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Tag: dreams

When “some” is better than “done”

It’s tempting to delay beginnings. Starting a project carries a certain amount of anxiety and trepidation. Eventually this emotional upheaval is conquered, and a new relationship forms — a protective, cautious, calculating awareness of your dream. Your time, energy, passion, love, and sacrifice have been invested into this work, and your pride is as stake. Suddenly, progress is never just right, the piece is never perfect; it lies unfinished.

It’s up to you to define the dividing line between obsession and creation. It takes honesty and acceptance to separate work you’re proud of from slop that requires more attention. However, if you don’t begin, you won’t have anything to revise or shape. Your idea will be just that — an abstract concept with no real testing power.

What if you could accept a tolerable first iteration? Embrace the fact that unless you’re lucky or highly skilled, there’s a good chance you’ll look back at your first draft and cringe. Set specific goals and concrete checkpoints to overcome perfection paralysis and create something rather than nothing.

Do you wonder how other people get started? Not sure how to label finished from needs work? Ask others for tips during today’s twitter chat, 4pm EST (use #cxchat).

Do you have what you want?

True or false:

  1. Fairy tales are real.
  2. Adventure isn’t just for vacation.
  3. Your work can be meaningful.
  4. You have the ability to create more stability and security than with any employer.

Throughout my work with industry leaders, entrepreneurs, small business owners, and 1:1 clients, I’ve pinpointed three key areas that prevent belief in the above:

  • Resentment
  • Lack of focus
  • Stagnation (disguised fear)

As a result, I’ve developed a methodology to help people push beyond perceived limits and get what they really desire. It’s based on the following principles:

Get honest

Easier for some people than others… make the time and find someplace quiet to sit down and get real with yourself. You’ll need to make a commitment to be honest about what it is you want, how you spend your time, who your closest relationships are, what kind of environments nourish your soul. Being able to identify crucial aspects of your personality, character, likes, dislikes, and leadership preferences (do you listen, lead, or follow?) can help you with the next step.

Set goals

The goals you set for yourself provide the framework for your energy and efforts. Without specific goals, you won’t be as effective; your intentions and actions less efficient. The trick is to identify goals that are meaningful and relevant for you (sometimes folks confuse another person’s expectations and preferences with their own).

Once you’ve labeled what you want and have set both long and short-term goals accordingly, you’ll be able to do your best work. Get what you want by working backwards is a post that can help you create a plan that will crush obstacles and conquer blocks (both internal and external) that might stop you in your tracks. Your fears have a more difficult time hiding when you have concrete goals in mind and on paper.

Ship

The final stage, and perhaps the most important. Perfectionism, commitment issues, laziness, self hatred — these kinds of things show up here. Guess what? They’re mostly about fear. By forcing yourself to put your work into the world, you’ll learn that products don’t need to be perfect to be finished. You may even realize that your biggest obstacle in getting things done is…you. Ship, and show fear who is boss.

I’ve been using a tailored version of this formula with a number of clients and have watched incredible transformations take place. If you’re interested in learning more and seeing whether our work together might help you, feel free to drop me a note. I’d love to hear what’s working (and what isn’t) for you.

The best opportunities

Most really talented people are never discovered. Most will never make it onto the Best Sellers list, won’t speak at TED, won’t be contacted by NPR.

Chances are you may never find yourself on the big screen. That manuscript? It might end up in more trash cans than hands. And your promising business venture? You’ll be lucky if you get funded within the first ten pitches.

So you have a choice: you can sit back and wait to be called upon…

Or you can claim ownership of your own success.

Don’t wait for the best opportunities to find you. Create them.

Steps can you take to build your tribe, ship your art, design a viable solution — today:

  • Start a blog and schedule a regular publishing calendar.
  • Organize monthly roundtables with speakers of varied and interesting content.
  • Record a series of podcasts on subjects you’d like to learn more about.
  • Make sure your plan doesn’t include a stroke of luck or a winning lotto ticket.
  • Pitch your mentor, pitch your friend, practice your pitch on the stranger in the elevator.
  • Plan a film festival in a friend’s backyard (or rooftop).
  • Set a recurring alarm and write for twenty minutes each day.
  • Gather three friends and meet every other week to discuss challenges and progress.

Note: This blog post may sound harsh, but I want you to realize this is your life, your career, your dreams, your goals. No one else will take responsibility for them.

What do you want?

My manual for daily adventure is one of the more popular posts I’ve written on this blog.

People are looking for excitement. They’re looking to add spice and variety to their lives. Sometimes it’s so easy to get stuck in a holding pattern that it feels like it’s too late to get out.

Today, I want to encourage you to carve out time for yourself. Set aside the “shoulds” and “musts” and deadlines and pressing calendar invites. Give yourself the space to ask the following question:

“What do I want?”

I’m serious. Get honest with yourself and listen to the answer. What do you really, really want?

I’m not just talking about a pay raise or a new car. What makes your heart soar? What are the things you dream of? What is your adventure?

What do you want?

