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Tag: explore

Rules for Adventurous Living

“You’re so lucky! I want your life!”
If you’ve heard this, you probably know luck has very little to do with it.
If you haven’t, you, too, can live the life that gets people asking, “How do you do it?” by following these tips for living adventurously:

Don’t: Be afraid of looking like a fool.

The “foolish” moments are the stories you’ll share later on. You won’t always have the answers, and on some days, you’ll feel like you are grasping at straws. This is how you grow. When you expose your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, you’ll place yourself in situations and in relationships that will stretch your understanding of the world and test your mettle. And when you meet people who are living the life, don’t be afraid to ask them: “How are you doing it?”

Don’t: Shy away from mistakes.

Screwing up means you’re learning, and if you’re worried about making a mess, you’re going to lead a very boring existence. The grit and the dirt and the flailing around is what gives life texture. Mistakes can be our biggest teachers. If you’re not making any, you’re probably not stretching yourself. Adventure comes from trying, failing, getting back up, and trying again.

Do: Lean on the help of others.

I used to be unreasonably afraid of asking for help. Asking for something meant I was not capable of providing for myself or I miscalculated something in someway. Wrong. Deeper relationships can develop once you let go of your ego. By allowing someone else to help you, you’ll be given a glimpse into their world as you navigate your own. People want to help, but you must first give them permission to do so.

Do: Appreciate the little things.

Cherish wins, no matter how small. Take time to savor each moment. Step away from work, gadgets and screens and invest hours giving to others or spending time with your family. Sometimes you need an afternoon to do nothing — send a few greeting cards and go for a walk. The most exciting stories can emerge from everyday activities. Seeing routine with fresh eyes can make the world of difference.

Don’t: Always shoot from the hip.

While serendipity can be magical, strategic moves are necessary. Too much risk can cause unstable footing, and clear vision vision can help minimize losses while informing calculated choices. Identify your top priorities and work backwards to move closer to your personal finish line.

Do: Think…but don’t think too much.

Believe it or not, you can get in your own way. Over-thinking can be counterproductive and distract you from hidden gems. If you try to plan each and every move, you’ll rob yourself from the mystery and delight of unexpected surprise. Hand over the keys and let your heart lead the way. Once your intuition grabs the wheel, your destination might pleasantly surprise you.

Don’t: Be too busy for kindness. Ever.

This cannot be overstated. We are all in this together. Why not make the folks around you shine just a little brighter while you’re at it? Look for ways to infuse kindness into your day-to-day. Surprise a loved one with a note, pack lunch for a neighbor, host a dinner party for your closest friends.

Do: Say thank you.

What goes around comes around. A simple “thank you” can open more doors than you could possibly imagine. Thoughtful reflection reminds you where you’ve come from and where you’re going, and gratitude works both ways. You need to express it as much as the people around you need to hear it.

29 thoughts from a 29-year-old

  1. Decide to get it done. Commit. Go.
  2. Goals will keep you on track.
  3. Fears take on tricky disguises. Call them out or enlist the help of someone who can.
  4. Helping others is one of the best things you can do with your time.
  5. You will learn more traveling than sitting in a classroom.
  6. Relationships are containers for growth.
  7. Be kind.
  8. Laugh more.
  9. It’s OK to make mistakes.
  10. It’s OK to admit you’re wrong.
  11. It’s OK to say no.
  12. Sometimes you don’t know what you want. Do what you enjoy, instead.
  13. Metabolism can be cruel; eat healthy, get sleep, be good to yourself.
  14. Take more risks.
  15. If it excites you, do it.
  16. No one else will know your value until you do.
  17. You don’t need permission to act. Stop waiting to be told.
  18. Finished is better than half started.
  19. Give others permission to recognize your worth.
  20. Stop waiting for perfect. “Good enough” is just fine. Perfect doesn’t exist.
  21. Nothing is permanent.
  22. No decision is irreversible.
  23. It’s never “too late.”
  24. People can change.
  25. Love is what happens after the butterflies fade.
  26. Home is a place you create for yourself.
  27. Get outside daily.
  28. Dream big. Great, now dream bigger.
  29. Hold nothing back.

