, daily actions can keep your focus and intention in check.

Dream big, as big as you can, then identify the smaller steps you need to take to get there.

To fall in love, do this:

A few years ago, a NYTimes piece lured readers with the secret to relational bliss. The author detailed her personal experience based on psychological research claiming to make two strangers fall in love. By asking intimate questions and demanding two individuals spend quality time together — even holding each other’s gaze for four minutes — the pair were believed to cement a relationship.

Of course, relationships take time and care and persistent, almost stubborn commitment. But at the heart of two people choosing to share life and love is curiosity. Curiosity about your partner’s preferences and dreams. Questions that dare to journey beyond the superficial: goals and fears and heartache and hopes.

Not sure where to begin? These 36 questions can help you get started. Or listen to the original NYTimes piece on the Modern Love podcast.

Your job description

It’s likely you interviewed for a specific set of tasks and duties, and that these same expectations were reviewed after you took the job. You may notice, however, that the longer you spend in the position, the more you observe inefficiencies — perhaps even inequalities — in your workplace.
“It’s not my job,” is a feeble excuse for standing by when you could be stepping up. Caring often isn’t written explicitly on your contract, but caring is exactly what you should do if you want the next salary bump…and if you want to be a better human.

What do you stand for?

How do you define yourself?
Who (and what) are you committed to?
When do you say No?
When (and how) have you failed?
Which decision would you remake?
Where do you spend most of your time?
Who (and what) do you love?
When was the last time you redefined yourself?
Are you afraid of change?