If you have trouble with this question, break it down into parts. Think about your career, your love life, your home, your body, spirituality, money.

Is it a title you’re after? Are you wanting to feel connected and respected? Do you look forward to returning home? Is your relationship with your body uplifting and energizing? Do you feel grounded most of the time? Are you creating a life of abundance?

You can take this exercise one step further by writing it down. List what comes to mind when you consider each topic. Post this list someplace you’ll see it often and revisit it regularly to align your daily actions with your long-term goals.

Where you channel your focus is where you’ll attract opportunities.

Find what you love. Find what excites you. Refuse to settle into a rut that’s binding. If you’re in one now, get out. Visualize possibilities and pinpoint goals that will move you closer towards what you want.

Give yourself permission to ask the question (and don’t be afraid of the answer). It might not be clear, it might seem out of reach. The important thing is that you ask.

What do you want?

11 ways to “pick yourself”

Seth Godin encourages us to stop waiting for that call, the publisher, that big chance, the label. We’re at a place in history where opportunities to put ourselves into the game abound. We simply must choose to play.
But let’s get real. It isn’t always easy to find a straight line from Point A to Point B. The journey is often a winding one, filled with ups and downs, frustration and enthusiasm, celebrations of triumph and moments of despair. We see the Amanda Palmers and the Jerry Weintraubs and place them in a category separate from ourselves. They have more talent. I couldn’t do what she did. I have a family to support. He has all the right connections. She had nothing to lose. We come up with excuses upon excuses, ultimately scaring ourselves away from plausible outcomes. It’s easier to toe the mark, be complacent, play it safe.
For those wanting to “pick yourself,” it can be challenging to know where to begin. Leaping from a set job description with specific duties to a blank slate in which you create your own career path seems daunting to even the most entrepreneurial among us. (Hint: running your own show rarely happens over night.)
You may be clocking hours at a 9am-5pm and fantasizing of a life in which your product/service/offering/business/time/art/talent is all your own. Give your dreams a chance. Here are 11 simple ideas to help you move in the direction of picking yourself.

  1. Write. Set aside time to ask questions, dream, think big. Put your phone on silent and set an alarm twenty minutes out.
  2. Find a mentor. Schedule a fifteen minute phone call with someone you admire. Ask about their daily schedule, where they find inspiration, what keeps them motivated. Thank them for their time.
  3. Walk. I call them Creative Walks. Go outside for forty minutes. Do not bring your phone, but do bring paper and a pen. Let your mind wander. The best ideas rarely happen when you’re sitting at a desk.
  4. Become an impresario. Organize an after-work meetup or a social gathering. Invite speakers who can add value to your project and excite your team. Orchestrate a potluck and recruit guests to moderate discussion.
  5. Contribute. Challenge yourself to speak up in your next meeting. Pose a provocative question or make an unnoticed observation. Actively participate.
  6. Be an intrapreneur. Look for a project within your company. Has no one addressed company culture? Is there an unmet need? An open opportunity?
  7. Pitch yourself. That thing you’ve always wanted to start/produce/make? Sell yourself on it.
  8. Lunch and learn. Have lunch with a colleague you don’t know very well. Seek to understand their work and job functions. Find out which projects excite them.
  9. Surprise someone. A colleague, a partner, a parent. Call them out of the blue for no particular reason, leave a card for them to discover, gift them with something thoughtful. Add unexpected meaning to their day.
  10. Book a vacation. You don’t have to spend a fortune. Go away for the weekend. Plan a day trip. Take a tent to the mountains. Break from your day-to-day and surround yourself with something different.
  11. Write a letter to your hero. Compose a letter to your role model, the person whose life you most admire. You don’t have to send it; use it as an exercise to more clearly define your wants and desires. Or send it and see what happens.

Don’t wait. Pick yourself. Today.

Sometimes the best decision is the wrong one.

We’re bombarded with decisions.

Each day we’re faced with a record number of choices. From seemingly insignificant deliberations:

  • what to eat
  • what to wear
  • calendar scheduling
  • whether to walk or bike
  • branded or generic
  • what gifts to buy

to potentially life altering dilemmas:

  • which job to accept
  • what school to attend
  • who to marry
  • stock investments
  • starting a business
  • having children

It’s no wonder folks shy away from concrete decisions. They’re afraid. The bitterness of failure can paralyze even the most steeled among us. We all want to find the best path and make choices leading to our happiness and success, but the pressure to do so becomes burdensome. As a result, we get in our own way, stunt our growth, and eliminate perfectly good opportunities.

Realize any decision can be a good one, and the fear of making a bad choice subsides.

Wrong decisions can provide valuable information about your next best move. If you are willing to observe and take note of your experience and emotional response, most “mistakes” offer beneficial teaching moments.

Give yourself permission to make wrong decisions.

Growth and advancement requires some measure of commitment, risk, and fearlessness. If you can remove labels and take pressure off each decision, you’ll be able to access more and gain from each experience. Refuse to compromise for an abridged version; focus your vision on long-term growth instead.