Creating with intention
If you think you have power, you do.
If you think you’re rich, you will be.
If your plans depend upon a particular circumstance, they may never happen.
If you’re waiting for someone else to act first, you could wait forever.
Take nothing for granted.
Certain beliefs have been hardwired into our minds. From a very early age, our behavior has been molded by rewards and experiences. Thought patterns have formed impressive grooves onto our brains, so much in fact, that twenty, thirty, even forty years later, these patterns persist — some without us knowing, some incredibly damaging to our progress as human beings.
A few of mine, for example:
As fast as possible is always best (efficiency!).
“Doing nothing” is bad.
Self-sacrifice is noble.
Money means struggle.
I’m not sure what they are for you. They’re not always easy to uncover. Typically the worst ones manifest in subtle ways until slowly, overtime, their cumulative effects create disturbance. This is why thousands of Americans flock to doctors: there’s an issue to fix (depression, anxiety, disinterest, fatigue, high blood pressure, panic). These symptoms can result in lost jobs, broken relationships, low self-esteem, hopelessness or worse.
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the space and time to look at possible causes of such symptoms. What is the root of the hardships you’re enduring? When you think you’ve identified the issue, push yourself to go even deeper. But please, don’t be afraid to consult a qualified therapist to walk you gently through this potentially dark and lonely forest. The right person can be a light as you find your way home.
It can take months, years to unlearn damaging beliefs. Be patient with yourself and stay focused on what you really want your life to look like. You’re worth it.
There are people in your world who need to meet.
Send an email introduction today between two people you greatly admire, people who can benefit from knowing each other and will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Your introduction can spin one person’s life into an entirely new direction.
Fellow impresario, make it happen.
I spent a good chunk of my early career worrying about finding the right kinds of business, attracting smart clients, generating the best PR. I’d worry if my work was good enough, if my talents and skills were evident, if my angle was unique.
Through trial and error, I realized there are two surefire ways to catch the attention of an audience (they’re fickle and quick to move on, so you have to be powerfully concise and to the point):
1. Show “why you.”
Behave in a way that gives me no choice but to see you. Your track record is an active testament to your character and to your work as a professional. I don’t care what is listed on your resume. I want projects and completed work that demonstrate your capabilities and promise as a leader.
2. Ask a question that can’t be avoided.
Put something in my head I can’t ignore. You’re here as a professional, so ask me something that proves you are what you say. You’re not here to be ordered about. Create an itch that leaves me wanting more.
Make me care.
“I think your [sic] passionate about your work and I know it turns people like me off.”
The message pinged in my Facebook inbox as I was going to sleep.
Maybe because I was in a particularly fragile state — two days in bed with high fever, my arms and legs raging with sunburn, pimples dotting my face, constipation, tension high with continued visa struggles, pressure to find funding for our annex building while trying to keep dinners in NYC going strong — I’ll admit, the comment stung. It got me thinking about what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been going about it. I instantly starting writing and analyzing.
You see, even when you’re shining and radiant and doing good work in the world, there will be people who don’t like you, who don’t understand, who aren’t supportive.
Ignore them. Write a list of all your wins and keep going.
P.S. If I had good wifi, I would download and listen to James’ podcasts.
There’s something out of reach, and your mind is focused on it like a laser. A job, a relationship, a sum of money, a status. Whatever it is, it is unavailable, and you know it. But that doesn’t stop you from dreaming about it.
Your brain has tricked you into thinking this is where the rewards are. A tasty cocktail of novelty, desire, delayed gratification, and dopamine has you convinced this is what will make you happy, this will bring peace and prosperity and satisfaction. You compare yourself to those who DO have, and you’ll never measure up.
This is easy.
You’re spending your energy and time on the unattainable. Your yearning is conveniently preventing you from focusing your attention on what you do have. While you fantasize about what you can’t have, the problems you can solve, the circumstances you can change, the talents you do possess sit idle on the sidelines.
Catch yourself. Catch yourself longing and redirect your thoughts to what is in the realm of possibility. Channel your energy towards places you can affect.
I have a hunch you’ll find more happiness there.