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Tag: dreams

When you find your passion, people will hate you.

“I think your [sic] passionate about your work and I know it turns people like me off.”

The message pinged in my Facebook inbox as I was going to sleep.

Maybe because I was in a particularly fragile state — two days in bed with high fever, my arms and legs raging with sunburn, pimples dotting my face, constipation, tension high with continued visa struggles, pressure to find funding for our annex building while trying to keep dinners in NYC going strong — I’ll admit, the comment stung. It got me thinking about what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been going about it. I instantly starting writing and analyzing.

You see, even when you’re shining and radiant and doing good work in the world, there will be people who don’t like you, who don’t understand, who aren’t supportive.

Ignore them. Write a list of all your wins and keep going.

P.S. If I had good wifi, I would download and listen to James’ podcasts.

Acceptance and a face tattoo

Last night I had a dream I got a tattoo. It was a big black tribal symbol winding down the side of my face and neck. Sometimes my hair would hide it, but no amount of accessories or clothing could conceal its dark lines. I spent most of the dream trying to come to terms with it and accept the fact I had this thing permanently etched onto my skin.

I’ve sat with NY Times bestselling authors, farmers in Nepal, Tibetan Buddhists, Wall Street sharks, Italian philosophers and millionaires from California. They all have one thing in common:

Everyone wants something.

I have yet to meet an individual who is 100% honestly, truly satisfied. Everyone has some benchmark they are trying to tip, some element of their life they wish they could change. This is life.

No matter where you are, who you are, how much money you have, or who sleeps next to you, there is something that could be better, easier, more exciting, different. This gap drives who we are and what we do. We spend so much time and energy building, creating, altering and striving that it seems against our nature to be satisfied.

Acceptance is one of those gold terms; if you nail it, you’re rich. Wealth comes from recognizing what cannot be changed and where there is opportunity (of self, of others, the good and bad of what life deals you). If you can work with what you have, you’re well on your way.

5 questions to measure success

I’ve been thinking about the American Dream and how we’ve come to define wealth and achievement. I’m turning 30 soon, a benchmark to pause and reflect on life’s work and progress.

Yet the ways in which I was taught to measure “success” don’t seem to apply to me.

I don’t own a house or a car. What I do own fits into a duffle bag. I sleep under a mosquito net. My savings account is negligible, I have student loans I will probably never be able to pay. I’m unmarried, I have no children. In full disclosure, it’s been awhile since I received a regular paycheck.

According to the American Dream, I’m a complete failure.

It has me wondering if our notion of wealth has become distorted. If the scales we use to determine value and impact are skewed, if we’re asking the wrong questions — both of ourselves of the organizations we trust.

As I enter a new decade, I consider:

Are you helping others?

Are you accomplishing set goals?

Do you feel welcomed into a community? 

Are there people in your life who support you?

Are you learning, getting just a little bit better, more patient, more compassionate, more understanding, more loving each day?

For more on redefining success, wealth and the American Dream, read my original post on Medium.

The numbers in your bank account mean little.

If you hate your job, you cannot afford to stay one more day.
Over half of college graduates accept jobs that aren’t in their preferred industries (Bureau of Labor Statistics). People are bored, tired, and return home cranky and angry. Distraction comes in the form of stimuli — alcohol, drugs, buying things, selling things, gambling, eating, checking out in front of a screen.
You’ve invested too much in yourself — your education and training — to remain in a stifling workplace, performing tasks that are redundant. You are too valuable. Each second of your life is a precious moment you can’t get back. A bus could take you out tomorrow.
As difficult as it might seem to find a new gig, your life depends on it.
Your checkbook isn’t the only thing you should worry about. The bigger balance is your soul.

5 rules of hustling

Alongside the long hours and sleepless nights and moments of thrashing, I can pinpoint five realizations that have defined my journey as an entrepreneur and businessperson. Whether you’re just beginning or well on your way, I’m sharing these “rules” in hopes they’ll encourage you and meet you wherever you’re at. Note: these statements apply to spaces beyond entrepreneurship and commerce.
ONE. It’s OK to start slow and take small steps until things become clear.
TWO. There is never a perfect moment, but there will always be something that can stop you (if you let it).
THREE. Change doesn’t happen over night.
FOUR. If you’re searching for your life’s purpose, you may never find it. Instead, focus on what brings you joy and do what you’re good at.
FIVE. Stop pretending. There is no substitution for “doing you” — being authentically, wholly, completely, fully you. When you can embrace this, you will be rewarded in more ways than you could have ever imagined.