3 simple ways to bring serendipity into your life

Some of the best connections happen when you least expect it. Call it luck, fate or serendipity, there’s something magical about meeting the right person at the right time. The secret lies in getting out of your comfort zone and letting serendipity lead the way. 3 tips to get you started:

1. Force yourself to be social.

The moments you don’t feel like meeting new people… I swear, if you can get yourself out of the house, you’re going to have the time of your life. Chances are you will meet someone who will blow your mind. Think of it as Murphy’s Law for connection.

2. Haven’t been to the library since high school? Go now.

Place yourself in new environments and step outside of your typical routine. Go to a different coffee shop. Skip the gym and exercise in the park. STOP DOING THE SAME THINGS.

3. Throw caution to the wind.

Say yes. More often. Accept party invites. Accept any invite. Go to coffee dates, lunch meetings, conferences — just go. If you’re on the fence, say yes. Let go of your schedule and intentionally disrupt your routine. You will be rewarded.

Talk serendipity and more during today’s #cxchat (2pm EST) and read summaries from past chat events here.

Tipping the scale

The first [move, action, event, product, decision] is always the scariest, most anxiety provoking, most intimidating. Getting beyond that initial hump becomes a matter of mettle and courage as you muster the courage you need to leap over fear.

Can you build a framework that sets you up so that if you don’t do x-y-z, you can recognize that fear has won? Fix your gaze, define your goal, and work backwards to develop concrete steps that corner you into action. Make it impossible to do nothing.

Once you have a plan in place and you’ve deliberately chosen to ignore it (develop excuses or suddenly become “too busy”), your work is then to name your fear and dive headfirst into your beliefs about yourself and the world.

Get out of your own way. You can always choose to do nothing, but I dare you to tip the scale. Let me know what steps you’re taking to move the needle.

67 things to feel absolutely OK about

  1. admitting you’re wrong
  2. changing your mind
  3. carefully making decisions
  4. stillness
  5. failing
  6. taking big risks
  7. doing things for free
  8. doing what you’re good at
  9. doing nothing
  10. charging what you’re worth
  11. quitting
  12. losing
  13. aiming high
  14. falling flat
  15. guessing
  16. your emotions
  17. anxiety
  18. nervousness
  19. reading and rereading and reading two or three more times your working draft
  20. standing in line
  21. speaking up for yourself
  22. disagreeing with leaders
  23. backing down
  24. making your own rules
  25. recognizing your priorities
  26. saying no
  27. saying yes
  28. revisiting your goals
  29. rewording your story
  30. waiting for the right moment
  31. sending an email with a spelling mistake
  32. rehearsing your conversation
  33. practicing your pitch again and again (and again!)
  34. writing down what you’re planning to say
  35. fear
  36. uncertainty
  37. making lists
  38. leaving lists unfinished
  39. eating dessert
  40. shutting off your phone
  41. leaving emails unanswered
  42. making a mess
  43. working on vacation
  44. sleeping in
  45. envy
  46. rejection
  47. yourself
  48. being different
  49. being alone
  50. wanting a tribe
  51. setting boundaries
  52. avoiding unknown social situations
  53. crying
  54. caring “too much”
  55. seeing a half-empty glass
  56. seeing a glass that is half full
  57. singing out of tune
  58. dancing without rhythm
  59. hugging
  60. not having a plan
  61. being the odd one out
  62. asking questions
  63. observing
  64. laughing in a meeting
  65. being the boss
  66. redefining professionalism
  67. answering “I don’t know.”

Get out of a career that isn’t working for you

Several years ago, I made the transition from social worker to social curator. My time spent working in courtrooms and jail cells paved the way for boardroom negotiations and architecting group dynamics. When I tell people my story, questions ultimately focus on how I made this transition. Part curiosity, part plea for guidance, people want to know how it’s done, the best way to make the change, and why one might forfeit investment and status in an preexisting career.
The fact is most of us have found ourselves in positions we don’t care for — stifling work environments, tedious responsibilities, redundant tasks, meaningless contributions. Baby Boomers reportedly hop from as many as fifteen (or more!) jobs during their working prime, and over half of college graduates are unable to land opportunities in their preferred fields.

It’s not your job. It’s your industry.

After spending years and precious dollars on education and training, the time and commitment you dump into your career is sacred. Changing industries seems daunting. It’s tempting to stay in a position because you’ve invested so much of yourself to get there.

Changing careers could lead to meaningful work.

A career change may not only benefit your wellbeing but also jump start your professional trajectory. The skills you’ve acquired in your current role may provide that extra edge you need to supercharge and lead a new team. Your unique perspective and approach could be a perfect addition to the innovative company looking for a competitive edge.
I won’t lie. The process of positioning yourself to land this new gig might be slow, gradual, even painful. You’ll have to plot deliberate steps until you’re able to carve a niche in a new industry.
I’ve found the risk and the work to be absolutely worth it, so I’ve pinpointed concrete steps to help others looking to make a change:
1. Meaningful conversations lead to meaningful relationships.

  • Talk. And talk a lot. Talk with people in the industry you’re leaving. Talk with people in the industry you’d like to enter. Talk with a counselor, a friend, a trusted advisor. Ask questions and get the good, bad, and the ugly of the move you’re looking to make. Leave no stone unturned and gather as much information as possible.
  • While you’re still in your present industry, focus your attention away from the work you’re dissatisfied with and onto the people who surround you. Schedule twenty-minute informational interviews to learn more about the opportunities within your dream industry and build rapport with role models.
  • Follow up emails and thank you notes to individuals who have helped you along your career journey build trust and credibility as you travel from one industry to the next. You never know when your paths may intersect, and positive recommendations during transitions are always a plus.

2. Get strategic.

  • Don’t make changes before clarifying your end goal. Your new career choice is now your research project. Work backwards until you develop a plan that makes sense.
  • Take time to honestly assess your strengths, skills, and talents before setting concrete goals. Start identifying transferable skills and look for ways to leverage these skills in various industries. Are you a master negotiator? Think about how these skills might apply within your intended field. Wanting to enter a position that requires skills you don’t have? Sign up for classes through Skillshare or General Assembly.

3. Actively seek opportunities.

  • Make the most of your after-hours: find freelance work, an apprenticeship, a new hobby. Spending time on things that bring you joy will infuse positive energy into your existing role and will help make your career change more manageable.
  • Look for additional work streams within your current position. Divert your focus away from your present job dissatisfaction and onto projects that excite you. By placing yourself in environments that can refine your talents and skills, you will attract the connections and opportunities that align with your career goals.
  • Schedule regular coffee dates with people you admire. Learn about their work habits, how they structure their days, how they got to where they are. Ask how they confront challenges and where they go to find inspiration.

4. Just do it.

  • Once you’ve decided a career change is the right move for you, carry applicable experience with you and confidently move forward.
  • Your industry transition will mostly likely feel intimidating: lost titles, less stability, a lower position on the hiring chain. Keep your eye on the prize.
  • Yes, it’s scary. You have to start somewhere.

5. Savor Beginner’s Mind.

  • Once you’ve made the leap, start slowly and take time to learn. You’re only a beginner once; enjoy your first entry into a new world.
  • Savor the ups and downs, the moments of exhilaration and frustration. Use your passion to propel a sharp learning curve and revel in your accomplished career change. You’re a traveler, an adventurer. Reflect, write, acknowledge your journey.

Have you you’ve ended up in an unexpected professional role? Did your education prepare you for the role you’re presently in? What skills have accompanied you along your career journey? I want to hear about your career change. Send me a note.